A Book of Tales CH. 4.5
Title: A Book of Tales
-or- How America Saved Canada With Porn
Author(s): yours truly XD
Genre: Humor, Romance
Characters/Pairing(s): US/UK
Rating: NC-17; this chapter PG-13
Warnings: Sex. Lots and lots of sex, and people talking about sex.
Summary: Various US/UK/US scenarios. Some in canon, some AU, all interwoven with some slice-of-life.
Alternate Summary: In order to save his brother from yet another fangirl mob, America does the heroic thing and writes all sorts of PWP for the masses with England's help. Side-Story for “Author!Anon”.
This chapter: A plea of help
~
CH 1: http://dreamslikeglass.livejournal.com/3973.html
CH 2: http://dreamslikeglass.livejournal.com/4336.html
CH 3: http://dreamslikeglass.livejournal.com/4626.html
Ch 4: http://dreamslikeglass.livejournal.com/5118.html
Time Stamp: February 21, 2010. 8:35 PM EST
Author's Note:
Hi guys, your awesome hero here! Uh, you're probably all wondering why this chapter is suddenly in first person, instead of the usual third person, but there's a reason for that! It's also the same reason why this "chapter" is labeled 4.5 rather than 5, and why I didn't post the announcement for this "chapter" on either hetalia or usxuk. Don't worry, it's nothing like me saying I'm going to stop updating my journal or something like that. (Though, my boss and uh, a couple of others at work is getting kinda suspicious about how my work is getting backlogged, but hey, I catch up on it during the weekends!)
Anyway, right to the point. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally don't like doin' this sorta thing, 'cause ya know, I can usually handle it myself, 'cause I'm fucking awesome but I, uh, kinda/sorta/really fucked up recently and I need all the help I can get! So if anyone sees this post and has any suggestions, feel free to tell me. No seriously.
So, uh, this is what happened. Me and Iggy were out to dinner a few nights ago. If anyone lives in the DC Metro area, we were over in Old Town, at the Fish Market. (Hey, Iggy likes taking me to fish and chips when I'm over at his place, so I figured that I'd return the favor. 'Sides my crab cakes are fucking awesome! ...Oh wait, that sounded kinda bad, but don't take it that way, you pervs!)
Fast forward through dinner--it's the usual boring stuff anyway, we eat, we talk, we play footsie under the table. (Okay, to be honest, I play footsie, and he kicks my shin and tells me "not in public, git".) I'd also like to make it clear to everyone that my fries are better than his chips, no matter what he says. Sorry, old dinnertime argument. After dinner, we go on a walk around Old Town. Nice normal stuff, ya know? That is until we passed by that sign...the ghost tour sign.
For the record, I was NOT scared. Heroes don't get scared! It's just g-ghosts after all! There's absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that my capital and the surrounding areas are...are h-haunted. There isn't anything wrong with my people giving tours about g-ghosts either! Really! I mean, I've got lots of haunted places. Not as much as Iggy thank God but still, I can handle it! I'm awesome like that, fuck yeah!
It's just a little creepy when the room gets all cold for no reason and things start moving by themselves and when you hear things that aren't there and you know in your heart someone died where you are standing at that moment...Uh, I'm going to stop now before I start freaking someone out.
Ahem. Anyway, Iggy gets into one of his "nostalgic old man" moods when he sees the signs, and starts telling ghost stories. The really creepy ones, with vengeful ghosts, historical bits, a-and stuff. Why did he have to start with the one about his dead soldier still hanging around the White House?! WHY?! *shudders* So, being the hero I am, I can't let him go around scaring the tourists that were hanging around. I wasn't scared of his story, damn it! So, I tried pulling him away by the arm, and because I was, uh, excited (NOT scared, okay?!) I, um, pulled a little too hard.
And by a little, I mean a lot. *groans* I dislocated his arm. He was able to pop it back in right away, but it must have hurt like a bitch. And now I feel like a complete and utter ass.
The worst part is, that I didn't even notice! Not when I popped it out, or when he popped it back in! He just paused for a moment, fixed his shoulder quietly and discretely, and then kept walking with me! He didn't even give any clue that he was in pain, just a little grimace that I thought was from one of my jokes! I mean, I know about the stiff upper lip and all, but come on! I would have never known that I had hurt him if he didn't accidentally let it slip that it happened two days ago!
*sigh* I suppose what I'm getting at is that I have no fucking clue how to make it up to him. I said I was sorry, and he said it was fine, but still...I didn't notice. Shouldn't I be more aware of these sorta things? And I know you're not supposed to hurt your significant other. I mean, sure, we've done worse stuff to each other before, but we're supposed to be getting better at that sorta thing. *groans* Iggy says I'm being an idiot, and that it's okay, but I still feel kinda bad about it.
Basically, I'm not really sure what to do. He said that he doesn't need an apology, but he's just doing that stiff upper lip thing again. And, yeah, he's right, it could have been a TON worse, but I still feel bad. And I do want to make it up to him, somehow. But I need to make it up to him without making it seem like it's an apology because then he's just going to call me an idiot and not accept it, because he's stubborn. *groan* Maybe I'm just overreacting. I dunno. I've never been in this sorta situation before. Normally when I fuck up, I know he wants me to make amends, but now, I fucked up and he doesn't want me to do something, but I wanna do something.
So, uh, yeah. I'll admit, I'm not the best at the whole touchy-feely stuff. I need some suggestions. Normally, I'd ask Mattie, Kiku, or Francis, but Mattie is up to his ears in Olympic stuff, Japan's shojo manga collection isn't helping him, and France is, uh, France. So yeah. Any help you got would be great, even if it's just something as simple as "Al, you're being an idiot, and here's the obvious answer," 'cause it's not obvious to me.
Hey, do you think this might be why not a lot of people like watching scary movies with me?
-or- How America Saved Canada With Porn
Author(s): yours truly XD
Genre: Humor, Romance
Characters/Pairing(s): US/UK
Rating: NC-17; this chapter PG-13
Warnings: Sex. Lots and lots of sex, and people talking about sex.
Summary: Various US/UK/US scenarios. Some in canon, some AU, all interwoven with some slice-of-life.
Alternate Summary: In order to save his brother from yet another fangirl mob, America does the heroic thing and writes all sorts of PWP for the masses with England's help. Side-Story for “Author!Anon”.
This chapter: A plea of help
~
CH 1: http://dreamslikeglass.livejournal.com/3973.html
CH 2: http://dreamslikeglass.livejournal.com/4336.html
CH 3: http://dreamslikeglass.livejournal.com/4626.html
Ch 4: http://dreamslikeglass.livejournal.com/5118.html
Time Stamp: February 21, 2010. 8:35 PM EST
Author's Note:
Hi guys, your awesome hero here! Uh, you're probably all wondering why this chapter is suddenly in first person, instead of the usual third person, but there's a reason for that! It's also the same reason why this "chapter" is labeled 4.5 rather than 5, and why I didn't post the announcement for this "chapter" on either hetalia or usxuk. Don't worry, it's nothing like me saying I'm going to stop updating my journal or something like that. (Though, my boss and uh, a couple of others at work is getting kinda suspicious about how my work is getting backlogged, but hey, I catch up on it during the weekends!)
Anyway, right to the point. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally don't like doin' this sorta thing, 'cause ya know, I can usually handle it myself, 'cause I'm fucking awesome but I, uh, kinda/sorta/really fucked up recently and I need all the help I can get! So if anyone sees this post and has any suggestions, feel free to tell me. No seriously.
So, uh, this is what happened. Me and Iggy were out to dinner a few nights ago. If anyone lives in the DC Metro area, we were over in Old Town, at the Fish Market. (Hey, Iggy likes taking me to fish and chips when I'm over at his place, so I figured that I'd return the favor. 'Sides my crab cakes are fucking awesome! ...Oh wait, that sounded kinda bad, but don't take it that way, you pervs!)
Fast forward through dinner--it's the usual boring stuff anyway, we eat, we talk, we play footsie under the table. (Okay, to be honest, I play footsie, and he kicks my shin and tells me "not in public, git".) I'd also like to make it clear to everyone that my fries are better than his chips, no matter what he says. Sorry, old dinnertime argument. After dinner, we go on a walk around Old Town. Nice normal stuff, ya know? That is until we passed by that sign...the ghost tour sign.
For the record, I was NOT scared. Heroes don't get scared! It's just g-ghosts after all! There's absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that my capital and the surrounding areas are...are h-haunted. There isn't anything wrong with my people giving tours about g-ghosts either! Really! I mean, I've got lots of haunted places. Not as much as Iggy thank God but still, I can handle it! I'm awesome like that, fuck yeah!
It's just a little creepy when the room gets all cold for no reason and things start moving by themselves and when you hear things that aren't there and you know in your heart someone died where you are standing at that moment...Uh, I'm going to stop now before I start freaking someone out.
Ahem. Anyway, Iggy gets into one of his "nostalgic old man" moods when he sees the signs, and starts telling ghost stories. The really creepy ones, with vengeful ghosts, historical bits, a-and stuff. Why did he have to start with the one about his dead soldier still hanging around the White House?! WHY?! *shudders* So, being the hero I am, I can't let him go around scaring the tourists that were hanging around. I wasn't scared of his story, damn it! So, I tried pulling him away by the arm, and because I was, uh, excited (NOT scared, okay?!) I, um, pulled a little too hard.
And by a little, I mean a lot. *groans* I dislocated his arm. He was able to pop it back in right away, but it must have hurt like a bitch. And now I feel like a complete and utter ass.
The worst part is, that I didn't even notice! Not when I popped it out, or when he popped it back in! He just paused for a moment, fixed his shoulder quietly and discretely, and then kept walking with me! He didn't even give any clue that he was in pain, just a little grimace that I thought was from one of my jokes! I mean, I know about the stiff upper lip and all, but come on! I would have never known that I had hurt him if he didn't accidentally let it slip that it happened two days ago!
*sigh* I suppose what I'm getting at is that I have no fucking clue how to make it up to him. I said I was sorry, and he said it was fine, but still...I didn't notice. Shouldn't I be more aware of these sorta things? And I know you're not supposed to hurt your significant other. I mean, sure, we've done worse stuff to each other before, but we're supposed to be getting better at that sorta thing. *groans* Iggy says I'm being an idiot, and that it's okay, but I still feel kinda bad about it.
Basically, I'm not really sure what to do. He said that he doesn't need an apology, but he's just doing that stiff upper lip thing again. And, yeah, he's right, it could have been a TON worse, but I still feel bad. And I do want to make it up to him, somehow. But I need to make it up to him without making it seem like it's an apology because then he's just going to call me an idiot and not accept it, because he's stubborn. *groan* Maybe I'm just overreacting. I dunno. I've never been in this sorta situation before. Normally when I fuck up, I know he wants me to make amends, but now, I fucked up and he doesn't want me to do something, but I wanna do something.
So, uh, yeah. I'll admit, I'm not the best at the whole touchy-feely stuff. I need some suggestions. Normally, I'd ask Mattie, Kiku, or Francis, but Mattie is up to his ears in Olympic stuff, Japan's shojo manga collection isn't helping him, and France is, uh, France. So yeah. Any help you got would be great, even if it's just something as simple as "Al, you're being an idiot, and here's the obvious answer," 'cause it's not obvious to me.
Hey, do you think this might be why not a lot of people like watching scary movies with me?