(no subject)
last night was the most painful and horrible experience of my entire life. It broke my heart to walk up to the place and see a line wrapped around the whole building waiting to pay respects to Jonathan Karp. Many people from my job were there...managers, co-workers, friends. It was obvious by the amount of people there that so many people had respect and love for this kid. And he deserved every single ounce of respect and love poured out to him last night by his loved ones. He was a great guy, had so much to live for. I am truly going to miss him, and I doubt there will be a day anytime soon where I don't think about him. It just kills me.
i had his funeral card in my back pocket the whole day, no one knew that. I took it out at 9:45 am and held it in my hand, when he was getting buried. At that point Mr. Bennett had to tell some bullshit story about a kid blowing a stop sign on him or whatever. And that we need to stop driving so bad, or we'll be dead. That made me cry. Just the way he said it, so harshly just got to me.
the next period, I gave a note to Mr. Forzano saying why I didn't do my homework. His response..."Why are you here, then?" Honestly, I shouldn't of been. I should of been at that funeral, and I'm kicking myself for it now. I did pay my respects last night, but at that moment it didn't feel like enough. And, I cried to myself more. It's just a terrible experience.
i didn't talk to any of my friends today. Barely any, atleast. It was hard for me to considering no one really knew the person I was so crushed over. And, I can understand that...you can't exactly make someone feel better when you don't know who it was. I wasn't asking for anything from anyone today, I was relying on myself to deal with this. I'm trying...just give me time.
anyway, I just thought maybe some people would have liked to know why I was the way I was today. And, there you have it.
i'm disabling the comments on this entry since...what would you even know what to write? I wouldn't either. There really is nothing anyone can say to help me with this, unless you knew him. All I can say is I'll be okay in time, it's just rough right now.
i had his funeral card in my back pocket the whole day, no one knew that. I took it out at 9:45 am and held it in my hand, when he was getting buried. At that point Mr. Bennett had to tell some bullshit story about a kid blowing a stop sign on him or whatever. And that we need to stop driving so bad, or we'll be dead. That made me cry. Just the way he said it, so harshly just got to me.
the next period, I gave a note to Mr. Forzano saying why I didn't do my homework. His response..."Why are you here, then?" Honestly, I shouldn't of been. I should of been at that funeral, and I'm kicking myself for it now. I did pay my respects last night, but at that moment it didn't feel like enough. And, I cried to myself more. It's just a terrible experience.
i didn't talk to any of my friends today. Barely any, atleast. It was hard for me to considering no one really knew the person I was so crushed over. And, I can understand that...you can't exactly make someone feel better when you don't know who it was. I wasn't asking for anything from anyone today, I was relying on myself to deal with this. I'm trying...just give me time.
anyway, I just thought maybe some people would have liked to know why I was the way I was today. And, there you have it.
i'm disabling the comments on this entry since...what would you even know what to write? I wouldn't either. There really is nothing anyone can say to help me with this, unless you knew him. All I can say is I'll be okay in time, it's just rough right now.