as mercurial as a thermometer
Was I ever in a funk this morning! I was ready to call everything quits. There is so much that I have to do that seems completely undoable and the only thing that can convince me otherwise is just a little bit of extra knowledge or extra help or occasionally extra time. I really cannot figure things out on my own. Somehow, despite adding more to my list of things to accomplish by the end of October, I’m not freaking out about as I would have only eight hours ago. I wish I knew exactly what controls my mood. Actually I have a bit of “insight” ha ha. Erm, actually that should be “intersect” but, anyway, there’s no reason to try to explain. In any case as a green (did I mention I’m wearing a green outfit today? I should do another series of monochromatic outfits. Last time it only lasted three days but I loved it all the same.) I feel better when I am able to do things. Today I sat through a weekly meeting that I can never follow (it is like a trip into a foreign country) which exacerbated my mood. Afterward I went to the class where I understand the lectures (also I got a ridiculously good grade on the last test which has made me cocky) and felt immediately better. After that I met with my advisor who straightened out an issue I was having with one of the tasks of mine that was troubling me. Then we went over the paper and instead of talking about it the way we are supposed to my advisor taught us about the methods they used and why the work and how they sometimes don’t (oh science!). Anyway, the point is that I feel best when I am learning things because I can be really good at learning and understanding things. The corollary seems to be extreme agitation when I am being taught but not learning. It is not pleasant and leaves me frustrated.
Whoa. Did I ever write about the day at field camp that all of a sudden my vision readjusted itself? It was like, imagine you are looking at an image in a still pool when one ripple passes over the surface. It looked like that. My partner was quite concerned about it and made me sit and drink extra water (I obliged because this field area had an outhouse) while she did some exploring. That just happened to me except that it was my perception of my location that shifted. I have no idea how to explain properly.
Whoa. Did I ever write about the day at field camp that all of a sudden my vision readjusted itself? It was like, imagine you are looking at an image in a still pool when one ripple passes over the surface. It looked like that. My partner was quite concerned about it and made me sit and drink extra water (I obliged because this field area had an outhouse) while she did some exploring. That just happened to me except that it was my perception of my location that shifted. I have no idea how to explain properly.