bunny is not teh lazy, bunny is exhausted. exhausted from life. i always try to be good and friendly and the person that helps out or good at his job or whatever. but i never come close
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so, i thought about this entry last night. we were laying in bed, and you were asleep, and i couldn't help but think about how you were feeling. i think mostly it's your last paragraph in this entry, how you say you'll just push away your feelings rather than deal with them.
you were just venting or whatever, but...eh. i know how it feels to do that, bunny. you're only going to hurt yourself if you don't do something about the way you feel, and i know that. i think you know that. the only thing you can't run away from in life is yourself. no matter how much you ignore what you feel, the emotion is still there, constantly digging at your subconscious.
i want you to try to make it better this time, instead of hurting yourself. i will help you in any way i can, we'll make friends and you can be happy. i'll do anything you ask, love. just...please don't hurt yourself that way. it's something i've done to myself for years and only now am i attempting to make it better - but it's never easy to get past all that scar tissue.
that's exactly why i doubt us sometimes, why i get worried and scared and upset. all the past that got tucked away, it ate at my subconscious until it was too much, and now i can't hide some things anymore. i don't want you to hurt like i do...i know that you already hurt in your own ways.
i love you, bunny. i am here for you for whatever you need, and you know it.
ilove you too,, i just have bad days, when i tuck shit away is when i can't imediatly deal with it. i deal with it by complaining to you or write some stupid shit in a journal, or make up some scene in a movie that i will never finish. but just lying next to you each night, falling asleep in each others arms. that makes everything all better. like there is nothing else i n the world but you, me, and that wierd sound coming from the attic, bu ti love you. you make it all better. don't know how else to say it. love bunny
i know you have bad days. it just seems like there are so many lately.
i want us to get jobs that we don't hate, to live somewhere that doesn't suck or have weird sounds in the attic, to not have to worry about coming up with enough money to pay our bills, to not have to worry about stupid things. i want everything to be okay. i know that we can do it.
i know that we can have friends, and a nice life, i know that we can be happy if we try. so, i want us to try. or at least, i want you to try, and i will help you. my happiness is truely secondary in the grand scheme, considering how much my emotions rely on yours. i can't be happy if i know you're not. i mean, of course i'm happy, but there is always that concern in the back of my mind because i know there's a lot of shit going on for you.
and why am i not just saying this? you're sitting right behind me.
i don't know. i'm tired, and i am about to go to bed and lay in your arms, where everything is lovely. so. enough of this typing thing, i'm off of here.
i love you, bunny. lots and lots.
...and i'm not cute. I WILL EAT YOUR BRAINS. *grumbles*
you were just venting or whatever, but...eh. i know how it feels to do that, bunny. you're only going to hurt yourself if you don't do something about the way you feel, and i know that. i think you know that. the only thing you can't run away from in life is yourself. no matter how much you ignore what you feel, the emotion is still there, constantly digging at your subconscious.
i want you to try to make it better this time, instead of hurting yourself. i will help you in any way i can, we'll make friends and you can be happy. i'll do anything you ask, love. just...please don't hurt yourself that way. it's something i've done to myself for years and only now am i attempting to make it better - but it's never easy to get past all that scar tissue.
that's exactly why i doubt us sometimes, why i get worried and scared and upset. all the past that got tucked away, it ate at my subconscious until it was too much, and now i can't hide some things anymore. i don't want you to hurt like i do...i know that you already hurt in your own ways.
i love you, bunny. i am here for you for whatever you need, and you know it.
xoxo
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love
bunny
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i want us to get jobs that we don't hate, to live somewhere that doesn't suck or have weird sounds in the attic, to not have to worry about coming up with enough money to pay our bills, to not have to worry about stupid things. i want everything to be okay. i know that we can do it.
i know that we can have friends, and a nice life, i know that we can be happy if we try. so, i want us to try. or at least, i want you to try, and i will help you. my happiness is truely secondary in the grand scheme, considering how much my emotions rely on yours. i can't be happy if i know you're not. i mean, of course i'm happy, but there is always that concern in the back of my mind because i know there's a lot of shit going on for you.
and why am i not just saying this? you're sitting right behind me.
i don't know. i'm tired, and i am about to go to bed and lay in your arms, where everything is lovely. so. enough of this typing thing, i'm off of here.
i love you, bunny. lots and lots.
...and i'm not cute. I WILL EAT YOUR BRAINS. *grumbles*
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