Well, my dignity is shot...
Title: Author!Anon
Author(s): my bunny co-worker and me; edits done by me
Genre: Humor
Characters/Pairing(s): England, America, Hungary; US/UK
Rating: PG13/hard R; this chapter is PG13
Warnings: may cause your head to explode, lots of Author's/Editor's notes
Summary: America has a secret. He's a fanfiction author for the Hetalia kink_meme. This is his story as he struggles with strange de-anons, writer's block, and real life...as told by England.
AKA, the fic that has utterly destroyed my reputation. Originally for the kink_meme, now with edits and extra bits.
Part of me knows I can kiss my carefully built anonymity goodbye, but whatever. I kinda wanted this fic to be de-anoned 'cause it's really fun.
~
Editor's Note (Please read, cause it's TEH AWESOME/important):
As stated above, I'm not the primary writer of this fic. My fluffy-puffy rabbit co-worker is. I'm editing and de-anoning it for the both of us, since he doesn't have a LJ account, and I did help him write this (especially the later chapters). I suggest that while reading this fic, to read the Author notes and the new Editor notes because they explain a LOT of the context of the story (and they're fucking hilarious and awesome, especially my notes XD). And really, the notes are practically part of the story. For this story at least. You can skip other stories' notes.
I doubt anyone noticed, but when this was FIRST being written, it was being written and posted in real time, according to EDT. Because of this, I'll add time stamps and shit.
Anyway, hope you guys enjoy the new (and improved) Author!Anon
~
Originally posted on August 26, 2009. 8:57-9:02 PM, EDT
Another day, another meeting. Booooooooooooooring for one Alfred F. Jones, a.k.a. the United States of America, especially since he wasn't speaking at the moment. England had the floor, and the Briton just kept rambling on and on about something that America didn't even bother to know the name of. Whatever. America could steal England's notes after the meeting if the speech was really important.
Finally, America had enough. Taking a quick look at the clock (12:30), America grinned and stood up, interrupting his former colonizer.
“Lunch break!”
Within seconds, there was a mad scrambling to the door. America was the first one out, shouts from the others following him.
“Bloody hell, America, I was almost finished!”
“Stop pushing!”
“PASTA~!”
Rather than hightailing it to the cafeteria, America decided to head to his office. He had burgers stored in the mini fridge, and he had no desire to sit in the dinning hall just to be chewed out by England. Besides, since he was here, he could always go online and check out his favorite pastime.
The Hetalia Kink_Meme.
All the Nations read the thing (it was a guilty pleasure for everyone) but only two, maybe three, wrote on it. Hungary was one (dear God, but her porn made everyone's noses bleed...It was soooooo good). America suspected England wrote some too (he also had a suspicion that the Brit was the one responsible for that sudden burst of Britannia Angel requests a few pages back). America was the third.
Yes, America was a writer, a fact that he wanted to keep secret from everyone. It would completely ruin his image if everyone knew that he wrote stories for the kink_meme. Besides, no one would believe that “idiotic America” would spend his free time writing. Yet, write he did. The American had written a slew of stories in a burst of rapid inspiration, but lately he had started to calm down, especially since he was currently working on multiple fills (all of which featured him, of course). A couple of new requests caught his attention, but in an amazing show of willpower, America turned away from them, determined to focus on his other fills.
Even so, he always did like reading what the new requests were. A lot of them were really interesting, so even if America didn't fill the story, he did like seconding things. By now, the requests for part 6 (damn, part 6 already?) was on page 57 and there were definitely new requests. Scrolling through them, one caught America's eye.
US/UK: Wolf caught the rabbit
“What do animals have to do with our Special Relationship?” America blinked as he skimmed the prompt. There was a picture attached to the request, so America clicked on it.
And promptly had a nosebleed as top grade Japanese hentai splashed itself on his screen.
“HOLY SHIT!” America screamed, while clutching his nose, “That's me! And Iggy! And holy crap bunny ears! And wolf ears! And...and...HOLY CRAP that's hot!”
Oh God, what was up with Kiku's artists and making such hot, hot crack? Miles upon miles of naked flesh was laid bare before America's eyes, making him salivate. Oh man, oh fuck, England's rolling countryside...so sexy... America quickly typed in a reply to the prompt, making sure not to missfire.
*clutches bleeding nose* OMG I want this SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.
After a moment, even though he thought bunny!Iggy looked a TON cuter, he decided to comment on his picture self so that the others who read it wouldn't think it was him (or they would think he was a freaking narcissist, but whatever).
Wolf-boy America...sooo hawt...
“And so is bunny Iggy, but I ain't going to admit it to him,” America muttered, looking back at the pic and raking his eyes over England's rabbit-fied form. Damn, that was really hot. It made America want to find the real England and fuck him into a wall. Over and over...like a bunny.
America forced himself to choke back a giggle.
After typing a witty thing about the Re-Captcha (oh, Captcha, so amusing with your lack of math skills) America posted his comment and thought that would be that. Maybe someone would fill it, maybe someone wouldn't, but it wasn't going to be him.
Maybe.
As the day wore on, America couldn't get that picture out of his mind. His fingers kept itching to go back to his computer and start typing something down. America wasn't really a smut writer (not like Hungary) but that pic sure as hell made him want to be one. And the whole fairytale aspect...that was pretty awesome! As much as he ragged on England about magic, America couldn't deny that it was pretty cool (case one: the Harry Potter craze). The story didn't have to be just about smut...there could even be a plot! A porn with plot! That would be awesome, and it would make the fic pretty long with more bunny England.
America giggled again, easily getting trapped in his own fantasy. Bunnies...Bunnies fucking. America fucking bunny England...
“America, are you alright?”
The blue-eyed Nation nearly jumped out of his skin when England came behind him a slight frown on his face.
“Ah, England!” America shouted (not squeaked, heroes did not squeak), “How's it going?”
England raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, his entire stance screaming that he unamused by his former colony, “You look distracted.”
“Ahahahah,” America laughed sheepishly, “Distracted? Heck no, heroes never get distracted! I'm totally not thinking about you and rabbits and porn.”
Both Nations froze. Oh shit...
“What the bloody hell?!” England shrieked. America's eyes widened and his flush increased.
“Never mind, I didn't say anything!” America said in a rush as he hightailed it out of the room, before the Briton could interrogate him, “SeeyoulaterEngland.”
~
Sometime later, America was back at his house debating with himself on whether or not he should start a new story. On one hand, he was working on three fills already. On the other hand, rabbit England.
Three fills. Rabbit England. Three fills. Rabbit England. Three fills. Hot moaning, begging for more bunny Iggy...
“Nngh...” America moaned, flopping on his bed and trying to ignore his growing arousal, “I'll just sleep on it.”
That was a bad idea. His sleep was completely invaded with thoughts of England, rabbits, and wolves. There was even one weird dream with the British Isles (as in the land mass) floating across the Atlantic Ocean to start rubbing against Florida (again, the land mass). By morning, America woke up with damp sheets, a boner, and a severe nosebleed whenever he looked at a map.
“Fuck it,” America muttered to himself as he stared at a map hung up in his bedroom and palmed hard flesh, “I can juggle four fills. I'm a hero!”
Unfortunately, he couldn't start the fic right away. There was a meeting in half an hour. But luckily, the lunch break was long enough that he was able to slip away into his office and start working on his newest creation. Grinning wildly to himself, America started the fic (he decided to name it “Fairytale”) like he did with all the others, by consulting Hungary. He signed on to his AIM account, and checked his buddy list. Luckily, Hungary was on.
imahero50: Yo hungary!
yaoiloverforlife: Ah, sorry America. This is Austria.
imahero50: oh, kk
imahero50: when will she be back? Need 2 talk to her
imahero50: i have AWESOME story that im gonna fill!!!!1!!
yaoiloverforlife: kink_meme?
imahero50: check out the request and the pic in the link: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/10530.html?thread=17627682#t17627682
yaoiloverforlife: ...you narcissist
imahero50: am not! doesn't iggy look teh hawtness?! Fucking raepable
yaoiloverforlife: if he heard u hed kill u u know
imahero50: lol hungary will protect me! im gonna write her pr0n. u know finally. shes been asking 4 ages... i want her to beta
yaoiloverforlife: ill let her know
imahero50: awesome! im gonna get to work on it right now
yaoiloverforlife: ...dont u have a meeting?
imahero50: lol fuck that
yaoiloverforlife: England really IS going to kill u
imahero50: or hes gonna jerk off to teh awesomeness of my fill! Watever, hes not gonna know its me im too awesome! Uh...dont tell him tho hed freak out... anyway tell hungary to send me IM when she can
imahero50: OH! and tell her that im going to be focusin on my 4 stories for awhile...i aint reading anymore prompts (they tempt me too much) but if she finds any good ones that get filled lemme know kk
yaoiloverforlife: alright good luck on ur story
imahero50: later and PLZ dont tell Iggy
And with that, America minimized the chat screen and opened a word document. After taking a bite out of one of his many hamburgers, he started to type his first draft.
On this like America on hamburgers. Normally I don't do pr0n, but that pic was so hot I just had to do it! Uh, hope OP doesn't mind a multichapter!fill. I just had an idea for a plot (OMG pr0n with plot?) for this kind of fantasy setting, so I decided to run with it.
Snickering at the irony, America dove into the meat of the story. He had decided on another long story. It would surprise the others who knew him, but as much as he liked porn, he liked an actual story a hell of a lot better. The porn was just an amazingly hot bonus. Of course, this helped him remain anonymous on the kink_meme since no one would suspect that he would write some of the things he did. Since this story was one he did not want the others to know he was writing (especially England) he decided to start the story off like a fairytale, making sure to toss in mentions of the fairies and unicorns England loved so much. If he did that, maybe everyone would think England wrote the piece.
Once upon a time, there was a country where magic thrived. Fairies, unicorns, humans and werebeasts lived in relative harmony. Of course, nothing is truly peaceful and underneath the beauty, there is always darkness.
America frowned, unsure how he liked those lines, but continued typing away, only stopping to double check on the prompt. Oh fuck, he was going to be the second filler. Since when were heroes second?! America felt a bit down about that. (Okay, maybe a LOT down.) Oh well, he had already started, so he continued on, editing his author note slightly. After skimming the other story, he did notice that the other filler was already using some ideas that America had thought of (the guy HAD to be American, how else was he reading America's brain so well? Damn mind readers.) so America decided to play with some new ideas that would be prevalent later on in the tale.
This went on for several minutes until someone pounded angrily on his door.
“America!” England shouted as he threw open America's door, “Where the bloody hell have you been? We've all been waiting for you!”
“Sorry, Iggy!” the younger man grinned, stepping out from behind his desk, trying to act casual, “Just working on something. I'll be right there.”
“Go now, you git,” England huffed, hands on his hips, “I just finished up. It's your turn to speak.”
“Yeah, yeah, I'm going, I'm going,” America sighed, breezing past the Briton and towards the meeting room. England rolled his eyes and was about to follow, but then the distinctive “ping” of AIM sounded on America's computer. Feeling a bit curious, England looked over the screen. He noticed the open windows for AIM, a word processor, and the Hetalia Kink_Meme. Clicking on the AIM screen, England read quickly over the previous messages before reading the newest one.
yaoiloverforlife: America! its me! im so happy! of course ill be ur beta! u/uk r 1 of my favs! itll be really sexy and the bunny ears r 2 die 4!! and rawr u look hawt
England blinked in confusion. It was quickly replaced with a blush and scowl as he found and read over the Kink_Meme prompt and America's first chapter. Since when did his former colony start wanting to write porn? Well...to be honest, America hadn't written porn YET, but this prompt would eventually make it so that he did. And porn between himself and England? That was like telling everyone about the finer details of their “Special Relationship”! How embarrassing!
Even so, it was quite sexy. (England had gotten a nosebleed at the picture that was attached to the prompt. Did he and America really look that amazing together?) And the prompt was an alternate universe and had nothing to do with their real bedtime activities...But still! Didn't America have any shame? And shouldn't he have thought to ask England about this?! The brat needed to be taught some manners.
Suddenly, England's thoughts were interrupted by another ping from AIM.
yaoiloverforlife: BTW, i found this other prompt on the kink_meme http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/10530.html?thread=17672226#t17672226
yaoiloverforlife: I know ur working on 4, but I thought it would be great if either u or me wrote it
As the Briton read over both Hungary's suggestion and the prompt she sent, England felt an utterly brilliant idea come to him. The one thing any author!anon hated was to be de-anoned. And since America was trying so hard to make sure that the author's identity of his new porno was under wraps...
England chuckled to himself and typed back to Hungary using America's screen-name. Luckily, since he was also another writer on the kink_meme (as well as having known America for over four hundred years), England was able to pull off America's tone of voice perfectly.
imahero50: this looks AWESOME!!!1!! thx! ill work on it... a hero can take on 5 fills!!!
Cackling quietly to himself, England slipped away to his office. After drinking a few shots of whisky (because he needed to be drunk to do what he was about to do), he pulled up another document and began to type, not caring about the meeting. The others would assume that he was not at America's speech because he was irritated that the American hadn't attended his. Besides, England was no longer needed at the meeting, and he could always steal America's notes if there was anything truly important, which he doubted. (The pair of them though startlingly alike sometimes.)
England started his newest story like thus:
Another day, another meeting. Booooooooooooooring for one Alfred F. Jones, a.k.a. the United States of America, especially since he wasn't speaking at the moment. England had the floor, and the Briton just kept rambling on and on about something that America didn't even bother to know the name of. Whatever. America could steal England's notes after the meeting if the speech was really important.
England grinned viciously, took another swig of whisky, and continued to type. America thought he could hide his dirty little secret from England, hmm? He couldn't even hide it from the world.
~
Author's Notes:
Ugh. Having to write using American English was painful. The things I do for this community...
In case you haven't noticed, “Fairytale” is a real prompt and a real fill. I am not the author of that fill (that would be my, ah, colleague). “Fairytale” is, by the way, found over at http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/10530.html?thread=17735714#t17735714 It's the second fill of the prompt. (Oh writer!anon of the first fill, if the ungrateful brat hadn't left me, I would give my first born to you. My colleague will sulk for DAYS knowing that he was second.)
To all the anons out there, please don't tell him I'm writing this, and referencing his story. I want it to be a...surprise. This means YOU, Ms. Beta! You and I shall have words... I suppose I shall tell him eventually, but only after...oh, never mind.
In any case, feel free to hound the git my colleague and tell him you know who he is, as long as it doesn't get traced to myself and this story. In fact, I encourage all of you anons to tease him, or else all my hard work is for naught.
Anyway, I'm off to stalk that stupid American's my colleague's fill. Not that I enjoy it or think he is a good writer, of course. It's just to make sure my own fill is accurate.
~
Editor's Notes:
Can you believe that Iggy spelled whisky/whiskey wrong in the original post? He wasn't even going for my English there...
Yeah, yeah, the “colleague” our dear “Author!Anon” is talking about in the notes is me. So, yes, I'm the author of all the fics that are referenced in this story. Shut up. Don't judge me. Hey, by de-anoning this story, I'm de-anoning a whole bunch of others without having to do anything. Awesome! BTW, I don't wanna hear stupid jokes about how girly my pen name name is. That means YOU, you fucking commie. I was still hung over from my brother's birthday party when I set up the account and all the awesome names were already taken.
If you haven't seen it yet, follow the links in the story to see hot wolf!US on bunny!UK action. Man, that picture just bleeds win and awesome and hotness~
All the times in this fic are set to Eastern Daylight Times since ya know, the fic's taking place in my house America, on the East Coast. While the other Nations don't observe Daylight Savings at their own homes (dunno why, daylight savings is freaking awesome! Ben Franklin came up with it XD) they do observe it while they have meetings in America. To better understand the time-stamp mentioned in the beginning, all the events in this chapter happened between the times of 11AM to 3PM of that day, then the author spent the time between 3-8PM writing this little piece and tipping back shots before posting it at around 9. The author took a break in the middle of that time frame to leave the office, get dinner, and go home. Wow, he really is a boring old man...
Before anyone asks if the meetings that were happening during the time frame of this story correspond with a real life meeting with the bosses, lemme just say that Nation meetings don't just consist of EU, UN, G8, and G20 meetings. I'd say more, but ya know, Top Secret crap. The only reason why Iggy got away with making small references to the meetings in this fic is because you guys don't fully believe we exist. Brilliant plan, amirite? I can walk around as myself and if I slip up/give myself away, I can just point out APH and people will go, “man, you've got an awesome cosplay and awesome RP skills.” Uh, personified Nations don't exist, by the way...I'm just some fic-writer/editor RPing as Alfred right now. Srsly.
I wish you guys could read the responses from this story. They were fucking AWESOME. And I know my co-worker got a lot of kicks responding everyone who wrote. (Jerk just likes making fun of me...) Lol, the reviews and the responses to the reviews really were a big part of the story (since, like I said, the story was written and posted in real time) but I don't know if I should post them here since neither my bunny nor I wrote the reviews, just the responses.
So, question for you guys: Should I post a link to the original reviews or should I do a quick summary of what happened in the review pages? Or both? Or something different? I'm open to suggestions. (Except for ones about the economy. I got yelled at enough about that shit, thanks.)
Stupid long notes. *kicks them*
Author(s): my bunny co-worker and me; edits done by me
Genre: Humor
Characters/Pairing(s): England, America, Hungary; US/UK
Rating: PG13/hard R; this chapter is PG13
Warnings: may cause your head to explode, lots of Author's/Editor's notes
Summary: America has a secret. He's a fanfiction author for the Hetalia kink_meme. This is his story as he struggles with strange de-anons, writer's block, and real life...as told by England.
AKA, the fic that has utterly destroyed my reputation. Originally for the kink_meme, now with edits and extra bits.
Part of me knows I can kiss my carefully built anonymity goodbye, but whatever. I kinda wanted this fic to be de-anoned 'cause it's really fun.
~
Editor's Note (Please read, cause it's TEH AWESOME/important):
As stated above, I'm not the primary writer of this fic. My fluffy-puffy rabbit co-worker is. I'm editing and de-anoning it for the both of us, since he doesn't have a LJ account, and I did help him write this (especially the later chapters). I suggest that while reading this fic, to read the Author notes and the new Editor notes because they explain a LOT of the context of the story (and they're fucking hilarious and awesome, especially my notes XD). And really, the notes are practically part of the story. For this story at least. You can skip other stories' notes.
I doubt anyone noticed, but when this was FIRST being written, it was being written and posted in real time, according to EDT. Because of this, I'll add time stamps and shit.
Anyway, hope you guys enjoy the new (and improved) Author!Anon
~
Originally posted on August 26, 2009. 8:57-9:02 PM, EDT
Another day, another meeting. Booooooooooooooring for one Alfred F. Jones, a.k.a. the United States of America, especially since he wasn't speaking at the moment. England had the floor, and the Briton just kept rambling on and on about something that America didn't even bother to know the name of. Whatever. America could steal England's notes after the meeting if the speech was really important.
Finally, America had enough. Taking a quick look at the clock (12:30), America grinned and stood up, interrupting his former colonizer.
“Lunch break!”
Within seconds, there was a mad scrambling to the door. America was the first one out, shouts from the others following him.
“Bloody hell, America, I was almost finished!”
“Stop pushing!”
“PASTA~!”
Rather than hightailing it to the cafeteria, America decided to head to his office. He had burgers stored in the mini fridge, and he had no desire to sit in the dinning hall just to be chewed out by England. Besides, since he was here, he could always go online and check out his favorite pastime.
The Hetalia Kink_Meme.
All the Nations read the thing (it was a guilty pleasure for everyone) but only two, maybe three, wrote on it. Hungary was one (dear God, but her porn made everyone's noses bleed...It was soooooo good). America suspected England wrote some too (he also had a suspicion that the Brit was the one responsible for that sudden burst of Britannia Angel requests a few pages back). America was the third.
Yes, America was a writer, a fact that he wanted to keep secret from everyone. It would completely ruin his image if everyone knew that he wrote stories for the kink_meme. Besides, no one would believe that “idiotic America” would spend his free time writing. Yet, write he did. The American had written a slew of stories in a burst of rapid inspiration, but lately he had started to calm down, especially since he was currently working on multiple fills (all of which featured him, of course). A couple of new requests caught his attention, but in an amazing show of willpower, America turned away from them, determined to focus on his other fills.
Even so, he always did like reading what the new requests were. A lot of them were really interesting, so even if America didn't fill the story, he did like seconding things. By now, the requests for part 6 (damn, part 6 already?) was on page 57 and there were definitely new requests. Scrolling through them, one caught America's eye.
US/UK: Wolf caught the rabbit
“What do animals have to do with our Special Relationship?” America blinked as he skimmed the prompt. There was a picture attached to the request, so America clicked on it.
And promptly had a nosebleed as top grade Japanese hentai splashed itself on his screen.
“HOLY SHIT!” America screamed, while clutching his nose, “That's me! And Iggy! And holy crap bunny ears! And wolf ears! And...and...HOLY CRAP that's hot!”
Oh God, what was up with Kiku's artists and making such hot, hot crack? Miles upon miles of naked flesh was laid bare before America's eyes, making him salivate. Oh man, oh fuck, England's rolling countryside...so sexy... America quickly typed in a reply to the prompt, making sure not to missfire.
*clutches bleeding nose* OMG I want this SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.
After a moment, even though he thought bunny!Iggy looked a TON cuter, he decided to comment on his picture self so that the others who read it wouldn't think it was him (or they would think he was a freaking narcissist, but whatever).
Wolf-boy America...sooo hawt...
“And so is bunny Iggy, but I ain't going to admit it to him,” America muttered, looking back at the pic and raking his eyes over England's rabbit-fied form. Damn, that was really hot. It made America want to find the real England and fuck him into a wall. Over and over...like a bunny.
America forced himself to choke back a giggle.
After typing a witty thing about the Re-Captcha (oh, Captcha, so amusing with your lack of math skills) America posted his comment and thought that would be that. Maybe someone would fill it, maybe someone wouldn't, but it wasn't going to be him.
Maybe.
As the day wore on, America couldn't get that picture out of his mind. His fingers kept itching to go back to his computer and start typing something down. America wasn't really a smut writer (not like Hungary) but that pic sure as hell made him want to be one. And the whole fairytale aspect...that was pretty awesome! As much as he ragged on England about magic, America couldn't deny that it was pretty cool (case one: the Harry Potter craze). The story didn't have to be just about smut...there could even be a plot! A porn with plot! That would be awesome, and it would make the fic pretty long with more bunny England.
America giggled again, easily getting trapped in his own fantasy. Bunnies...Bunnies fucking. America fucking bunny England...
“America, are you alright?”
The blue-eyed Nation nearly jumped out of his skin when England came behind him a slight frown on his face.
“Ah, England!” America shouted (not squeaked, heroes did not squeak), “How's it going?”
England raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, his entire stance screaming that he unamused by his former colony, “You look distracted.”
“Ahahahah,” America laughed sheepishly, “Distracted? Heck no, heroes never get distracted! I'm totally not thinking about you and rabbits and porn.”
Both Nations froze. Oh shit...
“What the bloody hell?!” England shrieked. America's eyes widened and his flush increased.
“Never mind, I didn't say anything!” America said in a rush as he hightailed it out of the room, before the Briton could interrogate him, “SeeyoulaterEngland.”
~
Sometime later, America was back at his house debating with himself on whether or not he should start a new story. On one hand, he was working on three fills already. On the other hand, rabbit England.
Three fills. Rabbit England. Three fills. Rabbit England. Three fills. Hot moaning, begging for more bunny Iggy...
“Nngh...” America moaned, flopping on his bed and trying to ignore his growing arousal, “I'll just sleep on it.”
That was a bad idea. His sleep was completely invaded with thoughts of England, rabbits, and wolves. There was even one weird dream with the British Isles (as in the land mass) floating across the Atlantic Ocean to start rubbing against Florida (again, the land mass). By morning, America woke up with damp sheets, a boner, and a severe nosebleed whenever he looked at a map.
“Fuck it,” America muttered to himself as he stared at a map hung up in his bedroom and palmed hard flesh, “I can juggle four fills. I'm a hero!”
Unfortunately, he couldn't start the fic right away. There was a meeting in half an hour. But luckily, the lunch break was long enough that he was able to slip away into his office and start working on his newest creation. Grinning wildly to himself, America started the fic (he decided to name it “Fairytale”) like he did with all the others, by consulting Hungary. He signed on to his AIM account, and checked his buddy list. Luckily, Hungary was on.
imahero50: Yo hungary!
yaoiloverforlife: Ah, sorry America. This is Austria.
imahero50: oh, kk
imahero50: when will she be back? Need 2 talk to her
imahero50: i have AWESOME story that im gonna fill!!!!1!!
yaoiloverforlife: kink_meme?
imahero50: check out the request and the pic in the link: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/10530.html?thread=17627682#t17627682
yaoiloverforlife: ...you narcissist
imahero50: am not! doesn't iggy look teh hawtness?! Fucking raepable
yaoiloverforlife: if he heard u hed kill u u know
imahero50: lol hungary will protect me! im gonna write her pr0n. u know finally. shes been asking 4 ages... i want her to beta
yaoiloverforlife: ill let her know
imahero50: awesome! im gonna get to work on it right now
yaoiloverforlife: ...dont u have a meeting?
imahero50: lol fuck that
yaoiloverforlife: England really IS going to kill u
imahero50: or hes gonna jerk off to teh awesomeness of my fill! Watever, hes not gonna know its me im too awesome! Uh...dont tell him tho hed freak out... anyway tell hungary to send me IM when she can
imahero50: OH! and tell her that im going to be focusin on my 4 stories for awhile...i aint reading anymore prompts (they tempt me too much) but if she finds any good ones that get filled lemme know kk
yaoiloverforlife: alright good luck on ur story
imahero50: later and PLZ dont tell Iggy
And with that, America minimized the chat screen and opened a word document. After taking a bite out of one of his many hamburgers, he started to type his first draft.
On this like America on hamburgers. Normally I don't do pr0n, but that pic was so hot I just had to do it! Uh, hope OP doesn't mind a multichapter!fill. I just had an idea for a plot (OMG pr0n with plot?) for this kind of fantasy setting, so I decided to run with it.
Snickering at the irony, America dove into the meat of the story. He had decided on another long story. It would surprise the others who knew him, but as much as he liked porn, he liked an actual story a hell of a lot better. The porn was just an amazingly hot bonus. Of course, this helped him remain anonymous on the kink_meme since no one would suspect that he would write some of the things he did. Since this story was one he did not want the others to know he was writing (especially England) he decided to start the story off like a fairytale, making sure to toss in mentions of the fairies and unicorns England loved so much. If he did that, maybe everyone would think England wrote the piece.
Once upon a time, there was a country where magic thrived. Fairies, unicorns, humans and werebeasts lived in relative harmony. Of course, nothing is truly peaceful and underneath the beauty, there is always darkness.
America frowned, unsure how he liked those lines, but continued typing away, only stopping to double check on the prompt. Oh fuck, he was going to be the second filler. Since when were heroes second?! America felt a bit down about that. (Okay, maybe a LOT down.) Oh well, he had already started, so he continued on, editing his author note slightly. After skimming the other story, he did notice that the other filler was already using some ideas that America had thought of (the guy HAD to be American, how else was he reading America's brain so well? Damn mind readers.) so America decided to play with some new ideas that would be prevalent later on in the tale.
This went on for several minutes until someone pounded angrily on his door.
“America!” England shouted as he threw open America's door, “Where the bloody hell have you been? We've all been waiting for you!”
“Sorry, Iggy!” the younger man grinned, stepping out from behind his desk, trying to act casual, “Just working on something. I'll be right there.”
“Go now, you git,” England huffed, hands on his hips, “I just finished up. It's your turn to speak.”
“Yeah, yeah, I'm going, I'm going,” America sighed, breezing past the Briton and towards the meeting room. England rolled his eyes and was about to follow, but then the distinctive “ping” of AIM sounded on America's computer. Feeling a bit curious, England looked over the screen. He noticed the open windows for AIM, a word processor, and the Hetalia Kink_Meme. Clicking on the AIM screen, England read quickly over the previous messages before reading the newest one.
yaoiloverforlife: America! its me! im so happy! of course ill be ur beta! u/uk r 1 of my favs! itll be really sexy and the bunny ears r 2 die 4!! and rawr u look hawt
England blinked in confusion. It was quickly replaced with a blush and scowl as he found and read over the Kink_Meme prompt and America's first chapter. Since when did his former colony start wanting to write porn? Well...to be honest, America hadn't written porn YET, but this prompt would eventually make it so that he did. And porn between himself and England? That was like telling everyone about the finer details of their “Special Relationship”! How embarrassing!
Even so, it was quite sexy. (England had gotten a nosebleed at the picture that was attached to the prompt. Did he and America really look that amazing together?) And the prompt was an alternate universe and had nothing to do with their real bedtime activities...But still! Didn't America have any shame? And shouldn't he have thought to ask England about this?! The brat needed to be taught some manners.
Suddenly, England's thoughts were interrupted by another ping from AIM.
yaoiloverforlife: BTW, i found this other prompt on the kink_meme http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/10530.html?thread=17672226#t17672226
yaoiloverforlife: I know ur working on 4, but I thought it would be great if either u or me wrote it
As the Briton read over both Hungary's suggestion and the prompt she sent, England felt an utterly brilliant idea come to him. The one thing any author!anon hated was to be de-anoned. And since America was trying so hard to make sure that the author's identity of his new porno was under wraps...
England chuckled to himself and typed back to Hungary using America's screen-name. Luckily, since he was also another writer on the kink_meme (as well as having known America for over four hundred years), England was able to pull off America's tone of voice perfectly.
imahero50: this looks AWESOME!!!1!! thx! ill work on it... a hero can take on 5 fills!!!
Cackling quietly to himself, England slipped away to his office. After drinking a few shots of whisky (because he needed to be drunk to do what he was about to do), he pulled up another document and began to type, not caring about the meeting. The others would assume that he was not at America's speech because he was irritated that the American hadn't attended his. Besides, England was no longer needed at the meeting, and he could always steal America's notes if there was anything truly important, which he doubted. (The pair of them though startlingly alike sometimes.)
England started his newest story like thus:
Another day, another meeting. Booooooooooooooring for one Alfred F. Jones, a.k.a. the United States of America, especially since he wasn't speaking at the moment. England had the floor, and the Briton just kept rambling on and on about something that America didn't even bother to know the name of. Whatever. America could steal England's notes after the meeting if the speech was really important.
England grinned viciously, took another swig of whisky, and continued to type. America thought he could hide his dirty little secret from England, hmm? He couldn't even hide it from the world.
~
Author's Notes:
Ugh. Having to write using American English was painful. The things I do for this community...
In case you haven't noticed, “Fairytale” is a real prompt and a real fill. I am not the author of that fill (that would be my, ah, colleague). “Fairytale” is, by the way, found over at http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/10530.html?thread=17735714#t17735714 It's the second fill of the prompt. (Oh writer!anon of the first fill, if the ungrateful brat hadn't left me, I would give my first born to you. My colleague will sulk for DAYS knowing that he was second.)
To all the anons out there, please don't tell him I'm writing this, and referencing his story. I want it to be a...surprise. This means YOU, Ms. Beta! You and I shall have words... I suppose I shall tell him eventually, but only after...oh, never mind.
In any case, feel free to hound the git my colleague and tell him you know who he is, as long as it doesn't get traced to myself and this story. In fact, I encourage all of you anons to tease him, or else all my hard work is for naught.
Anyway, I'm off to stalk that stupid American's my colleague's fill. Not that I enjoy it or think he is a good writer, of course. It's just to make sure my own fill is accurate.
~
Editor's Notes:
Can you believe that Iggy spelled whisky/whiskey wrong in the original post? He wasn't even going for my English there...
Yeah, yeah, the “colleague” our dear “Author!Anon” is talking about in the notes is me. So, yes, I'm the author of all the fics that are referenced in this story. Shut up. Don't judge me. Hey, by de-anoning this story, I'm de-anoning a whole bunch of others without having to do anything. Awesome! BTW, I don't wanna hear stupid jokes about how girly my pen name name is. That means YOU, you fucking commie. I was still hung over from my brother's birthday party when I set up the account and all the awesome names were already taken.
If you haven't seen it yet, follow the links in the story to see hot wolf!US on bunny!UK action. Man, that picture just bleeds win and awesome and hotness~
All the times in this fic are set to Eastern Daylight Times since ya know, the fic's taking place in my house America, on the East Coast. While the other Nations don't observe Daylight Savings at their own homes (dunno why, daylight savings is freaking awesome! Ben Franklin came up with it XD) they do observe it while they have meetings in America. To better understand the time-stamp mentioned in the beginning, all the events in this chapter happened between the times of 11AM to 3PM of that day, then the author spent the time between 3-8PM writing this little piece and tipping back shots before posting it at around 9. The author took a break in the middle of that time frame to leave the office, get dinner, and go home. Wow, he really is a boring old man...
Before anyone asks if the meetings that were happening during the time frame of this story correspond with a real life meeting with the bosses, lemme just say that Nation meetings don't just consist of EU, UN, G8, and G20 meetings. I'd say more, but ya know, Top Secret crap. The only reason why Iggy got away with making small references to the meetings in this fic is because you guys don't fully believe we exist. Brilliant plan, amirite? I can walk around as myself and if I slip up/give myself away, I can just point out APH and people will go, “man, you've got an awesome cosplay and awesome RP skills.” Uh, personified Nations don't exist, by the way...I'm just some fic-writer/editor RPing as Alfred right now. Srsly.
I wish you guys could read the responses from this story. They were fucking AWESOME. And I know my co-worker got a lot of kicks responding everyone who wrote. (Jerk just likes making fun of me...) Lol, the reviews and the responses to the reviews really were a big part of the story (since, like I said, the story was written and posted in real time) but I don't know if I should post them here since neither my bunny nor I wrote the reviews, just the responses.
So, question for you guys: Should I post a link to the original reviews or should I do a quick summary of what happened in the review pages? Or both? Or something different? I'm open to suggestions. (Except for ones about the economy. I got yelled at enough about that shit, thanks.)
Stupid long notes. *kicks them*