anxiety attack!
124
well last night was supposed to be my last drunken night with the boys. And it was going to be that sort of night but after i got there a few minutes later this intense stomach turning feeling got a hold of me. My stomach felt like it was tied up in a knot and it was pulling away my gut. It sucked ass. I felt like i was having an anxiety attack... WOWs! I now realize that i probably was. I was nervous at the beginning of the night i couldn't stop fidgeting. And I really uncomfortable. That is until patty and i went to the store to buy some snacks. I figured i was probably hungry and i felt the way i did because of it. Well i bought some Doritos and they didn't help a whole lot they almost gave me fucking hart burn.. well that's the way it felt at the moment.... so i asked patty for some gum. And thankfully the sugar or the chewing calmed me down... I'm doing it right now i cant stop moving my leg. I guess its all the built up stress and anxiety I've developed with my whole moving situation. And Anthony telling me that he got kicked out of the place where i was supposed to move in with him didn't help my situation either. Last i talked to Anthony he gave me a piece of bad news i wasn't expecting but in some sort of way i had a feeling about it. I just had a bad feeling thru all that time that we didn't talk and well..... sadly i was right. Anthony's land lord took him and his old room mate to court over due rent money. I remember Anthony mentioning something about his roommate leaving before the lease was over when i started looking for people.... this is sometime back. And well i guess those past rents were never paid or something so the land lord kicked Anthony to the curve. Oh and his old roommate didn't show up for court that day... so that didn't help Anthony's case a whole lot. Right now he's living with his mom for the time being... I can only imagine him and Jenna having to endure that. Well the night we talked he said that he was going to run out and look at some places and try to find something quick during this week. He headed out and well i just heard from him today. In the mean time my waiting made me inpatient and desperate. I figured i had to jump and clear my ass before all plans crumbled to the ground. So as my search continued... i decided to add on a little extra to the search... I was going to find something for my self... well that went swell! (sarcasm) most places require a credit check and for you to be employed in Indiana for at least 6 moths... i was screwed. But then i ventured to look for a roommate as well... I've gotten a couple of hits on roommates.com but i cant read the fucking messages because i have to change to a premium account which is fucked up because its expensive... so i looked in one of the websites where Anthony and i had been searching for a place.. i recalled having seen a roommate link ... so i checked out the classifieds and i found this one person. I decided to call her sat in the afternoon to see if her place was still available. Since i hadn't heard from Anthony all of Friday and most of Saturday. I called and she said that i was just what she was looking for that he could work with me with the whole me not having a job at the moment. I obviously told her that i could pay three months rent so she seemed to be pleased. She seemed like a really nice person. I'm not looking for a best friend or anything i just need a roommate. Well anyway I'm all set for the move. I just responded to Anthony and told him about it... and i worked out a plan. Maybe after we are both in a better position we can still move in together. But as of now i needed something fast. So i got it. I'm just looking out for my self. It sounds wrong when anyone says that but its the truth. Well after that i also got to talk to Josh. I called him and we had a good talk about the way things coming up. It was nice. Then later that night out of no where he calls ... it was around 12 30 or so... it was kind of weird... fist because he doesn't call that often.. especially when he says he is... and it was late. Late LATE well his time at least. I was a bit buzzed having calmed down from my stomach twisting in knots i decided to have a couple of beers. Amber Bock... yummmmm. :D The guys played I sang along with them the good old songs that I'll always know and remember. I know i wont ever have anything like that up in Indy... so I'm glad i got to see them play one last time. But anyway i got distracted from the commotion by Soup's phone call. And i walked to the side and talked to him all the mean while i observed my friends act like monkeys... :D . Saw them interact. I kind of filmed it all in my head. Nice nice memory. All the while i talked to Josh. It was a good night.
well last night was supposed to be my last drunken night with the boys. And it was going to be that sort of night but after i got there a few minutes later this intense stomach turning feeling got a hold of me. My stomach felt like it was tied up in a knot and it was pulling away my gut. It sucked ass. I felt like i was having an anxiety attack... WOWs! I now realize that i probably was. I was nervous at the beginning of the night i couldn't stop fidgeting. And I really uncomfortable. That is until patty and i went to the store to buy some snacks. I figured i was probably hungry and i felt the way i did because of it. Well i bought some Doritos and they didn't help a whole lot they almost gave me fucking hart burn.. well that's the way it felt at the moment.... so i asked patty for some gum. And thankfully the sugar or the chewing calmed me down... I'm doing it right now i cant stop moving my leg. I guess its all the built up stress and anxiety I've developed with my whole moving situation. And Anthony telling me that he got kicked out of the place where i was supposed to move in with him didn't help my situation either. Last i talked to Anthony he gave me a piece of bad news i wasn't expecting but in some sort of way i had a feeling about it. I just had a bad feeling thru all that time that we didn't talk and well..... sadly i was right. Anthony's land lord took him and his old room mate to court over due rent money. I remember Anthony mentioning something about his roommate leaving before the lease was over when i started looking for people.... this is sometime back. And well i guess those past rents were never paid or something so the land lord kicked Anthony to the curve. Oh and his old roommate didn't show up for court that day... so that didn't help Anthony's case a whole lot. Right now he's living with his mom for the time being... I can only imagine him and Jenna having to endure that. Well the night we talked he said that he was going to run out and look at some places and try to find something quick during this week. He headed out and well i just heard from him today. In the mean time my waiting made me inpatient and desperate. I figured i had to jump and clear my ass before all plans crumbled to the ground. So as my search continued... i decided to add on a little extra to the search... I was going to find something for my self... well that went swell! (sarcasm) most places require a credit check and for you to be employed in Indiana for at least 6 moths... i was screwed. But then i ventured to look for a roommate as well... I've gotten a couple of hits on roommates.com but i cant read the fucking messages because i have to change to a premium account which is fucked up because its expensive... so i looked in one of the websites where Anthony and i had been searching for a place.. i recalled having seen a roommate link ... so i checked out the classifieds and i found this one person. I decided to call her sat in the afternoon to see if her place was still available. Since i hadn't heard from Anthony all of Friday and most of Saturday. I called and she said that i was just what she was looking for that he could work with me with the whole me not having a job at the moment. I obviously told her that i could pay three months rent so she seemed to be pleased. She seemed like a really nice person. I'm not looking for a best friend or anything i just need a roommate. Well anyway I'm all set for the move. I just responded to Anthony and told him about it... and i worked out a plan. Maybe after we are both in a better position we can still move in together. But as of now i needed something fast. So i got it. I'm just looking out for my self. It sounds wrong when anyone says that but its the truth. Well after that i also got to talk to Josh. I called him and we had a good talk about the way things coming up. It was nice. Then later that night out of no where he calls ... it was around 12 30 or so... it was kind of weird... fist because he doesn't call that often.. especially when he says he is... and it was late. Late LATE well his time at least. I was a bit buzzed having calmed down from my stomach twisting in knots i decided to have a couple of beers. Amber Bock... yummmmm. :D The guys played I sang along with them the good old songs that I'll always know and remember. I know i wont ever have anything like that up in Indy... so I'm glad i got to see them play one last time. But anyway i got distracted from the commotion by Soup's phone call. And i walked to the side and talked to him all the mean while i observed my friends act like monkeys... :D . Saw them interact. I kind of filmed it all in my head. Nice nice memory. All the while i talked to Josh. It was a good night.