grrrr
This pretty much sums it up. I'm frustrated and stressed and need to just toss it all out here and out of my head so I can go back to being happy and grateful. So here's my list of complaints (i realize some of them will sound very whiny and petty and that's ok):
- We've been understaffed at work for months. Most of us have been working 9+ hours/day and do what we can to not ask for any time off so that we don't screw everyone else over. Yesterday, one of the girls quit, leaving us more understaffed. I'm praying that NOW the boss/owner will hire some new people. Not only do we need the staff but new people would bump me and Lisa up on the schedule and we wouldn't have to close anymore. We'd all also go back to 8 hour shifts.
- On a related note, one of the girls at work is getting on my very last nerve. I try to be patient and understanding but enough is enough. For months now (well for always from what I understand), she kind of makes her own schedule - 8-3 on Mondays, 8-4 on Tuesday and 8-5 the rest of the week but she never actually works a full shift. And then she wants to complain about having to be there all the time and jokes with me and Lisa when we make a fuss about only working 8 hours on Fridays. Really!? REALLY!? And when she's there she does nothing but complain and talk about how she needs a new job. She's got the older infants who are transitioning to the Toddler One room and I never see her actually sitting and playing with them. SO FRUSTRATING!!! So I close the door of my classroom and do what i can to ignore her. At least her baby is a cutie... (the icing on the cake was calling off on Tuesday when she knew someone else was off for a funeral. or today when she tried to outright refuse to come back after her daughter's school program even though she knew we were short staffed and needed her to work her shift). She doesn't know anything about being a team player!
- I am sick and tired of listening to people (like my sister) complaining about the same crap over and over again. Either make changes or stop talking about it! I just can't listen to the same incessant whining. I've made changes in my life, and it hasn't been super easy exactly but it hasn't been impossible either.
- I need to stop leaving my laundry go for two weeks. The bags get too heavy to lug back up the steps. This may require changing space/time and adding more hours to the day.
- I decided this week that I wanted to start the Couch to 5K program. I enjoyed running when I was in the Army and i want to start running again. i want to actually run the 5K at the Great Race in September and get a competitive time. Monday night went great! I followed the instructions and walked/ran 1.84 miles with little respiratory trouble and moderate leg trouble - I get HORRIBLE shin splints when I run and had forgotten about that. It wasn't horrible on Monday and I figured I'd run again on Tuesday and just make sure to stretch better. But then Tuesday was a disaster and they were so bad i could barely walk home! I did what I had to do to make them feel better and then took Wednesday off. Tonight I tried to run again and same thing happened. I need to find a way around this because I'm determined to be successful in this...right now it's just frustrating!
- I'm so ready to be done with school. Three classes (and a final for the class I'm in now) to go and I can't wait.
My sister no longer has a car. She can't drive hers. Well, Sunday (Mother's Day) I'm having my boys dedicated at church (for a myriad of reasons. they were baptized as infants but I feel like this is the next right step for our little family unit) and I really wanted my sisters to be there. I want and need that family support - whether it's family by chance or family by choice - and I know they won't come. I can't drive back and forth, it's too far. And even if I arranged for rides, I feel like they wouldn't want to make the effort anyway. They have so many excuses to avoid time with me as it is and forget about time with me at church. And really, I'll survive them not being there. I just don't want to feel like I'm in this all alone. I feel like I'm in all of this alone and as strong as I can be, sometimes I feel like I'm going to break.
On a related note...my sister had the balls to ask me if I was going to be getting another refund and if I was could I loan her $4000 for a new car. I won't even go into all the thoughts that went through my mind...NONE of them are very nice.
And so that I don't end on all this negative - I got to go have breakfast with my baby this morning. I loved every minute of it and I'm grateful that I had the chance to go. It was a beautiful day, i had the sunroof open and the windows down and my current favorite worship song blasting on the radio on my way to work after breakfast, and I have a job to go to that I actually love. Oh and I have some amazing friends (and some kinda-friends who like to debate with me which is always good).