Take a walk on the wrong side, put your feet on the floor.
It makes me happy to put new music onto my iTunes. I have never had any sort of downloading capabilities on this computer, so 98% of my music is from cds, which makes it seem more legit to me, despite the fact that a lot of it is from cds i've checked out from the library and then illegally uploaded onto my computer.
It's funny how we change our point of view to see what we want to see sometimes.
Right now I'm choosing to see the following things:
-my independence is growing, and my sense of responsibility has finally developed.
-my excitement to see geoff is not merely a physical need, but a somewhat emotional one too.
-me and micah are just friends, despite what people are saying at work.
-i will cook more once i have my own kitchen, and am constantly surrounded by claire and emma.
-that my dad will come to his senses and pay my rent for august.
Tonight geoff and i had this textually active conversation:
me: i'm jealous of your summer, sweet vacations and no work lol
him: yeah the sweet vacations are nice, but i think the best one is going to be this trip to minnesota i'm taking. have i told you about that one yet?
me: you know i don't think you mentioned it. i don't know what could make you want to travel that far north though...
him: i know it sounds crazy but there's this girl there that i can't get out of my head.
i forgot how good it was to hear that kind of thing. it even produced an admittedly girly giggle from me, alone in my room. a few butterflies may have even stirred from their otherwise dormant place in my stomach.
god, for such a self proclaimed romantic, i have become quite tentative with my feelings. i think it's that thing they call Growing Up. maybe Learning From Past Mistakes. i don't know, i'm not a wordsmith.
Tonight I talked to Melissa for half an hour. And I felt that connection I've missed so much this summer. We talked about jen, kristin, claire, aud, sam with love and appreciation, knowing the nuances of our friendships, the rocky roads we've all traveled on, together and apart. And I'm calling to order a planned weekend, where we have real truth circles and real love, like we haven't had in awhile.
I will never worry that it will be lost forever, but as growing up so often accompanies growing apart, there have certainly been times for all of us where we simply haven't needed the immediate, inseparable, impenetrable bond that we flaunted during high school.
Again, I believe that's called Growing Up.
tonight, against my better judgement, i put on the necklace that i've stowed away in the heart shaped box with the few pictures that remain of ryan and i.
I feel like I am at a point now where wearing it no longer means that I am secretly harboring feelings of romantic love for him. Instead, it is simply a necklace that means a lot to me, that is still beautiful.
It's called Moving Forward, i believe. Mayhaps we could call it Growing Up as well.
And in the same tune as these mantras, I am literally moving forward, about 3 blocks in about 3 weeks. I am beyond excited.
It's funny how we change our point of view to see what we want to see sometimes.
Right now I'm choosing to see the following things:
-my independence is growing, and my sense of responsibility has finally developed.
-my excitement to see geoff is not merely a physical need, but a somewhat emotional one too.
-me and micah are just friends, despite what people are saying at work.
-i will cook more once i have my own kitchen, and am constantly surrounded by claire and emma.
-that my dad will come to his senses and pay my rent for august.
Tonight geoff and i had this textually active conversation:
me: i'm jealous of your summer, sweet vacations and no work lol
him: yeah the sweet vacations are nice, but i think the best one is going to be this trip to minnesota i'm taking. have i told you about that one yet?
me: you know i don't think you mentioned it. i don't know what could make you want to travel that far north though...
him: i know it sounds crazy but there's this girl there that i can't get out of my head.
i forgot how good it was to hear that kind of thing. it even produced an admittedly girly giggle from me, alone in my room. a few butterflies may have even stirred from their otherwise dormant place in my stomach.
god, for such a self proclaimed romantic, i have become quite tentative with my feelings. i think it's that thing they call Growing Up. maybe Learning From Past Mistakes. i don't know, i'm not a wordsmith.
Tonight I talked to Melissa for half an hour. And I felt that connection I've missed so much this summer. We talked about jen, kristin, claire, aud, sam with love and appreciation, knowing the nuances of our friendships, the rocky roads we've all traveled on, together and apart. And I'm calling to order a planned weekend, where we have real truth circles and real love, like we haven't had in awhile.
I will never worry that it will be lost forever, but as growing up so often accompanies growing apart, there have certainly been times for all of us where we simply haven't needed the immediate, inseparable, impenetrable bond that we flaunted during high school.
Again, I believe that's called Growing Up.
tonight, against my better judgement, i put on the necklace that i've stowed away in the heart shaped box with the few pictures that remain of ryan and i.
I feel like I am at a point now where wearing it no longer means that I am secretly harboring feelings of romantic love for him. Instead, it is simply a necklace that means a lot to me, that is still beautiful.
It's called Moving Forward, i believe. Mayhaps we could call it Growing Up as well.
And in the same tune as these mantras, I am literally moving forward, about 3 blocks in about 3 weeks. I am beyond excited.