Return to Edge City - Mall Zombies
First two hours of session spent discussing nuclear weapons, nuclear accidents, and engineering failsafes.
Hardlight: And moving from nuclear weapons to biological weapons?
Because the Fast Zombie virus is apparently in the most exclusive hi-end mall in this part of California.
Hardlight: Are we going to have to nuke somebody?
GM: Hopefully not.
Hero Shrew: Unless it looks like the zombie virus is going to get loose and infect half of the state. Maybe we should tell somebody about this?
Fireflash: Who'd believe us?
Hero Shrew: Well, I know it would be embarrassing if it turns out we're wrong, but -
Flux: So, the probably-wanted-super-criminal calls the police saying he has a spell that says there's a zombie plague loose in the Mall. How well do you think that will go?
GM: Where did this virus thing come from? I never mentioned zombie virus.
Hero Shrew: I've seen movies.
Fireflash: I seem to be more pulchritudinous than I was before I got my powers.
GM: Well, you have to store the energy somewhere.
Hero Shrew: So what kind of clothes am I going to have in my Garfield disguise? I don't think my usual wife beater and torn jeans are going to cut it, here.
Hardlight: ... Look like Garfield and dressed like Top Cat?
Hero Shrew: So, purple hat and vest, and no pants?
GM: It's a mall - a high-end mall.
Fireflash: Oh my gosh, I want to go shopping.
Hardlight: You can come back after you get your Christmas bonus.
Flux: We get a Christmas bonus?
Hero Shrew: News to me... Nice to think we'll live until Christmas.
The Laguna Complex is full of luxury car dealerships, face-change clinics, bespoke electronics and a few places that actually advertise as Moreau-friendly.
Hero Shrew: We are going to do so much damage here.
Flux: We? You.
GM: I was watching Repo Man the other day.
Flux's player: ?
Hero Shrew's player: Famously weird movie that ends with a highly radioactive flying car.
GM: There was a bus in one scene, and the destination was Edge City. *eyes go wide*
(Actually, Repo Man was also an Edge City Production)
Flux: OK, where are the medical outlets, we'll look there first.
Hero Shrew: You'll have to stop me first - I WAS going to look up the mall security sections, but now I'm having too much fun seeing how fast I can spin the map.
We need to get into the secure underground carpark.
Hero Shrew: I suppose I can look around for some matronly customer, and say 'Hey lady, you going down?'
Flux: .... No, no you are not.
Hardlight: Can I Bubble the lifts?
GM: Sure, but you'll attract even more attention.
Hardlight: Great! Either security will come and talk to us, or they're not paying attention and won't be any use to us anyway.
The game is interrupted by a violent 30 second thunderstorm that strikes just outside the door.
GM: It's like there was a tiny storm cloud going prrrrrrrrrr across Perth, FUCK THAT GUY, prrrrrrrrrrr and moves on.
Flux: OK, the zombie signal is behind this wall. Scooter, get digging.
Hero Shrew: OK.
Fireflash: Hey, wait, hold on - can we at least LOOK for another way in first? Maybe a door?
Flux: ... I'm not the only person here who can come up with plans.
GM: Tig, what is your actual name?
Flux's player: Flux's or mine?
GM: Yours.
Flux's player: I'm been gaming here for years now!
GM: I know, but everybody calls you Tig, and I'm terrible with names.
Flux's player: That's fair - I knew you as The Care Bear Guy for years.
Fireflash: If I get banned from the Laguna Complex I'm going to ban your ass.
GM: You're getting a few nervous looks from people, since they know you're four superheroes in a mall, and especially since Flux keeps waving his hands and saying 'This way'
Hardlight: Don't worry people, he's hunting an Arcticuno
Flux: Maybe we do need to talk to security.
Hardlight: Hail, good citizen.
Fireflash: Shut. Up.
Flux: Oh god, Mr Foot-in-Mouth is speaking.
Fireflash: Can we talk to your boss?
Security: Whhhhy?
Fireflash: Because there's a situation he needs to be aware of.
Hero Shrew: And we don't want to start a panic.
Security Chief: OK, what's under my mall?
Fireflash: We're found evidence of a lab producing hyper-velocity undead constructs under the building.
Hero Shrew: Fast Zombies.
Fireflash: I was trying to avoid the Z-word.
Flux: Can we help you guys with the situation?
Security Chief: Like I can stop you.
Flux: Can we get PERMISSION to help with the situation?
Security Chief: It's not worth my job to give you permission.
Flux: Ah, another guy who knows his law.
Security Chief: So that's why there's Voodoo Crew in one of the loading bays right now?
Hero Shrew: Oh, fuck.
We'd made the mistake of using the public map of the mall as we tried to triangulate the zombie's position - and none of the loading bays are included on the shopping map. As a result, we were wandering through the galleries and carparks and continually winding up at solid walls.
Flux: So the Voodoo Crew followed us to the mall rightly assuming we'd find the zombie-tech for them. And that's why they're in the loading bay.
Fireflash: We have been here an hour.
Flux: Oh my god, we are horrible horrible superheroes.
Fireflash: Hi. Would you like to leave?
Voodoo Crewman: Yes, when we have retrieved our property.
Fireflash: Would you like to leave now?
Voodoo Crewman: Yes.
Flux: Well, that is a valid answer. I think we need to set some caveats, we have a smart-arse.
Voodoo Crewman: You're not as scary as Papa Friday. The worst you can do is kill me.
Fireflash: I'm not going to do that.
Voodoo Crewman: You might still kill me by accident. And you're still not as scary as Papa Friday.
Fireflash: I'm not letting you take the stuff.
Voodoo Crewman: OK, that was the signal. We can go.
Fireflash: .... What?
Hero Shrew: I think they found what they were after.
GM: Worse - they switched them on.
Hero Shrew: Oh fuck.
The two drug-harnessed corpses trot towards us, as we move to defend ourselves. And trot right past us.
Flux: What?
Hero Shrew: They've probably been told to head back to base.
Flux: They have to control them somehow.
Fireflash doesn't even want to touch them. Hero Shrew doesn't want to get bitten.
Fireflash: ew ew ew.
Hero Shrew: I've seen the movies, I'm too pretty to be a zombie!
GM: By the way, Scooter, keep track of how much property damage you do.
Hero Shrew: Called it.
Hero Shrew swats one of them back into the concrete wall of the loading bay, which hurts it not at all. And now they're paying attention to us.
Zombie: HHHRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH.
Hardlight finally reaches the loading bay.
Hardlight: Hi guys, how's thi- oh, shit!!!!
Fireflash: Grab that one and hit that one with it!
Zombie: *narrows eyes*
Hero Shrew: Well, she's the leader of Quadrant and seems to know what she's doing most of the time-
Zombie: *grabs Hero Shrew and hits Fireflash with him*
Fireflash is no longer moving, to Hero Shrew's alarm. And there's a cyber-zombie looming over us. And another that's giggling alarming and doing a super-speed run at the nearest truck in an attempt to roll it over on us. The shrew launches himself at the dearest undead in a crushing tackle.
Hero Shrew: Apparently shrew hugs are more dangerous than bear hugs.
GM: You feel a cracking inside it, and grin in fierce satisfaction. And then it seems to inflate again.
Fireflash: They have Regenerate????
Flux: Goddammit... Now I want one. You bastard.
GM: You can't rip the harness off, it's an implant. It's like trying to rip off somebody's nose.
Fireflash: That IS doable.
Hero Shrew: 'My zombie has no nose' 'How does he smell?' 'Fucking awful, he's a fucking zombie, what do you think?'
Fireflash recovers enough to blast the other zombie across the carpark and into a car.
GM: INTO a car.
Hero Shrew: So the airbags go off?
GM: Yup - so does the alarm.
Flux: ... OK, she has the matter under control, I'm outta here.
GM: No she doesn't it.
Fireflash: I can't do that twice!
Hero Shrew is trying to pile-drive the one he has grappled.
Hero Shrew: What's a suplex manoeuvre?
Fireflash: Hoist the zombie over your shoulder and fall back on him.
GM: You're doing a pile driver.
Hero Shrew: I never watched wrestling.
Hardlight: Says the guy who can suplex a train.
Hardlight: I call this the HUSQVARNA SPECIAL!
GM: Hey, Hero Shrew, Hardlight is swinging a giant chainsaw at you!
Hero Shrew: FUUUUUUUUUU-
Hardlight misses, Hero Shrew's piledrive doesn't, and the truck has now had a zombie plowed through it three times. Somebody is going to complain.
GM: At least you're paying attention, so you notice when the zombies are trying to regenerate. BLAST. The pieces are crawling back together. BLAST BLAST BLAST. NOW they stop moving.
Searching the zombies finds a card with 'Come home - kill any who try to stop you' in Haitian Creole. The Voodoo Crew weren't fucking around. And we also find where the zombies were being stored - in a locker belonging to one of the Dysprosium Dawn's tech-head allies that worked at the mall. Also, forensics indicate that the zombies were volunteers, and alive when the process started. At least it's very unlikely that the Voodoo Crew and Dysprosium Dawn will ever recreate them.
Hardlight: Do you have any evil Nemeses?
Flux: Well, there's that fucking accountant.
Hardlight: And moving from nuclear weapons to biological weapons?
Because the Fast Zombie virus is apparently in the most exclusive hi-end mall in this part of California.
Hardlight: Are we going to have to nuke somebody?
GM: Hopefully not.
Hero Shrew: Unless it looks like the zombie virus is going to get loose and infect half of the state. Maybe we should tell somebody about this?
Fireflash: Who'd believe us?
Hero Shrew: Well, I know it would be embarrassing if it turns out we're wrong, but -
Flux: So, the probably-wanted-super-criminal calls the police saying he has a spell that says there's a zombie plague loose in the Mall. How well do you think that will go?
GM: Where did this virus thing come from? I never mentioned zombie virus.
Hero Shrew: I've seen movies.
Fireflash: I seem to be more pulchritudinous than I was before I got my powers.
GM: Well, you have to store the energy somewhere.
Hero Shrew: So what kind of clothes am I going to have in my Garfield disguise? I don't think my usual wife beater and torn jeans are going to cut it, here.
Hardlight: ... Look like Garfield and dressed like Top Cat?
Hero Shrew: So, purple hat and vest, and no pants?
GM: It's a mall - a high-end mall.
Fireflash: Oh my gosh, I want to go shopping.
Hardlight: You can come back after you get your Christmas bonus.
Flux: We get a Christmas bonus?
Hero Shrew: News to me... Nice to think we'll live until Christmas.
The Laguna Complex is full of luxury car dealerships, face-change clinics, bespoke electronics and a few places that actually advertise as Moreau-friendly.
Hero Shrew: We are going to do so much damage here.
Flux: We? You.
GM: I was watching Repo Man the other day.
Flux's player: ?
Hero Shrew's player: Famously weird movie that ends with a highly radioactive flying car.
GM: There was a bus in one scene, and the destination was Edge City. *eyes go wide*
(Actually, Repo Man was also an Edge City Production)
Flux: OK, where are the medical outlets, we'll look there first.
Hero Shrew: You'll have to stop me first - I WAS going to look up the mall security sections, but now I'm having too much fun seeing how fast I can spin the map.
We need to get into the secure underground carpark.
Hero Shrew: I suppose I can look around for some matronly customer, and say 'Hey lady, you going down?'
Flux: .... No, no you are not.
Hardlight: Can I Bubble the lifts?
GM: Sure, but you'll attract even more attention.
Hardlight: Great! Either security will come and talk to us, or they're not paying attention and won't be any use to us anyway.
The game is interrupted by a violent 30 second thunderstorm that strikes just outside the door.
GM: It's like there was a tiny storm cloud going prrrrrrrrrr across Perth, FUCK THAT GUY, prrrrrrrrrrr and moves on.
Flux: OK, the zombie signal is behind this wall. Scooter, get digging.
Hero Shrew: OK.
Fireflash: Hey, wait, hold on - can we at least LOOK for another way in first? Maybe a door?
Flux: ... I'm not the only person here who can come up with plans.
GM: Tig, what is your actual name?
Flux's player: Flux's or mine?
GM: Yours.
Flux's player: I'm been gaming here for years now!
GM: I know, but everybody calls you Tig, and I'm terrible with names.
Flux's player: That's fair - I knew you as The Care Bear Guy for years.
Fireflash: If I get banned from the Laguna Complex I'm going to ban your ass.
GM: You're getting a few nervous looks from people, since they know you're four superheroes in a mall, and especially since Flux keeps waving his hands and saying 'This way'
Hardlight: Don't worry people, he's hunting an Arcticuno
Flux: Maybe we do need to talk to security.
Hardlight: Hail, good citizen.
Fireflash: Shut. Up.
Flux: Oh god, Mr Foot-in-Mouth is speaking.
Fireflash: Can we talk to your boss?
Security: Whhhhy?
Fireflash: Because there's a situation he needs to be aware of.
Hero Shrew: And we don't want to start a panic.
Security Chief: OK, what's under my mall?
Fireflash: We're found evidence of a lab producing hyper-velocity undead constructs under the building.
Hero Shrew: Fast Zombies.
Fireflash: I was trying to avoid the Z-word.
Flux: Can we help you guys with the situation?
Security Chief: Like I can stop you.
Flux: Can we get PERMISSION to help with the situation?
Security Chief: It's not worth my job to give you permission.
Flux: Ah, another guy who knows his law.
Security Chief: So that's why there's Voodoo Crew in one of the loading bays right now?
Hero Shrew: Oh, fuck.
We'd made the mistake of using the public map of the mall as we tried to triangulate the zombie's position - and none of the loading bays are included on the shopping map. As a result, we were wandering through the galleries and carparks and continually winding up at solid walls.
Flux: So the Voodoo Crew followed us to the mall rightly assuming we'd find the zombie-tech for them. And that's why they're in the loading bay.
Fireflash: We have been here an hour.
Flux: Oh my god, we are horrible horrible superheroes.
Fireflash: Hi. Would you like to leave?
Voodoo Crewman: Yes, when we have retrieved our property.
Fireflash: Would you like to leave now?
Voodoo Crewman: Yes.
Flux: Well, that is a valid answer. I think we need to set some caveats, we have a smart-arse.
Voodoo Crewman: You're not as scary as Papa Friday. The worst you can do is kill me.
Fireflash: I'm not going to do that.
Voodoo Crewman: You might still kill me by accident. And you're still not as scary as Papa Friday.
Fireflash: I'm not letting you take the stuff.
Voodoo Crewman: OK, that was the signal. We can go.
Fireflash: .... What?
Hero Shrew: I think they found what they were after.
GM: Worse - they switched them on.
Hero Shrew: Oh fuck.
The two drug-harnessed corpses trot towards us, as we move to defend ourselves. And trot right past us.
Flux: What?
Hero Shrew: They've probably been told to head back to base.
Flux: They have to control them somehow.
Fireflash doesn't even want to touch them. Hero Shrew doesn't want to get bitten.
Fireflash: ew ew ew.
Hero Shrew: I've seen the movies, I'm too pretty to be a zombie!
GM: By the way, Scooter, keep track of how much property damage you do.
Hero Shrew: Called it.
Hero Shrew swats one of them back into the concrete wall of the loading bay, which hurts it not at all. And now they're paying attention to us.
Zombie: HHHRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH.
Hardlight finally reaches the loading bay.
Hardlight: Hi guys, how's thi- oh, shit!!!!
Fireflash: Grab that one and hit that one with it!
Zombie: *narrows eyes*
Hero Shrew: Well, she's the leader of Quadrant and seems to know what she's doing most of the time-
Zombie: *grabs Hero Shrew and hits Fireflash with him*
Fireflash is no longer moving, to Hero Shrew's alarm. And there's a cyber-zombie looming over us. And another that's giggling alarming and doing a super-speed run at the nearest truck in an attempt to roll it over on us. The shrew launches himself at the dearest undead in a crushing tackle.
Hero Shrew: Apparently shrew hugs are more dangerous than bear hugs.
GM: You feel a cracking inside it, and grin in fierce satisfaction. And then it seems to inflate again.
Fireflash: They have Regenerate????
Flux: Goddammit... Now I want one. You bastard.
GM: You can't rip the harness off, it's an implant. It's like trying to rip off somebody's nose.
Fireflash: That IS doable.
Hero Shrew: 'My zombie has no nose' 'How does he smell?' 'Fucking awful, he's a fucking zombie, what do you think?'
Fireflash recovers enough to blast the other zombie across the carpark and into a car.
GM: INTO a car.
Hero Shrew: So the airbags go off?
GM: Yup - so does the alarm.
Flux: ... OK, she has the matter under control, I'm outta here.
GM: No she doesn't it.
Fireflash: I can't do that twice!
Hero Shrew is trying to pile-drive the one he has grappled.
Hero Shrew: What's a suplex manoeuvre?
Fireflash: Hoist the zombie over your shoulder and fall back on him.
GM: You're doing a pile driver.
Hero Shrew: I never watched wrestling.
Hardlight: Says the guy who can suplex a train.
Hardlight: I call this the HUSQVARNA SPECIAL!
GM: Hey, Hero Shrew, Hardlight is swinging a giant chainsaw at you!
Hero Shrew: FUUUUUUUUUU-
Hardlight misses, Hero Shrew's piledrive doesn't, and the truck has now had a zombie plowed through it three times. Somebody is going to complain.
GM: At least you're paying attention, so you notice when the zombies are trying to regenerate. BLAST. The pieces are crawling back together. BLAST BLAST BLAST. NOW they stop moving.
Searching the zombies finds a card with 'Come home - kill any who try to stop you' in Haitian Creole. The Voodoo Crew weren't fucking around. And we also find where the zombies were being stored - in a locker belonging to one of the Dysprosium Dawn's tech-head allies that worked at the mall. Also, forensics indicate that the zombies were volunteers, and alive when the process started. At least it's very unlikely that the Voodoo Crew and Dysprosium Dawn will ever recreate them.
Hardlight: Do you have any evil Nemeses?
Flux: Well, there's that fucking accountant.