This Is How ...
This is how it began: she smiled at you.
You had been watching her move through the grocery store, pretending to read a magazine so nobody would notice. You listened as she spoke to the clerk about needing a place to stay, and whether he could recommend any of the people he saw posting ads. Once she was nearly done her shopping, the clerk gave you a pointed stare and gestured for you to approach. You put the magazine back on the stand (noting with some disgust that you had been pretending to read a home-renovations magazine upside-down). You took her hand in friendship, and her smile made you forget your urge to flee.
This is how you became best friends; she accepted you.
You had always had a particular obsession with putting things away. It bordered on fanatical at times, but she made no move to try and change your habits. She memorized the house faster than you anticipated, moving in with an air of serenity that suggested that it was meant to be.
This is how she managed to lower your defenses; she hugged you.
Night had always been the worst for you. Memories of the people you’ve loved through the years, people who have left you for one reason or another. But one day, she knocks on your door and sits next to you, pulling you into a hug. The scent of her shampoo is thick in her damp hair, and you let yourself truly relax for the first time in… a very long time. She did not tease you that night- she did not even say anything to comfort you. What she did do was run her fingers over your face, delicate touches that reminded you of a butterfly’s wing. It let you know that she was there, and it almost drove you to tears.
This is how she managed to make you fall in love with her; she became home.
Snow was falling from the heavy clouds above as you were walking home, giving the streetlights little nimbuses of moving light. You pulled your scarf closer to your neck as you feel a flake melt against your skin, trudging through the snow-clogged sidewalks. Then you turn the corner, and enter the garden you’ve worked on for the past five years and your struck by how the snow falling in front of the kitchen window seems warmer than anywhere else. And you think of snowglobes, of how the dancing figure moves trance-like to a rhythm you can hardly hear, eyes closed as she mouthed the lyrics. She eventually dances out of view, and just as you start to remember that it is very cold out, she throws open the front door and ushers you in, toweling your hair as you try to remove the layers of clothing. Suddenly, you don’t feel like such an outsider.
This is how she managed to make you feel as if you were worth something; she fell in love with you.
You had been watching her move through the grocery store, pretending to read a magazine so nobody would notice. You listened as she spoke to the clerk about needing a place to stay, and whether he could recommend any of the people he saw posting ads. Once she was nearly done her shopping, the clerk gave you a pointed stare and gestured for you to approach. You put the magazine back on the stand (noting with some disgust that you had been pretending to read a home-renovations magazine upside-down). You took her hand in friendship, and her smile made you forget your urge to flee.
This is how you became best friends; she accepted you.
You had always had a particular obsession with putting things away. It bordered on fanatical at times, but she made no move to try and change your habits. She memorized the house faster than you anticipated, moving in with an air of serenity that suggested that it was meant to be.
This is how she managed to lower your defenses; she hugged you.
Night had always been the worst for you. Memories of the people you’ve loved through the years, people who have left you for one reason or another. But one day, she knocks on your door and sits next to you, pulling you into a hug. The scent of her shampoo is thick in her damp hair, and you let yourself truly relax for the first time in… a very long time. She did not tease you that night- she did not even say anything to comfort you. What she did do was run her fingers over your face, delicate touches that reminded you of a butterfly’s wing. It let you know that she was there, and it almost drove you to tears.
This is how she managed to make you fall in love with her; she became home.
Snow was falling from the heavy clouds above as you were walking home, giving the streetlights little nimbuses of moving light. You pulled your scarf closer to your neck as you feel a flake melt against your skin, trudging through the snow-clogged sidewalks. Then you turn the corner, and enter the garden you’ve worked on for the past five years and your struck by how the snow falling in front of the kitchen window seems warmer than anywhere else. And you think of snowglobes, of how the dancing figure moves trance-like to a rhythm you can hardly hear, eyes closed as she mouthed the lyrics. She eventually dances out of view, and just as you start to remember that it is very cold out, she throws open the front door and ushers you in, toweling your hair as you try to remove the layers of clothing. Suddenly, you don’t feel like such an outsider.
This is how she managed to make you feel as if you were worth something; she fell in love with you.