thinky thoughts...again....
This was going to just be a little facebook status update but then it got long and rambly so I thought it should be a blog instead (and then I accidentally deleted the update instead of posting it anyway lol)
My co-teacher and I have been listening to lots of love songs lately. She's young and in love and I'm a hopeless romantic who may grumble about the impossibility of "perfect" love but really deep down believes that it exists and that I'll find it one day too.
Then today I found myself watching one sappy "marry me" song after another on youtube. And it got me thinking.... (of course lol)
J and I are still married...I have everything in line to go file for divorce next Thursday. It'll take 90 days for it to be final and I don't want to have a boyfriend while I still have a husband. So when I say that I don't want a boyfriend or relationship, I really honestly mean it. I'm not even sure I want to start dating right now either. But I've given some thoughts to what I want and what expect when I do...
Here's what I've got...
Technology is amazing and wonderful and I honestly couldn't survive without my phone and my facebook and my Pandora. However, if you want to ask me out, pick up the phone and press that little button that looks like a phone and actually call me. A "how have you been?" or "Whatcha up to?" text is fine if you wanna just touch base and say hi but if you want to make plans with me, go that extra step and call me, ask me to dinner, and tell me what time you want to pick me up. Kick it old school. And honestly, I tend to only text people these days and have been making an effort to actually call people and talk to them from time to time. It's nice to actually hear all your voices every once in a while.
Let's go to dinner (or lunch or the coffee shop) and sit and talk and actually get to know each other. Have honest conversations about ourselves, where we've been, where we are now, where we're going. I'm pretty much an open book - ask me questions and I'll answer them openly and honestly. But take that time to get to know me. And be honest with me and give me the same courtesy in return. You don't have to work too hard to impress me...just be yourself and let me be me.
Understand that I'm not going to put out, so don't try. I'll let you know if a good night kiss at my door is all right, but don't try to come up and get me into bed. I'm not some horny and curious teenager anymore. I've done some soul searching and have made a commitment to myself and to God that I'm not going to break. Respect me enough to respect that and don't push me; doing so will guarantee no second date.
Also understand that if I say no because I have my kids for the weekend and don't want to leave them with the babysitter that I'm not rejecting you but will gladly reschedule for an evening when they're with their dad. It really truly isn't you...it is me...and them...and the fact that they're my number one priority. I screwed up the relationship stuff in the past and did things backwards and messed up and it cost me in a really big way. I'm still fighting to clean up that mess and will not make that same mistake again.
Be patient with me and be flexible. I'm worth the effort and the wait...and so are you.
My co-teacher and I have been listening to lots of love songs lately. She's young and in love and I'm a hopeless romantic who may grumble about the impossibility of "perfect" love but really deep down believes that it exists and that I'll find it one day too.
Then today I found myself watching one sappy "marry me" song after another on youtube. And it got me thinking.... (of course lol)
J and I are still married...I have everything in line to go file for divorce next Thursday. It'll take 90 days for it to be final and I don't want to have a boyfriend while I still have a husband. So when I say that I don't want a boyfriend or relationship, I really honestly mean it. I'm not even sure I want to start dating right now either. But I've given some thoughts to what I want and what expect when I do...
Here's what I've got...
Technology is amazing and wonderful and I honestly couldn't survive without my phone and my facebook and my Pandora. However, if you want to ask me out, pick up the phone and press that little button that looks like a phone and actually call me. A "how have you been?" or "Whatcha up to?" text is fine if you wanna just touch base and say hi but if you want to make plans with me, go that extra step and call me, ask me to dinner, and tell me what time you want to pick me up. Kick it old school. And honestly, I tend to only text people these days and have been making an effort to actually call people and talk to them from time to time. It's nice to actually hear all your voices every once in a while.
Let's go to dinner (or lunch or the coffee shop) and sit and talk and actually get to know each other. Have honest conversations about ourselves, where we've been, where we are now, where we're going. I'm pretty much an open book - ask me questions and I'll answer them openly and honestly. But take that time to get to know me. And be honest with me and give me the same courtesy in return. You don't have to work too hard to impress me...just be yourself and let me be me.
Understand that I'm not going to put out, so don't try. I'll let you know if a good night kiss at my door is all right, but don't try to come up and get me into bed. I'm not some horny and curious teenager anymore. I've done some soul searching and have made a commitment to myself and to God that I'm not going to break. Respect me enough to respect that and don't push me; doing so will guarantee no second date.
Also understand that if I say no because I have my kids for the weekend and don't want to leave them with the babysitter that I'm not rejecting you but will gladly reschedule for an evening when they're with their dad. It really truly isn't you...it is me...and them...and the fact that they're my number one priority. I screwed up the relationship stuff in the past and did things backwards and messed up and it cost me in a really big way. I'm still fighting to clean up that mess and will not make that same mistake again.
Be patient with me and be flexible. I'm worth the effort and the wait...and so are you.