Fanfic Update! Simple Observations: One (Pretty Little Liars, Spencer/Emily)
TITLE: Simple Observations
SERIES: Pretty Little Liars
AUTHOR: Dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
GTALK: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. Spencer/Emily. Sequel to A Romantic Study.
SUMMARY: Everything that Spencer Hastings knew about, including romantic relationships, started with simple observations.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my amusement over Hanna's one liners.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Adding again to the tiny well of Pretty Little Liars femslash. Please folks, won't you join me? The lack of fic is sad and look at Spencer, she's wearing a tie just for you. lol.
Simple Observations
By: Dreiser
Part One
As soon as Emily sat down to lunch she was flanked by Hanna and Aria and met with a barrage of questions that reminded her of Spencer's joke about the Spanish Inquisition earlier that morning. She was alone thanks to Spencer's quandary about whether to have the safe choice of a salad or risk the cafeteria's version of lasagna.
If it was anyone other than her two best friends, Emily might have felt overwhelmed by all of this, but since it was Hanna and Aria, their faces brimming with such obvious happiness for her and excitement in their voices, all she could do was laugh. Easy and carefree, it bubbled up in her throat, filling her with delight. Hanna's eyes twinkled at her reaction while Aria pouted, clearly wanting her answers as soon as possible. In the meantime, Spencer had arrived, apparently deciding to take a chance and go with the lasagna.
Hanna was all too happy to be accommodating, scooting over so Spencer could sit next to Emily on the couch located in the lounge portion of the cafeteria. Wearing a sardonic expression, Spencer looked to Emily. "On a scale of one to ten, how bad are they?"
"Six," said Emily with a grin. "Pretty bad but they could be worse."
"We are sitting here, you know," remarked Aria.
"Oh really? I didn't see you there," drawled Spencer, lifting up her fork and inspecting the lasagna with discerning eyes.
"A short joke, how original," Aria said, ignoring Spencer's chuckle, and Hanna's wide grin. Focusing her attention on Emily, she tugged on her sleeve and said, "You were going to tell us how you guys hooked up."
"The same way you did with Ezra," said Spencer dryly.
"It was in the bathroom?" asked Hanna innocently and Spencer released a snort of laughter at this.
"I'm officially ignoring you," announced Aria, staring Spencer down, and turning back to Emily once again. "Come on, Em, you have to tell us something. I mean, this sort of came out of nowhere, right?"
When neither of them replied immediately, Hanna gasped and exclaimed, "You've been doing it for months, haven't you!"
"What? No!" Spencer sputtered, her neck and face turning red as she protested.
Now recognizing this as a tell tale sign of embarrassment on Spencer's part, Emily smiled softly and touched Spencer's knee. She looked around her to face Hanna as she said, "Spencer told you the truth this morning. Yesterday was the first time we kissed."
"So are you gay now?" Hanna asked Spencer, her brow furrowing, a genuinely curious look on her features.
Without realizing it, Hanna landed on the one sore point Emily had found in all of this. Spencer's sexuality. They never went into Spencer's sudden interest in girls, her in particular, beyond the surface lesbian fantasy explanation which really wasn't anything if you considered they were talking about Spencer Hastings. Emily knew her friend well enough that she probably only said that to broach the subject of her interest in the first place. It was Spencer's interest that made her nervous though. As good as Spencer made her feel, far better than Alison and more than even Maya or Paige, Emily didn't know if she was just an experiment. Or maybe she was the exception to the straight rule and Spencer was only gay for her? Neither of which filled her with much confidence. In fact, both of those options made Emily feel just as lousy as going back into the closet in order to date someone. Like she was something to be ashamed of and Emily hated that feeling, she had enough of it when she was in love with Alison, and she didn't want to experience it anymore.
Of course, she couldn't imagine Spencer doing any of those things to her but Emily couldn't help feeling insecure. They hadn't discussed Spencer's attraction to her in any sort of depth and even though her love life wasn't exactly lengthy it was filled with a good deal of disappointment. Not to mention a lot of heartbreak and she thought being with Spencer, because they were friends and because Spencer was... well, Spencer, protective and sweet and kind, she would escape her doomed trend in relationships. She didn't want to waver in this belief but Emily couldn't help thinking a lot of that depended on how Spencer answered Hanna right now.
"No, Hanna," said Spencer, humor lacing her words. "I'm not gay now." Aware of Emily's negative response to hearing this, Spencer reached for hand, clasping it in a gentle hold. "There's this mysterious thing called bisexuality. You might have heard of it?"
Rolling her eyes, Hanna said peevishly, "Whatever. When did you know you were a mysterious bisexual?"
"I've suspected for awhile," Spencer revealed. Emily was doing her level best to listen to the conversation but it was hard with Spencer's fingertips lightly tracing a path over the palm of her hand. From the way that Spencer's lips quirked up slightly, Emily had her suspicions that Spencer was aware of the affect her touch was having.
"But you never told us," said Aria, frowning at Spencer.
Part of Emily could understand Aria's feelings. They did keep secrets but more and more it seemed those secrets were fading away and there were only a few things they didn't know about one another. Spencer not speaking about her sexuality was a pretty big secret to have. Especially in light of Emily coming out and Aria revealing her relationship with Ezra.
"I know," said Spencer and there was a tinge of guilt in her voice. "I honestly do apologize but I just didn't see the point of saying anything until there was a girl that I liked." She said the last part with a soft smile on her features while looking at Emily who could feel her heart beating faster at the sight.
"And now there's a girl," supplied Hanna, appearing oddly triumphant as she said this. Wiggling in her seat, she clapped her hands excitedly. "Come on, Spence, dish! When did you know that Emily was it?"
"It," Emily echoed in a humorous mutter. "That sounds flattering."
"Was it during one of our sleepovers? Or maybe when she was an obnoxious drunk?" Hanna pursued gleefully, ignoring Emily's complaint.
"I wasn't an obnoxious drunk!" objected Emily, not in the least pleased with that description.
"Hanna," Spencer said her name with a chuckle, an amused look on her features. "I really think I should tell Emily that first. Chronologically, it seems more appropriate to confess these things to your love interest before your friend."
"They're not going to tell you anything," said Aria, looking around Spencer and Emily, and facing Hanna. "Give it up."
"Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across," said Spencer wisely and when they all stared at her with blank expressions she heaved a sigh. "Sun Tzu, The Art of War? Am I the only one here with a summer reading list?"
"I don't know but it feels like we've been reading Grapes of Wrath forever. I wish Mr. Fitz would pick a different book," Emily grumped. Realizing who she was speaking about and in which company, she quickly added, "Not that there's something wrong with that!"
"Don't worry, I'm sick of the dust bowl too," said Aria wryly.
As she said this, the bell rang, signaling an end to lunch and they parted ways since Hanna and Aria were on the other side of the school with classes in World History and Spanish. Spencer and Emily headed to Emily's Chemistry class in comfortable silence but Emily soon found herself staring at Spencer's hand and considering it until, finally, she got irritated with herself and reached out for it. Spencer looked over at her with surprise that shifted into pleasure as Emily laced their fingers together. A smile curving on her lips, she swung their hands lightly in between them as they walked to their classes.
Coming to a stop outside the room, Emily was only vaguely aware of people going around her and into the class as Spencer leaned against the doorway. "Are you okay with this?" asked Spencer softly and she was just a breath away from Emily. "With us? I know it's so brand new that we're practically shiny but you probably have some opinion."
"I'm okay, we're okay," said Emily in reassuring tones. "I do want to talk about it though. Only..." Emily trailed off worriedly.
"What?" Spencer prompted, an encouraging look on her features.
"Only I have swim practice after school," said Emily and she wasn't sure why she was worried when she watched Spencer smile.
"I'll wait for you," said Spencer, her eyes shining affectionately.
"What about you? Are you okay with this?" asked Emily, suddenly anxious.
"I'm very okay," Spencer drawled, a crooked smile tugging at her lips. She wore a thoughtful expression as she tucked a lock of hair behind Emily's ear and murmured, "This is what I've wanted for awhile, Em."
"Lesbian fantasies," said Emily knowingly, forming a teasing smile.
Chuckling at this, Spencer replied, "Yes and my lesbian fantasies are decidedly more boring than most average teenage boys." Her eyes glanced up at a nearby clock and she turned back to Emily as she said, "I better get going." Moving forward smoothly, she kissed Emily lightly, her fingers trailing across Emily's cheek. "I'll see you after swim practice."
"All right," said Emily happily, the words coming out in an almost breathless manner. She would've been embarrassed but she was feeling too good about herself for that to happen. Especially when Spencer turned around after a few steps and beamed at her as she blew a kiss goodbye. Shaking her head, Emily walked into the classroom.
The moment she sat down her phone buzzed and she saw the notice of a text message from an unknown user. Staring at the phone, Emily debated whether or not to read it as her teacher started class and ultimately she gave in. There was no point in torturing herself about wondering. It was better to know what the monster had decided to taunt her with this time around.
Spencer and Emily sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes the damage. --A
There was a rushing in her ears and Emily almost thought she would pass out. The text messages were always ridiculous when you looked how they were worded but the threat was there all the same and Emily knew all too well that A went through with their threats. She just didn't know what this one meant for her and Spencer. Other than it wasn't anything good.
------
It took all of Emily's effort to concentrate on practice and her performance rather than obsessing over Spencer and the text message from A. Somehow she managed to do it but by the time it was time for them to leave, she was thoroughly exhausted and all she wanted to do was curl up with Spencer and have their talk. She was dressed and sitting on the bench, pulling on her shoes, and trying her best not to look like she was in a massive rush to get out of there and probably failing.
Emily saw Paige's shoes before she heard her speak. "Congratulations," said Paige and Emily looked up, taking in her expression that seemed laced with hurt and a little bit of jealousy and sadness. Emily looked around the locker room at their teammates, surprised that Paige was even talking to her with them around. Paige wore a small and pained smile. "For your new time record," she supplied.
"Oh, right," said Emily, blinking at Paige. She had been so distracted with Spencer and A that the fact she set a new record for the butterfly stroke had slipped her mind. Standing up and slinging her duffle bag over her shoulder, she said, "Thanks." She paused, considering saying something else but she thought better of it, knowing that Paige wouldn't appreciate it with all these people around. "I have to go," Emily said, jerking her thumb at the door.
"I'll come with you," said Paige, still smiling, and making Emily feel strangely uneasy as she observed it. This was all too nice and normal and neat for her life and she wondered when the other shoe was going to drop. In this case, it was the moment they left the locker room and were alone except for Spencer standing in the distance, at the entrance of the gym. Even though she was a good length away, Emily could swear she saw Spencer's eyes narrow at the sight of Paige. In the meantime, Paige tilted her head to one side, wearing a playful smirk as she said, "You and the Student Council President, huh?"
"She's not the Student Council President," said Emily, though she smiled at Paige's joke. She did think the role perfectly suited Spencer and she wouldn't be surprised if Spencer ended up running for the position eventually. It would look good on her ever improving resume for the myriad of ivy league schools she was sure Spencer was aiming for. "But yeah, me and her."
"That's new," said Paige in an attempt to be casual.
"Yesterday new," said Emily, unconsciously echoing Spencer's words from this morning. "Paige," she said with a slight frown and a good deal of concern. "What is this about? I thought we were--"
"We are," Paige interrupted, clearly not wanting to speak about the sudden and preemptive end to their romance on Emily's part. "I just..." She stopped abruptly and her jaw clenched. When she looked back at Emily there was a quiet sort of desperation in her gaze as she asked, "Is she good to you?"
"Spencer?" Emily had the urge to laugh at this question because the idea of Spencer being anything else was comical. Then Paige nodded solemnly and she held the impulse back. It would be downright mean to laugh and Emily wasn't the type to look for ways to hurt another person. That wasn't in her nature. "Yes," said Emily, looking over at Spencer and noticing how she was getting closer and closer to where Emily stood with Paige as time passed. A soft smile formed and she continued, "She's good to me." Focusing on Paige, she added quietly, "Spencer has always tried to protect me."
"She's out then," said Paige and the words seemed to be forced from her. Like they had a bitter taste to them. "Her folks know."
This remark caused Emily to pause just because she didn't have the answer to that and Spencer's family was so different than her own. She had a hard time telling her parents due to their military and Christian background but Spencer didn't have any of those things working against her. But she did have a family that didn't seem to pay attention to her unless she was in trouble with the law or doing something they perceived as damaging their family's reputation. Whether or not Spencer being bisexual and dating another girl was among those things, Emily had no idea. She did know that she didn't much like Spencer's family. While she had her own issues with her parents, her mother in particular, she knew without a doubt that they loved her unconditionally and she didn't think Spencer felt that way with her own parents. Emily suspected love wasn't something given freely in the Hastings household. It was something that you earned with good grades, awards, and success at whatever task you were assigned.
It seemed to Emily that Spencer's parents viewed her as nothing more than a pawn in their little games. A fun toy they could manipulate and control and it always bothered Emily, the amount of pressure they put on her win, and she wondered at times how Spencer didn't go crazy over it. Maybe it was true what Spencer said, that she was so used to it that it was normal to her, but Emily couldn't understand how that much emphasis on success, making any small failure feel like the end of the world, was healthy.
"Yeah," said Emily, smiling as she told the lie, sure that even if it wasn't the truth it would be soon. Spencer might keep secrets from her family but she couldn't see their relationship as one of them. Spencer wouldn't do that to her. "She's out."
"I don't know why I asked that," Paige muttered, looking angry with herself. "I saw you both in the hallway this morning."
"I know," Emily murmured, reaching for Paige's hand and touching it briefly. Pulling away when Paige looked at her. "I'm sorry, Paige. I didn't want to hurt you but--"
"You can't deal, I get it," Paige cut Emily off, shaking her head, a self-deprecating look on her face. "I totally understand. I'd probably feel the same if I was you. I don't even know why I'm asking you all this. It's not like I have any right."
"You do if you want to be my friend," said Emily gently, offering a smile when Paige looked at her.
The stunned look Paige had after Emily said this almost made her sad. She had no idea what Paige thought of her after their break up, if you could even call it that as they weren't in much of a relationship at the time, but she was starting to suspect that Paige thought she might have a minor vindictive streak about it. Which was the furthest thing from the truth.
"I think I'd like that," said Paige, smiling at Emily hesitantly. Her eyes darted to Spencer and she said, "But I doubt she'll be happy to hear about it."
"Spencer?" Emily asked and when Paige gave a nervous smile, Emily laughed. "Are you worried about her or something?"
"She's not fun to deal with when she's mad," said Paige simply.
Emily almost asked how Paige knew what Spencer was like when she got angry then she recalled letting it slip about the near drowning in the pool thanks to Paige's ire and the look of fury on Spencer's face. She told her not to do anything but of course that request wouldn't be obeyed, not with a situation like that. It was too serious for Spencer to overlook. Sighing and looking over at Spencer who was just a few feet away, Emily wondered how long she had been looking out for her. Probably since the first day they had become friends, if she was perfectly honest. Turning back to Paige, she said, "I better get going. I've kept her waiting too long."
"Yeah," said Paige, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "I'm happy for you, Emily. Really."
"Thanks," said Emily kindly, squeezing Paige's hand briefly, before turning on her heel and walking over to Spencer who had a scowl on her face that she could see better with every step closer she got to her. "Your face is going to freeze that way," Emily teased.
"What?" Spencer frowned, her gaze still fixated on Paige, and if looks could kill Emily would've been very worried for Paige. Sighing at Spencer's distraction, Emily cupped Spencer's face in her hands, kissing her soundly when Spencer finally looked her way. When they parted Spencer had a befuddled look on her features. "What was that for?"
"Just trying to get your attention," said Emily impishly, hooking her arm in Spencer's and leading them out of the gym.
"Well, you have it," Spencer drawled, reaching for Emily's hand and intwining their fingers. She was silent for a moment then she studied Emily with a serious look as she asked, "What were you and Paige talking about?"
"You, me, us, her," said Emily flippantly.
"Okay," said Spencer slowly, her voice echoing with sardonic humor. "You're big up with the pronoun love but care to elaborate with some verbs or maybe even a few nouns?"
"She wanted to know if we were going out," said Emily, watching as Spencer stepped ahead to open the gym door for Emily.
"And what did you tell her?" asked Spencer when Emily stopped in front of her.
"I told her we are," Emily replied and once again, the undefined nature of their relationship was making her nervous. She just wanted to go to her house or Spencer's and talk so they could work all of this out. After what happened with Maya and Paige she disliked not knowing exactly where she stood with Spencer. She thought she knew but she would much rather hear it. Which was probably why she decided that she didn't want to wait anymore and screwing up her courage, Emily asked, "We are, aren't we?"
"We are if that's what you want," said Spencer softly, a cautious look on her features.
"I want," affirmed Emily, swallowing hard and her heart beating rapidly.
Before Emily could question Spencer about her feelings, Spencer moved forward, pushing them past the gym and letting the door slam shut behind them. "I'm ecstatic we feel the same," she breathed, her lips centimeters from Emily's, and when Spencer kissed her she could feel the smile on both of their faces. Emily sighed, tangling her fingers in Spencer's hair, grinning when they separated.
There was more that they had to talk about, Emily knew that, but she couldn't help being hopeful about the future. Maya was the last person she genuinely believed wanted her in a romantic way and that ended with her being sent to juvie camp and eventually not taking Emily's calls anymore. She didn't do much better with Paige but Spencer was different. Spencer wanted to go out with her, she just said as much, and even though they hadn't discussed it Emily couldn't see Spencer hiding this from her family. All of this made Emily entirely optimistic and cheerful as they walked towards the parking lot and their cars.
------
"You're pacing," Spencer noted, she was perched on Emily's bed and watching her with keen eyes.
"What?" said Emily as she turned to face Spencer. They ended up at her house, her mother wasn't home from work, and Emily purposefully left the door to her room open so she could hear when she arrived. There was a lot to talk about and Emily wanted to talk but she couldn't stop obsessing over the text message from A, worrying what it meant for them. Apparently that worry had resulted in unconscious pacing that she didn't notice until Spencer pointed it out. "Sorry," she said sheepishly.
"Come here," said Spencer, extending her arms to Emily and smiling when Emily took her hands. Pulling Emily towards her until they were both sitting on the bed, she wore a concerned expression. "What's the matter? Is it about us?"
"No!" said Emily quickly, only to frown as she realized that, yes, it was about them. Spencer was looking at her steadily, quiet and encouraging, and Emily retrieved her cell phone, handing it to her. "I got this after you left me at Chem class."
After reading the text, Spencer handed the phone to Emily and said dryly, "At least she didn't call me Miss Muffet and talk about my tuffet." When Emily didn't laugh or even crack a smile, she scooted forward. "Em, it's going to be all right. A's just trying to spook us."
"Then it's working," said Emily, thoroughly exasperated. "This is a threat, Spencer!" Emily exclaimed, waving her phone about, almost like it was a weapon and Spencer leaned back, barely escaping accidentally getting hit. "Do you remember what A did to Hanna?"
"This isn't the same," Spencer reassured, gently easing the iron grip that Emily had on her phone and placing it on the nearby nightstand. "The only reason that A went after Hanna was because they thought she saw them. This is just A trying to control us by knowing our secrets exactly like Ali did but that doesn't even matter because I don't want to keep us a secret. Do you?"
"Of course not," said Emily, still frustrated and worried.
"Then what does A have?" reasoned Spencer. "If we tell our parents we're together then they don't have any secret to lord over us anymore. Anyway," she muttered, tossing a disgusted look at the phone as if directed at the person who sent the text. "Making us miserable is A's little hobby and I don't feel inclined to indulge them any further." She turned back to Emily and smiled. "Especially when I rather be busy being happy with you."
She didn't know how Spencer had managed it but Emily was already feeling better about everything. Shaking her head and smiling sweetly, she looked at Spencer and said, "Sometimes it's eerie how much sense you make."
"Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end," said Spencer, grinning and moving to capture Emily's lips in a slow kiss.
"Is that Sun Tzu again?" Emily asked in between kisses, shivering as Spencer's hands slipped under her shirt, resting on the small of her back and tracing a light pattern over her skin.
"Mr. Spock," Spencer drawled, sounding extraordinarily pleased with herself.
"You really are scary," laughed Emily as she tugged Spencer closer, moving in for another kiss.
"I'm not scary," said Spencer in something of a pout, adjusting herself so she hovered over Emily, halfway sitting in her lap.
"Yes, you are," Emily smiled fondly as she placed her hands on Spencer's hips. She soon urged Spencer to sit down, relishing in the warmth of Spencer's body pressing against her own. Still smiling, Emily murmured, "But I like that about you."
Spencer responded by kissing Emily fervently, shifting on top of her lap as her tongue sought gentle entrance. Emily welcomed her, opening her mouth, and sighing when the kiss deepened. Kissing Spencer was a unique and wonderful experience, unlike anyone else, even Maya. The way that Spencer kissed was so very passionate and detailed, exploring every inch of Emily and taking her in. There was a loving devotion and care in it, a certain tenderness and dedication, learning everything that excited and satisfied Emily. Something she definitely felt as Spencer pulled away, sucking on Emily's bottom lip and smiling softly as Emily panted lightly.
"I'm glad you like me," Spencer said in a whisper, resting her head on Emily's shoulder as she spoke. "Thrilled, even."
"Ecstatic," offered Emily, recalling Spencer's response to the question of them dating.
"Definitely ecstatic," said Spencer humorously, kissing Emily's neck, and Emily smiled as she felt Spencer nuzzling closer.
Wrapping her arms around Spencer, holding her close enough that she could feel their breathing moving in sync, Emily said, "When did you know you liked me?" She paused only to add a bit anxiously for clarification, "In a kissing way." Emily studied Spencer out of the corner of her eye and she saw the skin around her neck redden, a signal of embarrassment that Emily hadn't noticed before all of this that now filled her with a wave of affection for Spencer. "You don't have to tell me if--"
"No," said Spencer quickly, lifting her head and looking at Emily with a serious gaze. She looked away for a moment only to face Emily with a determined expression as she reached out to cup Emily's face in her hands, her fingers faintly caressing her skin. "I want to." Her face screwed up into a look of utter distaste and she said, "I suppose it started when I found out about you and Paige. Despite the fact you told us it was over, I started watching you when Paige would appear, and I'd see you get depressed and I hated it. I got so angry at you for caring about Paige and one day Toby asked me about it and everything just came out." Spencer chuckled and had a wry look on her face. "Toby's a really good listener and he asks all the right questions so it didn't take long to grasp that I wasn't actually angry. I was pathetically jealous over a nonexistent relationship just because I wanted you to look at me that way."
"Spence," said Emily in a whisper.
"That's not all of it though," said Spencer, studying the lock of Emily's hair in her hands, that she was forming into a tiny braid. "Ever since we all became friends, I've always felt more protective of you than the others. At first, it was because of Alison and seeing how everything was playing out with the two of you... I hated her for that. I tried to stop her but stopping Ali, well," Spencer snorted and continued to braid Emily's hair. "That failed spectacularly. Then you almost moved away and it wasn't the same as when Aria left. It sucked when she left, I was upset, but with you I was always working out these crazy plans to keep you here even if I never said so." The braid now finished, she looked at Emily with a sardonic expression. "I suppose I always liked you and I never realized it." Rolling her eyes, Spencer stared out the window and scoffed, "Which makes this a monumentally stupid confession."
"No it doesn't," said Emily firmly, holding Spencer's face in her hands, and forcing Spencer to look at her. "Nobody has ever said anything like to me before, Spencer. Nobody..." Emily stopped to swallow hard before continuing, "Nobody has ever cared that much about me and I don't think there's anything monumentally stupid about that. I'm so happy you figured out you liked me because I like you too, so much, more than anybody I've ever been with. I mean, I know this is new, like you said, but it just feels right, you know?"
"Yeah," Spencer said with a smile. "I know."
Laughing happily, Emily kissed Spencer, her hands firm on Spencer's hips and pulling her even closer, so there wasn't a breath between them. When they separated, she breathed, "This is so perfect I'm worried." When Spencer frowned, she explained, "I've got pretty bad luck in relationships. None of them have exactly gone well and I don't want that to happen with us."
"I don't have the best track record either, Em," said Spencer wryly, toying with Emily's braid. "It's okay though," she murmured. "I understand what you're saying. What we have is different. At least, it feels different."
"You're right," Emily agreed, beaming at Spencer and hugging her tight. She laughed as they started to rock from side to side, eventually tumbling over so they lay on the bed, opposite one another. Emily reached out, grinning as she adjusted the Sherlock Holmes hat on Spencer's head. "It does feel different. Good different," she added happily. "Fantastic different."
"Splendiferous different," drawled Spencer, chuckling when Emily blinked at this.
Wearing a playful scowl, Emily moved forward and said, "I wish you'd stop using SAT words."
"But they're so big," Spencer teased, only to be silenced by Emily's lips on her own. Their kisses had grown more bold with each passing one and this was no exception. There was no slow build up, no hesitation, it was desire and it was excitement and Spencer slipped her arm underneath Emily, pulling her closer and moaning when Emily's hand cupped her breast. Who knows how much further they would've gone if they didn't hear the slam of the front door closing. They parted with a gasp and remained lying across from each other. Emily started to move away, not wanting her mother to see too much before she got to talk with her but Spencer held onto her, keeping her in place. "Would you go somewhere with me tomorrow?" asked Spencer.
"Yes," said Emily immediately, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of their first official date. Curiosity getting the best of her, she immediately asked, "Where?"
Chuckling and moving in for a brief kiss before sliding off the bed, Spencer replied, "It's a surprise."
Before Emily could pout and prod Spencer for a real answer, her mother poked her head into the room, smiling when she saw both girls. "Spencer," she greeted. "Are you staying for dinner?"
"Not today, Mrs. Fields," said Spencer with a smile. "I should go home. I have to talk to my parents."
"Nothing serious, I hope," said Pam, looking concerned, and it occurred to Emily that it was possible that her mother liked Spencer the best out of all her friends. It probably had to do with her flawless GPA and immaculate manners.
"Just the reverse, I get to tell them something good for once," Spencer replied, darting a playful look at Emily who blushed. She reached for Emily's hand, squeezing it gently and ducking her head close as she murmured, "I'll let you know how it goes."
"Okay," said Emily softly, still blushing, and nodding her head.
Spencer offered a brilliant smile, standing up in a smooth motion, and giving Pam a polite nod. "Thanks again, Mrs. Fields," she said and as she walked behind Pam, well out of her line of vision, she winked at Emily then walked down the stairs.
"Bye Spence," Emily called, unable to help herself, just wanting to say something as the other girl left.
"Goodbye, my dear Emily!" Spencer responded airily.
Hearing the laughter in Spencer's voice, Emily grinned and flopped onto her back. There was silence between Emily and Pam until Emily looked at her mother who had a small frown on her face. As if trying to understand a puzzle that was suddenly put in front of her. Not yet ready to tell her mother about her newfound relationship with Spencer, she pushed herself up on her elbow and asked, "What are we having for dinner?"
Snapping out of her musing, Pam lifted an eyebrow and said, "You don't have any suggestions?"
"Do we have any chorizo left over?" questioned Emily.
"Hm," Pam gave noncommittal murmur and studied her daughter humorously. "If we do I suppose you'll want it with scrambled eggs?"
"Please," said Emily, looking at her mother hopefully, suddenly really wanting to have one of her favorite childhood meals.
"I think I can arrange that," said Pam, smiling at Emily and walking towards the kitchen.
An hour and a half later, Emily was in the middle of finishing her math homework when her cell phone buzzed and she reached for it, her heart racing. An immediate smile formed on her features when she saw Spencer's name along with her message.
Still out at dinner. I told them and they were typically blase. I think they're happiest that you never dated Melissa. Now my dad wants me to volunteer at a GLBT youth center he heard about because it will look good on applications.
More than a bit stunned at the total lack of reaction, Emily texted back quickly: They really didn't care?
Just a few moments later, Spencer responded with: My mother, en quote, "She's an attractive girl. You clearly have decent taste in women." Pretty sure they don't care, Em. Then again, I didn't expect them to.
Once she got past her stunned feeling, she started to feel bad for Spencer, thinking that her family's attitude was another symptom of their overall tendency to ignore her, and Emily didn't know how to reply. Then she got another text from Spencer, telling Emily she had to go back to the dinner and play the high and low game, which to this day Emily still didn't understand, and saying she couldn't wait for tomorrow. She still refused to tell Emily where they were going but said it would be something Emily would enjoy.
Replying that she couldn't wait for tomorrow, Emily shut her phone with a sigh. It was true that Spencer had it easier than her in a lot of ways. Certainly she was sure Spencer didn't stress over telling her family she was bisexual and dating Emily, not at all like Emily who was freaking out about telling her mother about Spencer, but she didn't think that was really a good thing. She worried because she knew her mother cared and maybe her mother was still struggling with her being gay but Emily knew she loved her. That she would always love her, no matter what, and Emily didn't think Spencer knew that. Not from the way she stressed out over the idea of a bad grade and the possibility of not making it onto the team when she tried out for sports.
Emily wondered if Spencer had ever known for certain that someone loved her, no matter what happened. Their relationship was barely in its infancy but some part of Emily wanted to be that person for Spencer. To be the one she didn't get any pressure from, that she could simply be herself with, and not worry about having to living up to some impossibly high standard.
------
On Saturday, Spencer arrived promptly at noon wearing a black and white checkered dress, complete with frills at the bottom, and a collar that was buttoned at the top. Emily had to admit that the dress looked great on her but what caused her to grin the moment she saw Spencer was the fact she also had on a red hoodie and was carrying a picnic basket. More and more, she thought that Spencer and her eclectic wardrobe often followed a strange unconscious pattern. Like she wore clothing to fit whatever was going on for the day, which was probably why she looked like a flapper from the 1920s when they read the Great Gatsby.
Unable to help herself, Emily immediately darted forward, pulling the hood up and placing it on Spencer's head. Her grin growing wider, Emily remarked, "Now you really look the part." Spencer appeared baffled, apparently unaware of her coordinated clothing choice, but before she could ask Emily about it, Emily turned around and called into the house, "Mom! I'm going!"
"Have fun!" Pam responded and with that, Emily shut the door, and hooked her arm with Spencer's.
"So," said Emily playfully as they walked to Spencer's car. "Where are we going on a picnic?"
"The park, if that's all right with you," said Spencer, shifting the basket on her arm and opening Emily's car door for her. When Emily climbed inside, she put the basket on the back seat. Emily wanted to ask Spencer why she even took it out of the car in the first place but ultimately she decided the image of Spencer holding the basket and wearing the red hoodie was adorable enough she didn't care. So much that she was slightly disappointed when Spencer pulled the hood down when she started the car.
"The park sounds perfect," said Emily with a smile, pushing the memories of Paige and their trip to the park from her mind. This was completely different, wasn't it? Spencer clearly meant for this to be a date, she wasn't hiding anything about it and unlike Paige, she'd already made a concentrated and very public effort to display her affection for Emily. Despite that, she did find it odd to be going on yet another picnic date in the park. She just hoped this one ended better.
After living in Rosewood for most of her life, Emily developed the theory that it only took ten minutes to get anywhere in the town. She wasn't let down when they arrived at the park just before the ten minute mark. Spencer exited the car with ease and before Emily could reach for the door handle, it was opened for her and Spencer was wearing a charming little smile. Returning the smile as she got out of the car, Emily took the picnic basket from Spencer, holding it in one hand and Spencer's right hand in the other.
They wandered through the park until they found the perfect spot just past the path through the woods, hidden underneath a tree and next to the small lake. It was isolated enough they shouldn't be bothered but was close enough to civilization that Emily didn't have the smallest A related worry about eating there. Setting the picnic basket down, Emily opened it and found a blanket and she grinned as she looked up at Spencer. "You thought of everything, didn't you?" she said fondly.
"Always be prepared," said Spencer, holding up a can of insect repellant along with a spray created to ward off ants.
"I know that one, it's the Boy Scouts," said Emily, happy she finally recognized one of Spencer's quotes.
"Very good," Spencer drawled, her voice lowering in register, and she dipped down to capture Emily's lips in a slow and sweet kiss. Moments after they parted, she stood up and wore a face of utmost concentration as she started to spray an insect repelling barrier around the area where they were sitting. Emily watched with amusement as she finished laying out the blanket and sat down.
"All done?" asked Emily humorously when Spencer finished her insect killing ritual after three minutes of spraying. Spencer was wiping her hands on a handkerchief she had in the pocket of her hoodie and she frowned at Emily's comment. Laughing at this and tugging at the hem of Spencer's dress, she pulled her down until they were both sitting on the blanket. "I'm sorry," Emily consoled, smiling affectionately and cupping Spencer's face in her hands. "Thank you so much for destroying our insect enemies."
Spencer leaned into Emily's kiss, returning it with interest, and by the time they parted she was smiling from ear to ear and there was a gleam in her eyes. "Ants are a known picnic date ruiner," said Spencer in a matter of fact tone. "I didn't want to risk it."
Laughing and shaking her head, Emily watched with interest as Spencer began to unpack the basket. She produced the glasses, plates, and utensils then a bottle of sparkling white grape juice and several containers filled with food. There were three choices of spreadable cheeses, croissants, grilled chicken, and miniature strawberry shortcakes that were topped with whipped cream.
Ripping apart one of the croissants easily, Spencer covered it in cheese and offered it to Emily. "Try it," she encouraged. "I think you'll like it." Emily blinked at the croissant before opening her mouth and taking a bite. Murmuring her approval, she took the croissant from Spencer, grinning when Spencer wiped a crumb from the corner of her mouth.
"Good," complimented Emily and she held back the urge to lick Spencer's thumb as it moved away. Reaching for the chicken and noticing the combination of curiosity and slight anxiety Spencer showed, something suddenly occurred to Emily. "Spencer," she said carefully. "Did you make this?"
"The chicken and the strawberry shortcake," said Spencer and she frowned as she focused on the croissants. "I still haven't gotten the hang of croissants. I think something about French food hates me. I've yet to make a successful souffle."
"You were trying to make souffles for a picnic," said Emily in disbelief.
"No, not for this, just in general," said Spencer. Seeing the obvious question on Emily's face, Spencer continued, "I've done all the additional projects that are allowed at school for extra credit and since I'm not playing field hockey, I've had some spare time on my hands. So I thought I would try and teach myself some more complex dishes. Unfortunately, not all of them worked out. I even tried to recreate your mother's paella and it was disastrous. I think she would've cried if she saw it."
Emily almost asked why Spencer felt the sudden need to teach herself these things but she realized that was just who Spencer was. There was a reason that her room was filled with books on a hundred different subjects and she was trying to learn three languages all at once. Free time wasn't really a concept that Spencer was familiar with and even back in junior high she was always busy with multiple activities and work that she was either placed in by her parents or volunteered for herself.
"Have you spoken to her?" Spencer asked, interrupting Emily's thoughts, and she stared blankly at Spencer who formed a crooked grin at her expression. "About us," she supplied teasingly.
"Not yet," said Emily and she started to feel guilty until she saw Spencer's sympathetic look.
"You don't have to force yourself," said Spencer, scooting closer to Emily and holding her hand. She traced her thumb over the pads of Emily's fingers and murmured, "Tell her when you're ready." Spencer looked up at Emily and smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Yeah," Emily breathed, a swell of happiness consuming her as she acknowledged this. It wasn't like with Maya or Paige, the insistence to come out then the distance until she did and then the need to keep silent. Spencer wanted her to tell her mother about them but she wouldn't break up with her over it or pressure her about it. She would still be there, like she had always been. "Thanks," she said quietly, peering up at Spencer. "For understanding."
"No problem," Spencer replied, offering Emily a piece of chicken.
Accepting the food, Emily opened her mouth and chewed as she moved closer to Spencer, leaning against her as Spencer wrapped an arm around her waist. They were comfortably resting against the tree and Spencer was reaching for another piece of chicken when a series of excited barks sounded and they were confronted with the furry form of a beagle wanting to eat the chicken in Spencer's hand. Its owner was chasing after it, apologizing as they ran up, but Spencer didn't seem the least worried. Gently pushing the dog off her lap and petting its head as she asked the owner if she could give it some chicken. Getting permission, Spencer fed the dog and rubbed behind its ears, smiling up at the young man who apologized profusely and showed the leash with the collar still attached. After a few moments of working together, Spencer holding the dog who was named Daisy, while her owner, Jack, put the collar back on, the dog was on her way. Only after enjoying some more chicken and some pets from Spencer and Emily.
"From the ages of five to nine, I asked for a dog every time my birthday arrived," said Spencer ruefully. "Christmas too. And every year my parents explained with a little more force that dogs weren't suitable for our house because they made a mess and we didn't have time to take care of it. Disappointed but not defeated, I started to ask for a cat and I was given the same reasons. So then I moved onto things like hamsters and guinea pigs and was told they smelled and bit you. Birds were too loud and fish..." Spencer's words faded and she tilted her head to one side as she considered it. "I never asked for any fish. They're boring pets, don't you think? You can't even play with them. But," she said proudly, holding up an index finger. "I did start riding lessons when I was ten because my father thought it would be a good in at the club to have an equestrian daughter. However, my pleas for a pony were soundly ignored."
"We used to have a fat tabby cat called Garfield," revealed Emily, resting her head on Spencer's shoulder as she reached for her hand. Running her fingertips over Spencer's palm, she said, "He was my mom's and she adored him. My dad started to get allergies because of him but my mom refused to get rid of him. After that, it was like Garfield knew my dad was miserable around him. He'd always sleep on his pillow on the bed and would follow him around the house, making these pathetic howls to get my dad to pet him and when my dad ignored him my mom would call him mean. I was only eight but I totally thought that cat was an evil genius to have my mom always on his side. She was really sad when he died and we never got another pet to replace him."
"In the back of my head, ever since I was young, I've wanted to become a vet," said Spencer and when Emily looked at her with surprise, she chuckled. "I know, right? It doesn't suit me does it? That's why I've kept that particular morsel a closely guarded secret. Not even Ali knew about that one and lord help me if my parents ever found out I long for such a lowly occupation."
"What's lowly about being a vet?" demanded Emily, irrationally angry at Spencer's parents theoretically not approving of her job.
Shrugging her shoulders now that Emily wasn't resting on them anymore, Spencer looked at the lake and said, "They're already disappointed about my having zero interest in the law. Watching my parents though, seeing how they are with the partners at their law firms and their clients, I don't want that. Logically, I know they help people, my mother has certainly helped me enough lately on that end but it doesn't feel like that most of the time. It seems more about impressing people than helping them and I rather not continue that trend as an adult since I've had more than enough of that involving my own family."
"Then be a vet if that's what you want," Emily insisted and Spencer turned to her, a wry smile tugging on her lips.
"That's the thing, Em," said Spencer kindly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "I don't know if it's what I really want or if it's just something stuck in the part of my brain that's still five years old, fascinated with the idea of it because my parents never let me have any pets. Besides, there's nothing wrong with settling for treating humans and trying for med school. Doing that will keep my parents pacified over the lack of lawyering."
"I don't think it's right," said Emily stubbornly, trying to figure out some way to get Spencer to reconsider. There was something horribly wrong about the idea of Spencer completely dismissing a perfectly valid career choice just to make her family happy.
"You're sweet," Spencer chuckled, caressing Emily's cheek, and kissing her tenderly. It was just a soft touch of their lips, a quiet affirmation of feeling and when she pulled back, Spencer rested her forehead against Emily's. "Thank you for caring."
Her mind still working a mile a minute, Emily burst out, "You should volunteer!"
"I do," said Spencer slowly, frowning at Emily and looking slightly puzzled. "I help organize those food drives for the homeless shelter and there's the work I do with the children's hospital... and now my dad wants me to do that gay and lesbian youth center thing."
"No, I mean, yes, you do volunteer but you should volunteer at the Humane Society," said Emily quickly. Spencer gave her an affectionate but almost frustrated look and Emily added, "I don't think you should dismiss becoming a vet until you know for sure it's a whim. What if you really like it and you're good at it? Of course," Emily remarked sardonically, "you're good at almost everything."
"Almost everything?" echoed Spencer with a drawl, raising an eyebrow. "Now that sounds like a challenge. What am I bad at?"
"Well," said Emily cautiously, feigning deep thought as she tapped her chin with her finger while Spencer studied her with an amused expression. "I wouldn't say you were bad necessarily but you could use more practice when it comes to kissing."
"Oh really?" Spencer drew out, forming a wicked grin and clutching Emily's shirt in her hand, pulling her forward.
"Really," said Emily solemnly as she sat on Spencer's lap, trying to fight a grin as Spencer put her hands on Emily's hips and tugged her closer. "You need lots and lots of practice."
"Lots and lots," Spencer echoed again, appearing supremely thoughtful and sliding her hands underneath Emily's shirt to rest on the small of her back. "If I need that much help I should probably start right away, shouldn't I?"
"Probably," said Emily breathlessly and it felt like her body was humming in anticipation.
Just when Emily was starting to get irritated and considered making a move herself, Spencer stretched up and kissed her slow and sweet. Emily groaned and opened her mouth, encouraging Spencer and as they continued to kiss, she was quite proud of her little joke because the result was simply fantastic. Every time she kissed Spencer it was better than the time before and Emily was sure she could kiss Spencer forever and never grow tired of it. Soon their kisses became more frantic and involved, sucking on each other's tongues and Emily was consumed with a strange impulse, wanting to taste and touch more of Spencer than was appropriate in a public venue. Which was why with great difficulty, she pulled away and breathing heavily, she leaned against Spencer.
"That was..." Emily's voice faded as she was unable to find the appropriate words.
"Yeah," Spencer agreed, knowing exactly what Emily meant. She chuckled as she kissed Emily's cheek and murmured in her ear, her voice low and raspy but filled with good humor, "You owe me a new pair of Nina Ricci panties."
"Spencer!" shouted Emily, turning beet red and hitting Spencer on the shoulder when she started laughing.
Despite herself, Emily was charmed by the boisterous sound of Spencer's laughter and the wide smile on her features. Although it didn't do anything to lessen her embarrassment or the residual effect of being turned on by Spencer admitting Emily made her wet. She almost asked if she meant it but looking at Spencer underneath her eyelashes, she could see it was the truth from the lidded set of Spencer's eyes and the look of desire that still resided there.
"I'm sorry," said Spencer apologetically, pulling a pouting Emily closer and kissing her other cheek, "but they were expensive."
Rolling her eyes and huffing, Emily unbuttoned and buttoned the collar to Spencer's dress, studying it as she said, "How expensive?"
"145 dollars," Spencer said and Emily's eyes bugged out.
"Why do your panties cost that much?" asked Emily with disbelief. "Are they gold plated?"
"They're not a chastity belt," Spencer chuckled and she shrugged. "I don't know how they decide on price. Is it the design? Or the lace? Or the fact they're immensely pretty, especially when I have them on? I just know I like them and now they're ruined."
Scoffing at this, Emily retorted, "Buy some Oxiclean."
"Harsh," accused Spencer mournfully, pressing a hand over her heart. "You're merciless. It wounds my delicate sensibilities and here I was, considering giving them to you as a trophy so you might keep this day forever in your heart."
"You're such a perv," Emily laughed, shaking her head and wearing a fond expression.
"It's a deep and dark secret of mine," said Spencer nonchalantly. "Don't tell Aria. She'll back out of the sleepover next week." There was the sound of distant barks and Spencer shifted to look around Emily and she frowned as she said, "It looks like Daisy slipped her collar again. Jack should really invest in a good harness for her."
Recalling the previous line of discussion, Emily questioned seriously, "Will you think about volunteering at the Humane Society?"
"No," said Spencer. Emily started to protest but Spencer continued, "There's nothing to think about. I'll do it."
"Oh," Emily murmured as a bright smile lit her features. "Good."
"Very good," drawled Spencer, putting her hands on Emily's hips and pulling her closer. "So good I deserve a kiss."
"I don't kiss panty ruiners," remarked Emily, recalling Spencer's earlier comment about ants.
"This is blatant discrimination!" exclaimed Spencer, faking outrage. "And entirely unfair as you're responsible for me ruining them."
"I'm not a fair person," said Emily playfully and she kept her up her uncaring facade until Spencer gave her exaggerated puppy dog eyes and she burst into laughter. "Aww," she murmured, running the back of her fingers over Spencer's cheek. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry enough I get a kiss?" pursued Spencer with interest.
"I'll always be that sorry," Emily replied, smiling and finally kissing Spencer, reminding herself as she did they were in public.
She thought that Spencer must be doing the same because these kisses were soft and sweet and while there was passion it was hiding just underneath surface, not ready to boil over like earlier. Emily sighed happily as they continued to kiss, pleased to be on a wonderful first date, and relieved at their natural progression from friends to girlfriends. Assured of her new place in Spencer's life.
Onto Part Two
SERIES: Pretty Little Liars
AUTHOR: Dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
GTALK: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. Spencer/Emily. Sequel to A Romantic Study.
SUMMARY: Everything that Spencer Hastings knew about, including romantic relationships, started with simple observations.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my amusement over Hanna's one liners.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Adding again to the tiny well of Pretty Little Liars femslash. Please folks, won't you join me? The lack of fic is sad and look at Spencer, she's wearing a tie just for you. lol.
Simple Observations
By: Dreiser
Part One
As soon as Emily sat down to lunch she was flanked by Hanna and Aria and met with a barrage of questions that reminded her of Spencer's joke about the Spanish Inquisition earlier that morning. She was alone thanks to Spencer's quandary about whether to have the safe choice of a salad or risk the cafeteria's version of lasagna.
If it was anyone other than her two best friends, Emily might have felt overwhelmed by all of this, but since it was Hanna and Aria, their faces brimming with such obvious happiness for her and excitement in their voices, all she could do was laugh. Easy and carefree, it bubbled up in her throat, filling her with delight. Hanna's eyes twinkled at her reaction while Aria pouted, clearly wanting her answers as soon as possible. In the meantime, Spencer had arrived, apparently deciding to take a chance and go with the lasagna.
Hanna was all too happy to be accommodating, scooting over so Spencer could sit next to Emily on the couch located in the lounge portion of the cafeteria. Wearing a sardonic expression, Spencer looked to Emily. "On a scale of one to ten, how bad are they?"
"Six," said Emily with a grin. "Pretty bad but they could be worse."
"We are sitting here, you know," remarked Aria.
"Oh really? I didn't see you there," drawled Spencer, lifting up her fork and inspecting the lasagna with discerning eyes.
"A short joke, how original," Aria said, ignoring Spencer's chuckle, and Hanna's wide grin. Focusing her attention on Emily, she tugged on her sleeve and said, "You were going to tell us how you guys hooked up."
"The same way you did with Ezra," said Spencer dryly.
"It was in the bathroom?" asked Hanna innocently and Spencer released a snort of laughter at this.
"I'm officially ignoring you," announced Aria, staring Spencer down, and turning back to Emily once again. "Come on, Em, you have to tell us something. I mean, this sort of came out of nowhere, right?"
When neither of them replied immediately, Hanna gasped and exclaimed, "You've been doing it for months, haven't you!"
"What? No!" Spencer sputtered, her neck and face turning red as she protested.
Now recognizing this as a tell tale sign of embarrassment on Spencer's part, Emily smiled softly and touched Spencer's knee. She looked around her to face Hanna as she said, "Spencer told you the truth this morning. Yesterday was the first time we kissed."
"So are you gay now?" Hanna asked Spencer, her brow furrowing, a genuinely curious look on her features.
Without realizing it, Hanna landed on the one sore point Emily had found in all of this. Spencer's sexuality. They never went into Spencer's sudden interest in girls, her in particular, beyond the surface lesbian fantasy explanation which really wasn't anything if you considered they were talking about Spencer Hastings. Emily knew her friend well enough that she probably only said that to broach the subject of her interest in the first place. It was Spencer's interest that made her nervous though. As good as Spencer made her feel, far better than Alison and more than even Maya or Paige, Emily didn't know if she was just an experiment. Or maybe she was the exception to the straight rule and Spencer was only gay for her? Neither of which filled her with much confidence. In fact, both of those options made Emily feel just as lousy as going back into the closet in order to date someone. Like she was something to be ashamed of and Emily hated that feeling, she had enough of it when she was in love with Alison, and she didn't want to experience it anymore.
Of course, she couldn't imagine Spencer doing any of those things to her but Emily couldn't help feeling insecure. They hadn't discussed Spencer's attraction to her in any sort of depth and even though her love life wasn't exactly lengthy it was filled with a good deal of disappointment. Not to mention a lot of heartbreak and she thought being with Spencer, because they were friends and because Spencer was... well, Spencer, protective and sweet and kind, she would escape her doomed trend in relationships. She didn't want to waver in this belief but Emily couldn't help thinking a lot of that depended on how Spencer answered Hanna right now.
"No, Hanna," said Spencer, humor lacing her words. "I'm not gay now." Aware of Emily's negative response to hearing this, Spencer reached for hand, clasping it in a gentle hold. "There's this mysterious thing called bisexuality. You might have heard of it?"
Rolling her eyes, Hanna said peevishly, "Whatever. When did you know you were a mysterious bisexual?"
"I've suspected for awhile," Spencer revealed. Emily was doing her level best to listen to the conversation but it was hard with Spencer's fingertips lightly tracing a path over the palm of her hand. From the way that Spencer's lips quirked up slightly, Emily had her suspicions that Spencer was aware of the affect her touch was having.
"But you never told us," said Aria, frowning at Spencer.
Part of Emily could understand Aria's feelings. They did keep secrets but more and more it seemed those secrets were fading away and there were only a few things they didn't know about one another. Spencer not speaking about her sexuality was a pretty big secret to have. Especially in light of Emily coming out and Aria revealing her relationship with Ezra.
"I know," said Spencer and there was a tinge of guilt in her voice. "I honestly do apologize but I just didn't see the point of saying anything until there was a girl that I liked." She said the last part with a soft smile on her features while looking at Emily who could feel her heart beating faster at the sight.
"And now there's a girl," supplied Hanna, appearing oddly triumphant as she said this. Wiggling in her seat, she clapped her hands excitedly. "Come on, Spence, dish! When did you know that Emily was it?"
"It," Emily echoed in a humorous mutter. "That sounds flattering."
"Was it during one of our sleepovers? Or maybe when she was an obnoxious drunk?" Hanna pursued gleefully, ignoring Emily's complaint.
"I wasn't an obnoxious drunk!" objected Emily, not in the least pleased with that description.
"Hanna," Spencer said her name with a chuckle, an amused look on her features. "I really think I should tell Emily that first. Chronologically, it seems more appropriate to confess these things to your love interest before your friend."
"They're not going to tell you anything," said Aria, looking around Spencer and Emily, and facing Hanna. "Give it up."
"Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across," said Spencer wisely and when they all stared at her with blank expressions she heaved a sigh. "Sun Tzu, The Art of War? Am I the only one here with a summer reading list?"
"I don't know but it feels like we've been reading Grapes of Wrath forever. I wish Mr. Fitz would pick a different book," Emily grumped. Realizing who she was speaking about and in which company, she quickly added, "Not that there's something wrong with that!"
"Don't worry, I'm sick of the dust bowl too," said Aria wryly.
As she said this, the bell rang, signaling an end to lunch and they parted ways since Hanna and Aria were on the other side of the school with classes in World History and Spanish. Spencer and Emily headed to Emily's Chemistry class in comfortable silence but Emily soon found herself staring at Spencer's hand and considering it until, finally, she got irritated with herself and reached out for it. Spencer looked over at her with surprise that shifted into pleasure as Emily laced their fingers together. A smile curving on her lips, she swung their hands lightly in between them as they walked to their classes.
Coming to a stop outside the room, Emily was only vaguely aware of people going around her and into the class as Spencer leaned against the doorway. "Are you okay with this?" asked Spencer softly and she was just a breath away from Emily. "With us? I know it's so brand new that we're practically shiny but you probably have some opinion."
"I'm okay, we're okay," said Emily in reassuring tones. "I do want to talk about it though. Only..." Emily trailed off worriedly.
"What?" Spencer prompted, an encouraging look on her features.
"Only I have swim practice after school," said Emily and she wasn't sure why she was worried when she watched Spencer smile.
"I'll wait for you," said Spencer, her eyes shining affectionately.
"What about you? Are you okay with this?" asked Emily, suddenly anxious.
"I'm very okay," Spencer drawled, a crooked smile tugging at her lips. She wore a thoughtful expression as she tucked a lock of hair behind Emily's ear and murmured, "This is what I've wanted for awhile, Em."
"Lesbian fantasies," said Emily knowingly, forming a teasing smile.
Chuckling at this, Spencer replied, "Yes and my lesbian fantasies are decidedly more boring than most average teenage boys." Her eyes glanced up at a nearby clock and she turned back to Emily as she said, "I better get going." Moving forward smoothly, she kissed Emily lightly, her fingers trailing across Emily's cheek. "I'll see you after swim practice."
"All right," said Emily happily, the words coming out in an almost breathless manner. She would've been embarrassed but she was feeling too good about herself for that to happen. Especially when Spencer turned around after a few steps and beamed at her as she blew a kiss goodbye. Shaking her head, Emily walked into the classroom.
The moment she sat down her phone buzzed and she saw the notice of a text message from an unknown user. Staring at the phone, Emily debated whether or not to read it as her teacher started class and ultimately she gave in. There was no point in torturing herself about wondering. It was better to know what the monster had decided to taunt her with this time around.
Spencer and Emily sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes the damage. --A
There was a rushing in her ears and Emily almost thought she would pass out. The text messages were always ridiculous when you looked how they were worded but the threat was there all the same and Emily knew all too well that A went through with their threats. She just didn't know what this one meant for her and Spencer. Other than it wasn't anything good.
------
It took all of Emily's effort to concentrate on practice and her performance rather than obsessing over Spencer and the text message from A. Somehow she managed to do it but by the time it was time for them to leave, she was thoroughly exhausted and all she wanted to do was curl up with Spencer and have their talk. She was dressed and sitting on the bench, pulling on her shoes, and trying her best not to look like she was in a massive rush to get out of there and probably failing.
Emily saw Paige's shoes before she heard her speak. "Congratulations," said Paige and Emily looked up, taking in her expression that seemed laced with hurt and a little bit of jealousy and sadness. Emily looked around the locker room at their teammates, surprised that Paige was even talking to her with them around. Paige wore a small and pained smile. "For your new time record," she supplied.
"Oh, right," said Emily, blinking at Paige. She had been so distracted with Spencer and A that the fact she set a new record for the butterfly stroke had slipped her mind. Standing up and slinging her duffle bag over her shoulder, she said, "Thanks." She paused, considering saying something else but she thought better of it, knowing that Paige wouldn't appreciate it with all these people around. "I have to go," Emily said, jerking her thumb at the door.
"I'll come with you," said Paige, still smiling, and making Emily feel strangely uneasy as she observed it. This was all too nice and normal and neat for her life and she wondered when the other shoe was going to drop. In this case, it was the moment they left the locker room and were alone except for Spencer standing in the distance, at the entrance of the gym. Even though she was a good length away, Emily could swear she saw Spencer's eyes narrow at the sight of Paige. In the meantime, Paige tilted her head to one side, wearing a playful smirk as she said, "You and the Student Council President, huh?"
"She's not the Student Council President," said Emily, though she smiled at Paige's joke. She did think the role perfectly suited Spencer and she wouldn't be surprised if Spencer ended up running for the position eventually. It would look good on her ever improving resume for the myriad of ivy league schools she was sure Spencer was aiming for. "But yeah, me and her."
"That's new," said Paige in an attempt to be casual.
"Yesterday new," said Emily, unconsciously echoing Spencer's words from this morning. "Paige," she said with a slight frown and a good deal of concern. "What is this about? I thought we were--"
"We are," Paige interrupted, clearly not wanting to speak about the sudden and preemptive end to their romance on Emily's part. "I just..." She stopped abruptly and her jaw clenched. When she looked back at Emily there was a quiet sort of desperation in her gaze as she asked, "Is she good to you?"
"Spencer?" Emily had the urge to laugh at this question because the idea of Spencer being anything else was comical. Then Paige nodded solemnly and she held the impulse back. It would be downright mean to laugh and Emily wasn't the type to look for ways to hurt another person. That wasn't in her nature. "Yes," said Emily, looking over at Spencer and noticing how she was getting closer and closer to where Emily stood with Paige as time passed. A soft smile formed and she continued, "She's good to me." Focusing on Paige, she added quietly, "Spencer has always tried to protect me."
"She's out then," said Paige and the words seemed to be forced from her. Like they had a bitter taste to them. "Her folks know."
This remark caused Emily to pause just because she didn't have the answer to that and Spencer's family was so different than her own. She had a hard time telling her parents due to their military and Christian background but Spencer didn't have any of those things working against her. But she did have a family that didn't seem to pay attention to her unless she was in trouble with the law or doing something they perceived as damaging their family's reputation. Whether or not Spencer being bisexual and dating another girl was among those things, Emily had no idea. She did know that she didn't much like Spencer's family. While she had her own issues with her parents, her mother in particular, she knew without a doubt that they loved her unconditionally and she didn't think Spencer felt that way with her own parents. Emily suspected love wasn't something given freely in the Hastings household. It was something that you earned with good grades, awards, and success at whatever task you were assigned.
It seemed to Emily that Spencer's parents viewed her as nothing more than a pawn in their little games. A fun toy they could manipulate and control and it always bothered Emily, the amount of pressure they put on her win, and she wondered at times how Spencer didn't go crazy over it. Maybe it was true what Spencer said, that she was so used to it that it was normal to her, but Emily couldn't understand how that much emphasis on success, making any small failure feel like the end of the world, was healthy.
"Yeah," said Emily, smiling as she told the lie, sure that even if it wasn't the truth it would be soon. Spencer might keep secrets from her family but she couldn't see their relationship as one of them. Spencer wouldn't do that to her. "She's out."
"I don't know why I asked that," Paige muttered, looking angry with herself. "I saw you both in the hallway this morning."
"I know," Emily murmured, reaching for Paige's hand and touching it briefly. Pulling away when Paige looked at her. "I'm sorry, Paige. I didn't want to hurt you but--"
"You can't deal, I get it," Paige cut Emily off, shaking her head, a self-deprecating look on her face. "I totally understand. I'd probably feel the same if I was you. I don't even know why I'm asking you all this. It's not like I have any right."
"You do if you want to be my friend," said Emily gently, offering a smile when Paige looked at her.
The stunned look Paige had after Emily said this almost made her sad. She had no idea what Paige thought of her after their break up, if you could even call it that as they weren't in much of a relationship at the time, but she was starting to suspect that Paige thought she might have a minor vindictive streak about it. Which was the furthest thing from the truth.
"I think I'd like that," said Paige, smiling at Emily hesitantly. Her eyes darted to Spencer and she said, "But I doubt she'll be happy to hear about it."
"Spencer?" Emily asked and when Paige gave a nervous smile, Emily laughed. "Are you worried about her or something?"
"She's not fun to deal with when she's mad," said Paige simply.
Emily almost asked how Paige knew what Spencer was like when she got angry then she recalled letting it slip about the near drowning in the pool thanks to Paige's ire and the look of fury on Spencer's face. She told her not to do anything but of course that request wouldn't be obeyed, not with a situation like that. It was too serious for Spencer to overlook. Sighing and looking over at Spencer who was just a few feet away, Emily wondered how long she had been looking out for her. Probably since the first day they had become friends, if she was perfectly honest. Turning back to Paige, she said, "I better get going. I've kept her waiting too long."
"Yeah," said Paige, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "I'm happy for you, Emily. Really."
"Thanks," said Emily kindly, squeezing Paige's hand briefly, before turning on her heel and walking over to Spencer who had a scowl on her face that she could see better with every step closer she got to her. "Your face is going to freeze that way," Emily teased.
"What?" Spencer frowned, her gaze still fixated on Paige, and if looks could kill Emily would've been very worried for Paige. Sighing at Spencer's distraction, Emily cupped Spencer's face in her hands, kissing her soundly when Spencer finally looked her way. When they parted Spencer had a befuddled look on her features. "What was that for?"
"Just trying to get your attention," said Emily impishly, hooking her arm in Spencer's and leading them out of the gym.
"Well, you have it," Spencer drawled, reaching for Emily's hand and intwining their fingers. She was silent for a moment then she studied Emily with a serious look as she asked, "What were you and Paige talking about?"
"You, me, us, her," said Emily flippantly.
"Okay," said Spencer slowly, her voice echoing with sardonic humor. "You're big up with the pronoun love but care to elaborate with some verbs or maybe even a few nouns?"
"She wanted to know if we were going out," said Emily, watching as Spencer stepped ahead to open the gym door for Emily.
"And what did you tell her?" asked Spencer when Emily stopped in front of her.
"I told her we are," Emily replied and once again, the undefined nature of their relationship was making her nervous. She just wanted to go to her house or Spencer's and talk so they could work all of this out. After what happened with Maya and Paige she disliked not knowing exactly where she stood with Spencer. She thought she knew but she would much rather hear it. Which was probably why she decided that she didn't want to wait anymore and screwing up her courage, Emily asked, "We are, aren't we?"
"We are if that's what you want," said Spencer softly, a cautious look on her features.
"I want," affirmed Emily, swallowing hard and her heart beating rapidly.
Before Emily could question Spencer about her feelings, Spencer moved forward, pushing them past the gym and letting the door slam shut behind them. "I'm ecstatic we feel the same," she breathed, her lips centimeters from Emily's, and when Spencer kissed her she could feel the smile on both of their faces. Emily sighed, tangling her fingers in Spencer's hair, grinning when they separated.
There was more that they had to talk about, Emily knew that, but she couldn't help being hopeful about the future. Maya was the last person she genuinely believed wanted her in a romantic way and that ended with her being sent to juvie camp and eventually not taking Emily's calls anymore. She didn't do much better with Paige but Spencer was different. Spencer wanted to go out with her, she just said as much, and even though they hadn't discussed it Emily couldn't see Spencer hiding this from her family. All of this made Emily entirely optimistic and cheerful as they walked towards the parking lot and their cars.
------
"You're pacing," Spencer noted, she was perched on Emily's bed and watching her with keen eyes.
"What?" said Emily as she turned to face Spencer. They ended up at her house, her mother wasn't home from work, and Emily purposefully left the door to her room open so she could hear when she arrived. There was a lot to talk about and Emily wanted to talk but she couldn't stop obsessing over the text message from A, worrying what it meant for them. Apparently that worry had resulted in unconscious pacing that she didn't notice until Spencer pointed it out. "Sorry," she said sheepishly.
"Come here," said Spencer, extending her arms to Emily and smiling when Emily took her hands. Pulling Emily towards her until they were both sitting on the bed, she wore a concerned expression. "What's the matter? Is it about us?"
"No!" said Emily quickly, only to frown as she realized that, yes, it was about them. Spencer was looking at her steadily, quiet and encouraging, and Emily retrieved her cell phone, handing it to her. "I got this after you left me at Chem class."
After reading the text, Spencer handed the phone to Emily and said dryly, "At least she didn't call me Miss Muffet and talk about my tuffet." When Emily didn't laugh or even crack a smile, she scooted forward. "Em, it's going to be all right. A's just trying to spook us."
"Then it's working," said Emily, thoroughly exasperated. "This is a threat, Spencer!" Emily exclaimed, waving her phone about, almost like it was a weapon and Spencer leaned back, barely escaping accidentally getting hit. "Do you remember what A did to Hanna?"
"This isn't the same," Spencer reassured, gently easing the iron grip that Emily had on her phone and placing it on the nearby nightstand. "The only reason that A went after Hanna was because they thought she saw them. This is just A trying to control us by knowing our secrets exactly like Ali did but that doesn't even matter because I don't want to keep us a secret. Do you?"
"Of course not," said Emily, still frustrated and worried.
"Then what does A have?" reasoned Spencer. "If we tell our parents we're together then they don't have any secret to lord over us anymore. Anyway," she muttered, tossing a disgusted look at the phone as if directed at the person who sent the text. "Making us miserable is A's little hobby and I don't feel inclined to indulge them any further." She turned back to Emily and smiled. "Especially when I rather be busy being happy with you."
She didn't know how Spencer had managed it but Emily was already feeling better about everything. Shaking her head and smiling sweetly, she looked at Spencer and said, "Sometimes it's eerie how much sense you make."
"Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end," said Spencer, grinning and moving to capture Emily's lips in a slow kiss.
"Is that Sun Tzu again?" Emily asked in between kisses, shivering as Spencer's hands slipped under her shirt, resting on the small of her back and tracing a light pattern over her skin.
"Mr. Spock," Spencer drawled, sounding extraordinarily pleased with herself.
"You really are scary," laughed Emily as she tugged Spencer closer, moving in for another kiss.
"I'm not scary," said Spencer in something of a pout, adjusting herself so she hovered over Emily, halfway sitting in her lap.
"Yes, you are," Emily smiled fondly as she placed her hands on Spencer's hips. She soon urged Spencer to sit down, relishing in the warmth of Spencer's body pressing against her own. Still smiling, Emily murmured, "But I like that about you."
Spencer responded by kissing Emily fervently, shifting on top of her lap as her tongue sought gentle entrance. Emily welcomed her, opening her mouth, and sighing when the kiss deepened. Kissing Spencer was a unique and wonderful experience, unlike anyone else, even Maya. The way that Spencer kissed was so very passionate and detailed, exploring every inch of Emily and taking her in. There was a loving devotion and care in it, a certain tenderness and dedication, learning everything that excited and satisfied Emily. Something she definitely felt as Spencer pulled away, sucking on Emily's bottom lip and smiling softly as Emily panted lightly.
"I'm glad you like me," Spencer said in a whisper, resting her head on Emily's shoulder as she spoke. "Thrilled, even."
"Ecstatic," offered Emily, recalling Spencer's response to the question of them dating.
"Definitely ecstatic," said Spencer humorously, kissing Emily's neck, and Emily smiled as she felt Spencer nuzzling closer.
Wrapping her arms around Spencer, holding her close enough that she could feel their breathing moving in sync, Emily said, "When did you know you liked me?" She paused only to add a bit anxiously for clarification, "In a kissing way." Emily studied Spencer out of the corner of her eye and she saw the skin around her neck redden, a signal of embarrassment that Emily hadn't noticed before all of this that now filled her with a wave of affection for Spencer. "You don't have to tell me if--"
"No," said Spencer quickly, lifting her head and looking at Emily with a serious gaze. She looked away for a moment only to face Emily with a determined expression as she reached out to cup Emily's face in her hands, her fingers faintly caressing her skin. "I want to." Her face screwed up into a look of utter distaste and she said, "I suppose it started when I found out about you and Paige. Despite the fact you told us it was over, I started watching you when Paige would appear, and I'd see you get depressed and I hated it. I got so angry at you for caring about Paige and one day Toby asked me about it and everything just came out." Spencer chuckled and had a wry look on her face. "Toby's a really good listener and he asks all the right questions so it didn't take long to grasp that I wasn't actually angry. I was pathetically jealous over a nonexistent relationship just because I wanted you to look at me that way."
"Spence," said Emily in a whisper.
"That's not all of it though," said Spencer, studying the lock of Emily's hair in her hands, that she was forming into a tiny braid. "Ever since we all became friends, I've always felt more protective of you than the others. At first, it was because of Alison and seeing how everything was playing out with the two of you... I hated her for that. I tried to stop her but stopping Ali, well," Spencer snorted and continued to braid Emily's hair. "That failed spectacularly. Then you almost moved away and it wasn't the same as when Aria left. It sucked when she left, I was upset, but with you I was always working out these crazy plans to keep you here even if I never said so." The braid now finished, she looked at Emily with a sardonic expression. "I suppose I always liked you and I never realized it." Rolling her eyes, Spencer stared out the window and scoffed, "Which makes this a monumentally stupid confession."
"No it doesn't," said Emily firmly, holding Spencer's face in her hands, and forcing Spencer to look at her. "Nobody has ever said anything like to me before, Spencer. Nobody..." Emily stopped to swallow hard before continuing, "Nobody has ever cared that much about me and I don't think there's anything monumentally stupid about that. I'm so happy you figured out you liked me because I like you too, so much, more than anybody I've ever been with. I mean, I know this is new, like you said, but it just feels right, you know?"
"Yeah," Spencer said with a smile. "I know."
Laughing happily, Emily kissed Spencer, her hands firm on Spencer's hips and pulling her even closer, so there wasn't a breath between them. When they separated, she breathed, "This is so perfect I'm worried." When Spencer frowned, she explained, "I've got pretty bad luck in relationships. None of them have exactly gone well and I don't want that to happen with us."
"I don't have the best track record either, Em," said Spencer wryly, toying with Emily's braid. "It's okay though," she murmured. "I understand what you're saying. What we have is different. At least, it feels different."
"You're right," Emily agreed, beaming at Spencer and hugging her tight. She laughed as they started to rock from side to side, eventually tumbling over so they lay on the bed, opposite one another. Emily reached out, grinning as she adjusted the Sherlock Holmes hat on Spencer's head. "It does feel different. Good different," she added happily. "Fantastic different."
"Splendiferous different," drawled Spencer, chuckling when Emily blinked at this.
Wearing a playful scowl, Emily moved forward and said, "I wish you'd stop using SAT words."
"But they're so big," Spencer teased, only to be silenced by Emily's lips on her own. Their kisses had grown more bold with each passing one and this was no exception. There was no slow build up, no hesitation, it was desire and it was excitement and Spencer slipped her arm underneath Emily, pulling her closer and moaning when Emily's hand cupped her breast. Who knows how much further they would've gone if they didn't hear the slam of the front door closing. They parted with a gasp and remained lying across from each other. Emily started to move away, not wanting her mother to see too much before she got to talk with her but Spencer held onto her, keeping her in place. "Would you go somewhere with me tomorrow?" asked Spencer.
"Yes," said Emily immediately, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of their first official date. Curiosity getting the best of her, she immediately asked, "Where?"
Chuckling and moving in for a brief kiss before sliding off the bed, Spencer replied, "It's a surprise."
Before Emily could pout and prod Spencer for a real answer, her mother poked her head into the room, smiling when she saw both girls. "Spencer," she greeted. "Are you staying for dinner?"
"Not today, Mrs. Fields," said Spencer with a smile. "I should go home. I have to talk to my parents."
"Nothing serious, I hope," said Pam, looking concerned, and it occurred to Emily that it was possible that her mother liked Spencer the best out of all her friends. It probably had to do with her flawless GPA and immaculate manners.
"Just the reverse, I get to tell them something good for once," Spencer replied, darting a playful look at Emily who blushed. She reached for Emily's hand, squeezing it gently and ducking her head close as she murmured, "I'll let you know how it goes."
"Okay," said Emily softly, still blushing, and nodding her head.
Spencer offered a brilliant smile, standing up in a smooth motion, and giving Pam a polite nod. "Thanks again, Mrs. Fields," she said and as she walked behind Pam, well out of her line of vision, she winked at Emily then walked down the stairs.
"Bye Spence," Emily called, unable to help herself, just wanting to say something as the other girl left.
"Goodbye, my dear Emily!" Spencer responded airily.
Hearing the laughter in Spencer's voice, Emily grinned and flopped onto her back. There was silence between Emily and Pam until Emily looked at her mother who had a small frown on her face. As if trying to understand a puzzle that was suddenly put in front of her. Not yet ready to tell her mother about her newfound relationship with Spencer, she pushed herself up on her elbow and asked, "What are we having for dinner?"
Snapping out of her musing, Pam lifted an eyebrow and said, "You don't have any suggestions?"
"Do we have any chorizo left over?" questioned Emily.
"Hm," Pam gave noncommittal murmur and studied her daughter humorously. "If we do I suppose you'll want it with scrambled eggs?"
"Please," said Emily, looking at her mother hopefully, suddenly really wanting to have one of her favorite childhood meals.
"I think I can arrange that," said Pam, smiling at Emily and walking towards the kitchen.
An hour and a half later, Emily was in the middle of finishing her math homework when her cell phone buzzed and she reached for it, her heart racing. An immediate smile formed on her features when she saw Spencer's name along with her message.
Still out at dinner. I told them and they were typically blase. I think they're happiest that you never dated Melissa. Now my dad wants me to volunteer at a GLBT youth center he heard about because it will look good on applications.
More than a bit stunned at the total lack of reaction, Emily texted back quickly: They really didn't care?
Just a few moments later, Spencer responded with: My mother, en quote, "She's an attractive girl. You clearly have decent taste in women." Pretty sure they don't care, Em. Then again, I didn't expect them to.
Once she got past her stunned feeling, she started to feel bad for Spencer, thinking that her family's attitude was another symptom of their overall tendency to ignore her, and Emily didn't know how to reply. Then she got another text from Spencer, telling Emily she had to go back to the dinner and play the high and low game, which to this day Emily still didn't understand, and saying she couldn't wait for tomorrow. She still refused to tell Emily where they were going but said it would be something Emily would enjoy.
Replying that she couldn't wait for tomorrow, Emily shut her phone with a sigh. It was true that Spencer had it easier than her in a lot of ways. Certainly she was sure Spencer didn't stress over telling her family she was bisexual and dating Emily, not at all like Emily who was freaking out about telling her mother about Spencer, but she didn't think that was really a good thing. She worried because she knew her mother cared and maybe her mother was still struggling with her being gay but Emily knew she loved her. That she would always love her, no matter what, and Emily didn't think Spencer knew that. Not from the way she stressed out over the idea of a bad grade and the possibility of not making it onto the team when she tried out for sports.
Emily wondered if Spencer had ever known for certain that someone loved her, no matter what happened. Their relationship was barely in its infancy but some part of Emily wanted to be that person for Spencer. To be the one she didn't get any pressure from, that she could simply be herself with, and not worry about having to living up to some impossibly high standard.
------
On Saturday, Spencer arrived promptly at noon wearing a black and white checkered dress, complete with frills at the bottom, and a collar that was buttoned at the top. Emily had to admit that the dress looked great on her but what caused her to grin the moment she saw Spencer was the fact she also had on a red hoodie and was carrying a picnic basket. More and more, she thought that Spencer and her eclectic wardrobe often followed a strange unconscious pattern. Like she wore clothing to fit whatever was going on for the day, which was probably why she looked like a flapper from the 1920s when they read the Great Gatsby.
Unable to help herself, Emily immediately darted forward, pulling the hood up and placing it on Spencer's head. Her grin growing wider, Emily remarked, "Now you really look the part." Spencer appeared baffled, apparently unaware of her coordinated clothing choice, but before she could ask Emily about it, Emily turned around and called into the house, "Mom! I'm going!"
"Have fun!" Pam responded and with that, Emily shut the door, and hooked her arm with Spencer's.
"So," said Emily playfully as they walked to Spencer's car. "Where are we going on a picnic?"
"The park, if that's all right with you," said Spencer, shifting the basket on her arm and opening Emily's car door for her. When Emily climbed inside, she put the basket on the back seat. Emily wanted to ask Spencer why she even took it out of the car in the first place but ultimately she decided the image of Spencer holding the basket and wearing the red hoodie was adorable enough she didn't care. So much that she was slightly disappointed when Spencer pulled the hood down when she started the car.
"The park sounds perfect," said Emily with a smile, pushing the memories of Paige and their trip to the park from her mind. This was completely different, wasn't it? Spencer clearly meant for this to be a date, she wasn't hiding anything about it and unlike Paige, she'd already made a concentrated and very public effort to display her affection for Emily. Despite that, she did find it odd to be going on yet another picnic date in the park. She just hoped this one ended better.
After living in Rosewood for most of her life, Emily developed the theory that it only took ten minutes to get anywhere in the town. She wasn't let down when they arrived at the park just before the ten minute mark. Spencer exited the car with ease and before Emily could reach for the door handle, it was opened for her and Spencer was wearing a charming little smile. Returning the smile as she got out of the car, Emily took the picnic basket from Spencer, holding it in one hand and Spencer's right hand in the other.
They wandered through the park until they found the perfect spot just past the path through the woods, hidden underneath a tree and next to the small lake. It was isolated enough they shouldn't be bothered but was close enough to civilization that Emily didn't have the smallest A related worry about eating there. Setting the picnic basket down, Emily opened it and found a blanket and she grinned as she looked up at Spencer. "You thought of everything, didn't you?" she said fondly.
"Always be prepared," said Spencer, holding up a can of insect repellant along with a spray created to ward off ants.
"I know that one, it's the Boy Scouts," said Emily, happy she finally recognized one of Spencer's quotes.
"Very good," Spencer drawled, her voice lowering in register, and she dipped down to capture Emily's lips in a slow and sweet kiss. Moments after they parted, she stood up and wore a face of utmost concentration as she started to spray an insect repelling barrier around the area where they were sitting. Emily watched with amusement as she finished laying out the blanket and sat down.
"All done?" asked Emily humorously when Spencer finished her insect killing ritual after three minutes of spraying. Spencer was wiping her hands on a handkerchief she had in the pocket of her hoodie and she frowned at Emily's comment. Laughing at this and tugging at the hem of Spencer's dress, she pulled her down until they were both sitting on the blanket. "I'm sorry," Emily consoled, smiling affectionately and cupping Spencer's face in her hands. "Thank you so much for destroying our insect enemies."
Spencer leaned into Emily's kiss, returning it with interest, and by the time they parted she was smiling from ear to ear and there was a gleam in her eyes. "Ants are a known picnic date ruiner," said Spencer in a matter of fact tone. "I didn't want to risk it."
Laughing and shaking her head, Emily watched with interest as Spencer began to unpack the basket. She produced the glasses, plates, and utensils then a bottle of sparkling white grape juice and several containers filled with food. There were three choices of spreadable cheeses, croissants, grilled chicken, and miniature strawberry shortcakes that were topped with whipped cream.
Ripping apart one of the croissants easily, Spencer covered it in cheese and offered it to Emily. "Try it," she encouraged. "I think you'll like it." Emily blinked at the croissant before opening her mouth and taking a bite. Murmuring her approval, she took the croissant from Spencer, grinning when Spencer wiped a crumb from the corner of her mouth.
"Good," complimented Emily and she held back the urge to lick Spencer's thumb as it moved away. Reaching for the chicken and noticing the combination of curiosity and slight anxiety Spencer showed, something suddenly occurred to Emily. "Spencer," she said carefully. "Did you make this?"
"The chicken and the strawberry shortcake," said Spencer and she frowned as she focused on the croissants. "I still haven't gotten the hang of croissants. I think something about French food hates me. I've yet to make a successful souffle."
"You were trying to make souffles for a picnic," said Emily in disbelief.
"No, not for this, just in general," said Spencer. Seeing the obvious question on Emily's face, Spencer continued, "I've done all the additional projects that are allowed at school for extra credit and since I'm not playing field hockey, I've had some spare time on my hands. So I thought I would try and teach myself some more complex dishes. Unfortunately, not all of them worked out. I even tried to recreate your mother's paella and it was disastrous. I think she would've cried if she saw it."
Emily almost asked why Spencer felt the sudden need to teach herself these things but she realized that was just who Spencer was. There was a reason that her room was filled with books on a hundred different subjects and she was trying to learn three languages all at once. Free time wasn't really a concept that Spencer was familiar with and even back in junior high she was always busy with multiple activities and work that she was either placed in by her parents or volunteered for herself.
"Have you spoken to her?" Spencer asked, interrupting Emily's thoughts, and she stared blankly at Spencer who formed a crooked grin at her expression. "About us," she supplied teasingly.
"Not yet," said Emily and she started to feel guilty until she saw Spencer's sympathetic look.
"You don't have to force yourself," said Spencer, scooting closer to Emily and holding her hand. She traced her thumb over the pads of Emily's fingers and murmured, "Tell her when you're ready." Spencer looked up at Emily and smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Yeah," Emily breathed, a swell of happiness consuming her as she acknowledged this. It wasn't like with Maya or Paige, the insistence to come out then the distance until she did and then the need to keep silent. Spencer wanted her to tell her mother about them but she wouldn't break up with her over it or pressure her about it. She would still be there, like she had always been. "Thanks," she said quietly, peering up at Spencer. "For understanding."
"No problem," Spencer replied, offering Emily a piece of chicken.
Accepting the food, Emily opened her mouth and chewed as she moved closer to Spencer, leaning against her as Spencer wrapped an arm around her waist. They were comfortably resting against the tree and Spencer was reaching for another piece of chicken when a series of excited barks sounded and they were confronted with the furry form of a beagle wanting to eat the chicken in Spencer's hand. Its owner was chasing after it, apologizing as they ran up, but Spencer didn't seem the least worried. Gently pushing the dog off her lap and petting its head as she asked the owner if she could give it some chicken. Getting permission, Spencer fed the dog and rubbed behind its ears, smiling up at the young man who apologized profusely and showed the leash with the collar still attached. After a few moments of working together, Spencer holding the dog who was named Daisy, while her owner, Jack, put the collar back on, the dog was on her way. Only after enjoying some more chicken and some pets from Spencer and Emily.
"From the ages of five to nine, I asked for a dog every time my birthday arrived," said Spencer ruefully. "Christmas too. And every year my parents explained with a little more force that dogs weren't suitable for our house because they made a mess and we didn't have time to take care of it. Disappointed but not defeated, I started to ask for a cat and I was given the same reasons. So then I moved onto things like hamsters and guinea pigs and was told they smelled and bit you. Birds were too loud and fish..." Spencer's words faded and she tilted her head to one side as she considered it. "I never asked for any fish. They're boring pets, don't you think? You can't even play with them. But," she said proudly, holding up an index finger. "I did start riding lessons when I was ten because my father thought it would be a good in at the club to have an equestrian daughter. However, my pleas for a pony were soundly ignored."
"We used to have a fat tabby cat called Garfield," revealed Emily, resting her head on Spencer's shoulder as she reached for her hand. Running her fingertips over Spencer's palm, she said, "He was my mom's and she adored him. My dad started to get allergies because of him but my mom refused to get rid of him. After that, it was like Garfield knew my dad was miserable around him. He'd always sleep on his pillow on the bed and would follow him around the house, making these pathetic howls to get my dad to pet him and when my dad ignored him my mom would call him mean. I was only eight but I totally thought that cat was an evil genius to have my mom always on his side. She was really sad when he died and we never got another pet to replace him."
"In the back of my head, ever since I was young, I've wanted to become a vet," said Spencer and when Emily looked at her with surprise, she chuckled. "I know, right? It doesn't suit me does it? That's why I've kept that particular morsel a closely guarded secret. Not even Ali knew about that one and lord help me if my parents ever found out I long for such a lowly occupation."
"What's lowly about being a vet?" demanded Emily, irrationally angry at Spencer's parents theoretically not approving of her job.
Shrugging her shoulders now that Emily wasn't resting on them anymore, Spencer looked at the lake and said, "They're already disappointed about my having zero interest in the law. Watching my parents though, seeing how they are with the partners at their law firms and their clients, I don't want that. Logically, I know they help people, my mother has certainly helped me enough lately on that end but it doesn't feel like that most of the time. It seems more about impressing people than helping them and I rather not continue that trend as an adult since I've had more than enough of that involving my own family."
"Then be a vet if that's what you want," Emily insisted and Spencer turned to her, a wry smile tugging on her lips.
"That's the thing, Em," said Spencer kindly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "I don't know if it's what I really want or if it's just something stuck in the part of my brain that's still five years old, fascinated with the idea of it because my parents never let me have any pets. Besides, there's nothing wrong with settling for treating humans and trying for med school. Doing that will keep my parents pacified over the lack of lawyering."
"I don't think it's right," said Emily stubbornly, trying to figure out some way to get Spencer to reconsider. There was something horribly wrong about the idea of Spencer completely dismissing a perfectly valid career choice just to make her family happy.
"You're sweet," Spencer chuckled, caressing Emily's cheek, and kissing her tenderly. It was just a soft touch of their lips, a quiet affirmation of feeling and when she pulled back, Spencer rested her forehead against Emily's. "Thank you for caring."
Her mind still working a mile a minute, Emily burst out, "You should volunteer!"
"I do," said Spencer slowly, frowning at Emily and looking slightly puzzled. "I help organize those food drives for the homeless shelter and there's the work I do with the children's hospital... and now my dad wants me to do that gay and lesbian youth center thing."
"No, I mean, yes, you do volunteer but you should volunteer at the Humane Society," said Emily quickly. Spencer gave her an affectionate but almost frustrated look and Emily added, "I don't think you should dismiss becoming a vet until you know for sure it's a whim. What if you really like it and you're good at it? Of course," Emily remarked sardonically, "you're good at almost everything."
"Almost everything?" echoed Spencer with a drawl, raising an eyebrow. "Now that sounds like a challenge. What am I bad at?"
"Well," said Emily cautiously, feigning deep thought as she tapped her chin with her finger while Spencer studied her with an amused expression. "I wouldn't say you were bad necessarily but you could use more practice when it comes to kissing."
"Oh really?" Spencer drew out, forming a wicked grin and clutching Emily's shirt in her hand, pulling her forward.
"Really," said Emily solemnly as she sat on Spencer's lap, trying to fight a grin as Spencer put her hands on Emily's hips and tugged her closer. "You need lots and lots of practice."
"Lots and lots," Spencer echoed again, appearing supremely thoughtful and sliding her hands underneath Emily's shirt to rest on the small of her back. "If I need that much help I should probably start right away, shouldn't I?"
"Probably," said Emily breathlessly and it felt like her body was humming in anticipation.
Just when Emily was starting to get irritated and considered making a move herself, Spencer stretched up and kissed her slow and sweet. Emily groaned and opened her mouth, encouraging Spencer and as they continued to kiss, she was quite proud of her little joke because the result was simply fantastic. Every time she kissed Spencer it was better than the time before and Emily was sure she could kiss Spencer forever and never grow tired of it. Soon their kisses became more frantic and involved, sucking on each other's tongues and Emily was consumed with a strange impulse, wanting to taste and touch more of Spencer than was appropriate in a public venue. Which was why with great difficulty, she pulled away and breathing heavily, she leaned against Spencer.
"That was..." Emily's voice faded as she was unable to find the appropriate words.
"Yeah," Spencer agreed, knowing exactly what Emily meant. She chuckled as she kissed Emily's cheek and murmured in her ear, her voice low and raspy but filled with good humor, "You owe me a new pair of Nina Ricci panties."
"Spencer!" shouted Emily, turning beet red and hitting Spencer on the shoulder when she started laughing.
Despite herself, Emily was charmed by the boisterous sound of Spencer's laughter and the wide smile on her features. Although it didn't do anything to lessen her embarrassment or the residual effect of being turned on by Spencer admitting Emily made her wet. She almost asked if she meant it but looking at Spencer underneath her eyelashes, she could see it was the truth from the lidded set of Spencer's eyes and the look of desire that still resided there.
"I'm sorry," said Spencer apologetically, pulling a pouting Emily closer and kissing her other cheek, "but they were expensive."
Rolling her eyes and huffing, Emily unbuttoned and buttoned the collar to Spencer's dress, studying it as she said, "How expensive?"
"145 dollars," Spencer said and Emily's eyes bugged out.
"Why do your panties cost that much?" asked Emily with disbelief. "Are they gold plated?"
"They're not a chastity belt," Spencer chuckled and she shrugged. "I don't know how they decide on price. Is it the design? Or the lace? Or the fact they're immensely pretty, especially when I have them on? I just know I like them and now they're ruined."
Scoffing at this, Emily retorted, "Buy some Oxiclean."
"Harsh," accused Spencer mournfully, pressing a hand over her heart. "You're merciless. It wounds my delicate sensibilities and here I was, considering giving them to you as a trophy so you might keep this day forever in your heart."
"You're such a perv," Emily laughed, shaking her head and wearing a fond expression.
"It's a deep and dark secret of mine," said Spencer nonchalantly. "Don't tell Aria. She'll back out of the sleepover next week." There was the sound of distant barks and Spencer shifted to look around Emily and she frowned as she said, "It looks like Daisy slipped her collar again. Jack should really invest in a good harness for her."
Recalling the previous line of discussion, Emily questioned seriously, "Will you think about volunteering at the Humane Society?"
"No," said Spencer. Emily started to protest but Spencer continued, "There's nothing to think about. I'll do it."
"Oh," Emily murmured as a bright smile lit her features. "Good."
"Very good," drawled Spencer, putting her hands on Emily's hips and pulling her closer. "So good I deserve a kiss."
"I don't kiss panty ruiners," remarked Emily, recalling Spencer's earlier comment about ants.
"This is blatant discrimination!" exclaimed Spencer, faking outrage. "And entirely unfair as you're responsible for me ruining them."
"I'm not a fair person," said Emily playfully and she kept her up her uncaring facade until Spencer gave her exaggerated puppy dog eyes and she burst into laughter. "Aww," she murmured, running the back of her fingers over Spencer's cheek. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry enough I get a kiss?" pursued Spencer with interest.
"I'll always be that sorry," Emily replied, smiling and finally kissing Spencer, reminding herself as she did they were in public.
She thought that Spencer must be doing the same because these kisses were soft and sweet and while there was passion it was hiding just underneath surface, not ready to boil over like earlier. Emily sighed happily as they continued to kiss, pleased to be on a wonderful first date, and relieved at their natural progression from friends to girlfriends. Assured of her new place in Spencer's life.
Onto Part Two