It's Official!!!
This announcement will come as a surprise to absolutely nobody, and indeed many of you already know that it has been on its way for some time, but it is now absolutely and 100% official: Aatish and I are engaged to be married.
This is not at all a good picture of our rings, which are really quite gorgeous and intricate, but...LOOK!!! SHINY!!! I will upload better pictures as soon as I get them from the jeweler. (The rings take the form of an open book, with oak leaves, branches, and acorns forming the rest of the band. Mine is rose gold with tiny diamonds, his is white gold with sapphires.)
The wedding will be next July sometime--we'll nail down the date once we've found a venue, which is our job for next month.
So that's the boring stuff out of the way. Now for the story!
Aatish and I have been talking about getting married since practically day one. I can vividly remember standing in the security line at O'Hare, talking to my mother on the phone after Aatish dropped me off after that first amazing weekend in Chicago last September. I was reeling with hormones and endorphins and the sense that a truly life-altering thing had occurred over the past few days. I could only just barely find the words to talk about what had happened with my Mom, who'd been waiting on the edge of her seat all weekend for a full report. After about 10 minutes of listening to me, Mom said: "Sounds like this may the One!?!"
And I said, "Yes. I really think he might be."
Thus it has been clear for months that this was coming--certainly by the time Aatish moved here we knew that this was what we wanted. The only questions remaining were when and, romantics that we both are, how we would go about it. Deciding that we both wanted to have symbols of commitment to show the world, we went to Jade Moran and had our rings designed and made. We wanted to have them at the beginning of July, so that we could be wearing them during all our travels but Jade's schedule, combined with the fact that we scratched our first set of waxes and redesigned the elements, meant that we didn't get the rings until last Saturday. We wore them for the weekend, while our parents were here, and then took them off and put them back in the box awaiting yesterday, which was the day we had scheduled and set aside to spend together and do proposals for each other. (Taking the rings off and putting them back in the box was REALLY HARD, by the way. I don't recommend it, although yesterday made it utterly worth it in every way.)
We agreed on a couple of things ahead of time. The day needed to include lots of downtime for cuddling, sex, and staring into each other's eyes. It needed to include good food, some of which we wanted to cook together. And we both wanted to make some over-the-top romantic gesture. It fell to me to plan the first part of the day, while Tish got to plan the late afternoon and evening.
On some levels my plan didn't amount to much. We woke up when we felt like it and had a sleepy, sexy morning in bed. We actually got out of bed around 11 and made an enormous breakfast: bacon, scrambled eggs with brie, limeade, waffles with fresh strawberries and either maple syrup or my mother's caramel sauce. I had originally thought we would go outside and frolic but it was too hot, so we stayed in and read aloud to each other for a few hours instead. (We finished the novel we've been working on, Mom, so Chicago in Winter is the next thing on the list.) We took a long hot shower and washed each other slowly and thoroughly. And then, since it was still beastly hot and sending Tish on a fictitious errand would have been cruel, I asked him to seclude himself in the office for a few minutes until I was ready for him.
Over the last week or so I've been collecting wishes for our future from our parents and brainstorming a list of my own and then writing them in marker on ribbons. I had ordered a kite off the internet but it never arrived, so I had to run out Thursday after work to Ten Thousand Villages in Central and get another one, at which point I also acquired a little push toy made of wire and cloth of a person on a bicycle. When you push the toy the figure peddles the wheels. This was the guide, which Tish has christened "Bert." I strung the wishes on ribbons all over the apartment, tied together with bits of brightly colored yarn so that it was stretch all over the place and wrap around pieces of furniture to stay put. (Getting the cats to leave this alone was rather difficult.) The last few pieces of ribbon were a love note, and my proposal, with the last ribbon asking him if he would marry me. This last ribbon was placed just outside the bedroom door, which was closed. Following the string inside the bedroom led to his ring, and then to the kite, which I had laid on the bed. When all was prepared I gave Tish his "guide", which he had to follow along the path of the thread, warning him to go slow and read the ribbons along the way. So he trundled merrily about the house, exclaiming as he went, and I think we were both crying a bit by the time he got to the last ribbon, the ring, and the kite. He said "yes," of course, but refused to wear his ring until he had given me mine. I don't think I have ever been kissed as passionately as I was when he opened that bedroom door and saw what was inside, but I told him he has to kiss me like that again on our wedding day.
His proposal to me came in a few parts. Just after he got his ring he gave me the first surprise: a tiny blue door, about 9 inches high, to let in the faeries, which I fell in love with months ago in the silly fairy store on Newbury Street and which he has been hiding from me for some time. Taped to the back of the door was a love note, informing me that he had also acquired us season tickets to Boston Ballet for the next year. Then, after some more cuddling, we got dressed up fancy, but packed some good walking shoes into the car for good measure, and headed out to dinner. He took me to Bridgeman's in Hull, which is down on the South Shore, and we ate a lovely dinner looking out onto the ocean. After dinner we traded our fancy shoes for comfy sandals and went walking along Nantasket beach. It was just dusk, the sky and the water were almost the same color, and the shore birds seemed to appear out of nowhere as they swooped around making their last pickings for the night. The beach was still rather full of families in bathing suits, laughing and talking and admonishing their children not to go out too far, and the wind coming off the ocean was warm and sweet. We looked out onto the water and Aatish stood behind me, holding me in his arms and recited e.e. cummings quietly into my ear. Then he turned me around, so that I could look into his face and asked me to marry him, with the ocean which is older than life itself as his witness.
And of course I also said yes (a thousand times yes!) and I cried some more because I was so very full of amazement that we've come here, to this, where we've always meant to be. And the road from here looks so bright and beautiful, long and winding. I know that there will be patches of shade and shadow along the way but just now I am overwhelmed with gratitude and joy that all of this has come to pass.
A few years ago, some of you will know when and remember it well, I had my heart broken, rather badly, three times in fairly rapid succession. I remained a romantic, because to be so is in my nature, but I didn't truly trust that I would ever be able to love unreservedly again. I hoped for, and thought I would find, a companionate and compassionate love, deep enough in its way but slower, and quieter. I thought my cynicism and my old scars would prevent me from ever finding, or ever trusting, the passionate love I desired and dreamed of.
I do not exaggerate when I say that Aatish is all that I have ever wished for in a partner and more besides. Over the last 11 months he has been everything to me, and over that time I have felt myself grow in ways I never imagined.
To My Lover: Thank you, with every fiber of my being, thank you. I cannot imagine a better life than the one we are going to have together. If I weren't so content in the present I would say that I can hardly wait to see where we go from here, but instead I will just say that to wake to you in the mornings is the greatest joy, and that I have every faith that each day will unfold to bring us further, deeper.
This is not at all a good picture of our rings, which are really quite gorgeous and intricate, but...LOOK!!! SHINY!!! I will upload better pictures as soon as I get them from the jeweler. (The rings take the form of an open book, with oak leaves, branches, and acorns forming the rest of the band. Mine is rose gold with tiny diamonds, his is white gold with sapphires.)
The wedding will be next July sometime--we'll nail down the date once we've found a venue, which is our job for next month.
So that's the boring stuff out of the way. Now for the story!
Aatish and I have been talking about getting married since practically day one. I can vividly remember standing in the security line at O'Hare, talking to my mother on the phone after Aatish dropped me off after that first amazing weekend in Chicago last September. I was reeling with hormones and endorphins and the sense that a truly life-altering thing had occurred over the past few days. I could only just barely find the words to talk about what had happened with my Mom, who'd been waiting on the edge of her seat all weekend for a full report. After about 10 minutes of listening to me, Mom said: "Sounds like this may the One!?!"
And I said, "Yes. I really think he might be."
Thus it has been clear for months that this was coming--certainly by the time Aatish moved here we knew that this was what we wanted. The only questions remaining were when and, romantics that we both are, how we would go about it. Deciding that we both wanted to have symbols of commitment to show the world, we went to Jade Moran and had our rings designed and made. We wanted to have them at the beginning of July, so that we could be wearing them during all our travels but Jade's schedule, combined with the fact that we scratched our first set of waxes and redesigned the elements, meant that we didn't get the rings until last Saturday. We wore them for the weekend, while our parents were here, and then took them off and put them back in the box awaiting yesterday, which was the day we had scheduled and set aside to spend together and do proposals for each other. (Taking the rings off and putting them back in the box was REALLY HARD, by the way. I don't recommend it, although yesterday made it utterly worth it in every way.)
We agreed on a couple of things ahead of time. The day needed to include lots of downtime for cuddling, sex, and staring into each other's eyes. It needed to include good food, some of which we wanted to cook together. And we both wanted to make some over-the-top romantic gesture. It fell to me to plan the first part of the day, while Tish got to plan the late afternoon and evening.
On some levels my plan didn't amount to much. We woke up when we felt like it and had a sleepy, sexy morning in bed. We actually got out of bed around 11 and made an enormous breakfast: bacon, scrambled eggs with brie, limeade, waffles with fresh strawberries and either maple syrup or my mother's caramel sauce. I had originally thought we would go outside and frolic but it was too hot, so we stayed in and read aloud to each other for a few hours instead. (We finished the novel we've been working on, Mom, so Chicago in Winter is the next thing on the list.) We took a long hot shower and washed each other slowly and thoroughly. And then, since it was still beastly hot and sending Tish on a fictitious errand would have been cruel, I asked him to seclude himself in the office for a few minutes until I was ready for him.
Over the last week or so I've been collecting wishes for our future from our parents and brainstorming a list of my own and then writing them in marker on ribbons. I had ordered a kite off the internet but it never arrived, so I had to run out Thursday after work to Ten Thousand Villages in Central and get another one, at which point I also acquired a little push toy made of wire and cloth of a person on a bicycle. When you push the toy the figure peddles the wheels. This was the guide, which Tish has christened "Bert." I strung the wishes on ribbons all over the apartment, tied together with bits of brightly colored yarn so that it was stretch all over the place and wrap around pieces of furniture to stay put. (Getting the cats to leave this alone was rather difficult.) The last few pieces of ribbon were a love note, and my proposal, with the last ribbon asking him if he would marry me. This last ribbon was placed just outside the bedroom door, which was closed. Following the string inside the bedroom led to his ring, and then to the kite, which I had laid on the bed. When all was prepared I gave Tish his "guide", which he had to follow along the path of the thread, warning him to go slow and read the ribbons along the way. So he trundled merrily about the house, exclaiming as he went, and I think we were both crying a bit by the time he got to the last ribbon, the ring, and the kite. He said "yes," of course, but refused to wear his ring until he had given me mine. I don't think I have ever been kissed as passionately as I was when he opened that bedroom door and saw what was inside, but I told him he has to kiss me like that again on our wedding day.
His proposal to me came in a few parts. Just after he got his ring he gave me the first surprise: a tiny blue door, about 9 inches high, to let in the faeries, which I fell in love with months ago in the silly fairy store on Newbury Street and which he has been hiding from me for some time. Taped to the back of the door was a love note, informing me that he had also acquired us season tickets to Boston Ballet for the next year. Then, after some more cuddling, we got dressed up fancy, but packed some good walking shoes into the car for good measure, and headed out to dinner. He took me to Bridgeman's in Hull, which is down on the South Shore, and we ate a lovely dinner looking out onto the ocean. After dinner we traded our fancy shoes for comfy sandals and went walking along Nantasket beach. It was just dusk, the sky and the water were almost the same color, and the shore birds seemed to appear out of nowhere as they swooped around making their last pickings for the night. The beach was still rather full of families in bathing suits, laughing and talking and admonishing their children not to go out too far, and the wind coming off the ocean was warm and sweet. We looked out onto the water and Aatish stood behind me, holding me in his arms and recited e.e. cummings quietly into my ear. Then he turned me around, so that I could look into his face and asked me to marry him, with the ocean which is older than life itself as his witness.
And of course I also said yes (a thousand times yes!) and I cried some more because I was so very full of amazement that we've come here, to this, where we've always meant to be. And the road from here looks so bright and beautiful, long and winding. I know that there will be patches of shade and shadow along the way but just now I am overwhelmed with gratitude and joy that all of this has come to pass.
A few years ago, some of you will know when and remember it well, I had my heart broken, rather badly, three times in fairly rapid succession. I remained a romantic, because to be so is in my nature, but I didn't truly trust that I would ever be able to love unreservedly again. I hoped for, and thought I would find, a companionate and compassionate love, deep enough in its way but slower, and quieter. I thought my cynicism and my old scars would prevent me from ever finding, or ever trusting, the passionate love I desired and dreamed of.
I do not exaggerate when I say that Aatish is all that I have ever wished for in a partner and more besides. Over the last 11 months he has been everything to me, and over that time I have felt myself grow in ways I never imagined.
To My Lover: Thank you, with every fiber of my being, thank you. I cannot imagine a better life than the one we are going to have together. If I weren't so content in the present I would say that I can hardly wait to see where we go from here, but instead I will just say that to wake to you in the mornings is the greatest joy, and that I have every faith that each day will unfold to bring us further, deeper.