Wandering...
Ever get that feeling where your off, wandering, searching for something?
A relationship broke down for me tonight. Probably primarily my fault but then again truth be told it was not really going so well. Neither of us were happy, add in the distance and lack of being able to see each other and you have a leathal combination. I miss her, I am not sure if she feels the same way or if for her it was a sigh of relief, for me it was a sigh of confusion. On one side of the coin I would have to say it was a major personality clash, just in our views on life and styles, i mean if you were to put a hardcore republican and a hardcore liberal together in the same room, they would tear each other to shreds... it was kinda like that, cept not as extreme and we both have the same political views i think. So on that side of the coin yeah, it was difficult and stressful and not fun like it should be. On the other side of the coin, I really wanted to feel that satisfaction of making a relationship work, people liked her (unlike my last retarded girlfriend) she was easy going and very pretty, and when all the bs was pushed aside i really did enjoy spending time with her. I wanted to make it work, i did. Im just not sure as always where to go with things now. we will probably be friends, i dont think it will be awkward i just have to try to sort out in myself if the challenges that I have towards are relationship were rooted in the relationship side, or the friend side. Its hard to tell.
On a side note... completely unrelated... I very much despise courtney (ARG!). I made the stubborn mistake of allowing her to get more involved in my life by becoming close, even dating (i think???) one of my good friends, and I felt i almost lost him to her shenanagins. I dont understand her, her ways, her ignorance, it is so much to the point that it is inconsivable!!! she just doesnt care, i feel bad mostly for my friend, i should have known better, but maybe he has no regrets. Its all so stupid i cant even comprehend.
A relationship broke down for me tonight. Probably primarily my fault but then again truth be told it was not really going so well. Neither of us were happy, add in the distance and lack of being able to see each other and you have a leathal combination. I miss her, I am not sure if she feels the same way or if for her it was a sigh of relief, for me it was a sigh of confusion. On one side of the coin I would have to say it was a major personality clash, just in our views on life and styles, i mean if you were to put a hardcore republican and a hardcore liberal together in the same room, they would tear each other to shreds... it was kinda like that, cept not as extreme and we both have the same political views i think. So on that side of the coin yeah, it was difficult and stressful and not fun like it should be. On the other side of the coin, I really wanted to feel that satisfaction of making a relationship work, people liked her (unlike my last retarded girlfriend) she was easy going and very pretty, and when all the bs was pushed aside i really did enjoy spending time with her. I wanted to make it work, i did. Im just not sure as always where to go with things now. we will probably be friends, i dont think it will be awkward i just have to try to sort out in myself if the challenges that I have towards are relationship were rooted in the relationship side, or the friend side. Its hard to tell.
On a side note... completely unrelated... I very much despise courtney (ARG!). I made the stubborn mistake of allowing her to get more involved in my life by becoming close, even dating (i think???) one of my good friends, and I felt i almost lost him to her shenanagins. I dont understand her, her ways, her ignorance, it is so much to the point that it is inconsivable!!! she just doesnt care, i feel bad mostly for my friend, i should have known better, but maybe he has no regrets. Its all so stupid i cant even comprehend.