Schmoop, excessive schmoop
I get to Chicago. I fly into the arms of Aatish and rest there, relieved, contented. Almost immediately he tells me "I have a surprise for you - but you don't get it until you leave here."
With some pestering, the only thing he will tell me is that it's a surprise that comes in an envelope. Lots of things comes in envelopes. I think I know what's going to be in the envelope, so I don't obsess over it.
I was wrong about the contents of that folded and glued piece of paper.
We have our time in Chicago. I have to spend most of the time I'm there being a responsible graduate student, much to my chagrin. We go out in the evenings and Aatish takes magnificent care of me - rubbing my feet and my back, bringing me breakfast in bed, etc.
This afternoon we are on the train to downtown. I am preoccupied, and he can tell. When he asks what's wrong I start thinking aloud about stress, about how I never described myself as "anxious" before I got to graduate school, how the next few weeks before I see him again are going to be cold and dark and harder because it's both the end of the semester and because I won't be with him. He reaches into his bag and pulls out an envelope.
"Here," he says. "I was going to give this to you later, but you need it now."
I open it, feeling the seal break under my fingers, the paper tearing. A piece of paper folded inside, the outside flap of which reads "secrets are the hardest things to keep..," When I unfold the paper I find an itinerary, Chicago to Buffalo, Buffalo to Boston, and contrasting the orderly regularity of the printed words, the note.
Lover,
I'll see you tomorrow afternoon!!
*kisses*
P.S. I'm a very good liar..
(All week he had been telling me he was going to be travelling for work, but not telling me where he was travelling to. His business partner is in Hawaii for the week, celebrating his 10th wedding anniversary, and Aatish maintains he could work as well from Boston as he could from his home office.)
I burst immediately into tears, overwhelmed with joy and relief and gratitude. I spend the rest of the day smiling, frolicking about the Shedd Aquarium, the weight that had been pressing me since the moment I woke up in the morning suddenly evaporated.
On the plane and in the airport I work steadily, knocking small tasks off my to-do list.
cos picks me up from the airport. I come home and formlesspassion hears me come in, welcomes me back, and I sit with her and desiringsubject and we talk and hug and have a nightcap.
My cats are hyper when I come upstairs, particularly Thalia.
Then I come upstairs and write this, reveling in the memory of my beloved's devotion and the way despondency turned to joy. I will crawl now into my bed, and tomorrow I will work and work. motive_nuance will come to cook dinner with me after my presentation (which I am much more calm about now than I was yesterday) and then Aatish will be here, and I will again get to experience the near-infinite pleasure of going to bed with him at night and waking up to him in the morning, having his presence fill my days in innumerable small and joyful ways.
I have both the best, and possibly also the craziest, boyfriend ever.
With some pestering, the only thing he will tell me is that it's a surprise that comes in an envelope. Lots of things comes in envelopes. I think I know what's going to be in the envelope, so I don't obsess over it.
I was wrong about the contents of that folded and glued piece of paper.
We have our time in Chicago. I have to spend most of the time I'm there being a responsible graduate student, much to my chagrin. We go out in the evenings and Aatish takes magnificent care of me - rubbing my feet and my back, bringing me breakfast in bed, etc.
This afternoon we are on the train to downtown. I am preoccupied, and he can tell. When he asks what's wrong I start thinking aloud about stress, about how I never described myself as "anxious" before I got to graduate school, how the next few weeks before I see him again are going to be cold and dark and harder because it's both the end of the semester and because I won't be with him. He reaches into his bag and pulls out an envelope.
"Here," he says. "I was going to give this to you later, but you need it now."
I open it, feeling the seal break under my fingers, the paper tearing. A piece of paper folded inside, the outside flap of which reads "secrets are the hardest things to keep..," When I unfold the paper I find an itinerary, Chicago to Buffalo, Buffalo to Boston, and contrasting the orderly regularity of the printed words, the note.
Lover,
I'll see you tomorrow afternoon!!
*kisses*
P.S. I'm a very good liar..
(All week he had been telling me he was going to be travelling for work, but not telling me where he was travelling to. His business partner is in Hawaii for the week, celebrating his 10th wedding anniversary, and Aatish maintains he could work as well from Boston as he could from his home office.)
I burst immediately into tears, overwhelmed with joy and relief and gratitude. I spend the rest of the day smiling, frolicking about the Shedd Aquarium, the weight that had been pressing me since the moment I woke up in the morning suddenly evaporated.
On the plane and in the airport I work steadily, knocking small tasks off my to-do list.
cos picks me up from the airport. I come home and formlesspassion hears me come in, welcomes me back, and I sit with her and desiringsubject and we talk and hug and have a nightcap.
My cats are hyper when I come upstairs, particularly Thalia.
Then I come upstairs and write this, reveling in the memory of my beloved's devotion and the way despondency turned to joy. I will crawl now into my bed, and tomorrow I will work and work. motive_nuance will come to cook dinner with me after my presentation (which I am much more calm about now than I was yesterday) and then Aatish will be here, and I will again get to experience the near-infinite pleasure of going to bed with him at night and waking up to him in the morning, having his presence fill my days in innumerable small and joyful ways.
I have both the best, and possibly also the craziest, boyfriend ever.