(no subject)
tonight, i finnally broke down. everything started going wrong, i started thinking about everything. i spent today out on the range, exhausted, got back and shit fucked up. all day i thought about home, and jen, and friends. finally i just went out into the field area, crawlled into a hmmvee and fucking cried my head off. i was sacked out for the ball drop. i am still teering up. i am so tired anymore. so busy. and if i am not completely rushed, or in training, i am sitting on the ground or trying to sleep in the dirt in the middle of nowhere. and all i do ever is think about shit. like jen my brain brings up shit from forever ago. i really drive myself nuts.
i really cannot stand this area. every damn thing is sand. i walk outside and somehow there is fucking dirt or sand in my mouth. everywhere looks the same. just sand, flat sand. nothing else.
i found out today that i have to go to another camp on sunday. communication and warning in this unit sucks. i can't wait to get away from the main body. all this shit may fucking end then, or fix itself a bit. and i generally don't have a problem with my squad.
good news. i am puting in my packet tomorrow. guarenteed it will go through. to all of you how don't know what that means. the most important and personally rewarding step of a persons military career is about to happen.
i will become among the ranks of an nco. seargent shore, feburary 2005. hell yeah. huge reponsability. more respect. my voice can be heard now instaed of just brushed off. i can't wait.
i am sorry to everyone for not calling sooner. i suck. i am especially sorry to jen, mist, and mom. it has been a while since i have been online even. a lot has been going on. actually christmas night the camp got hit my morter attack. that kinda stirred up shit. pissed me off too.
all i want to do right now is get this shit over with, go back to my job and start building a house so we can finnally start settling down. and relax. that would be so nice right now.
i really have little left to say at this point. i do feel like kicking this guys ass next to me. fucking douche bag. he has crouches with him, i guess someone beat me to it.
i think i am about done here.
yeah. later everyone
i really cannot stand this area. every damn thing is sand. i walk outside and somehow there is fucking dirt or sand in my mouth. everywhere looks the same. just sand, flat sand. nothing else.
i found out today that i have to go to another camp on sunday. communication and warning in this unit sucks. i can't wait to get away from the main body. all this shit may fucking end then, or fix itself a bit. and i generally don't have a problem with my squad.
good news. i am puting in my packet tomorrow. guarenteed it will go through. to all of you how don't know what that means. the most important and personally rewarding step of a persons military career is about to happen.
i will become among the ranks of an nco. seargent shore, feburary 2005. hell yeah. huge reponsability. more respect. my voice can be heard now instaed of just brushed off. i can't wait.
i am sorry to everyone for not calling sooner. i suck. i am especially sorry to jen, mist, and mom. it has been a while since i have been online even. a lot has been going on. actually christmas night the camp got hit my morter attack. that kinda stirred up shit. pissed me off too.
all i want to do right now is get this shit over with, go back to my job and start building a house so we can finnally start settling down. and relax. that would be so nice right now.
i really have little left to say at this point. i do feel like kicking this guys ass next to me. fucking douche bag. he has crouches with him, i guess someone beat me to it.
i think i am about done here.
yeah. later everyone