raw personal type thing... needed to get it off my mind a little
So last night i found out that my ex has a new girlfriends as i had suspected. He has been going out with her longer than i originally thought. Almost two months he has been with her. That means i don't even take 4 months to get over. We were together for almost 4 years and have a child together. I broke up with him but it still hurts and i knew he would find someone before me. Don't get me wrong, I'm really really happy for him - it just hurts that he has found someone he can snuggle up to or go out with whenever he wants and i miss the company. Guess that is coz I have been really lonely for a while. Missing the company. Missing having someone to hold me. Missing having someone to wake up next to. Missing everything that a relationship brings with it. It hurts that i probably won't find anyone for a long while, but i guess it was my decision afterall and i have to keep telling myself that. I'm just a little blah over it i guess.
I had a lot more to write... but think i might go sit in the bottom of the shower for a while and just let the emotion run out of me.
I will always love him in some way, but not enough to be with in a relationship. He has changed into a person that i wished he would have been more in our relationship. As he said, we obviously weren't in the right relationship. I miss his company and some of his stupid ways, but i did the right thing and that is the most important thing. He was my first everything, so will always be in my heart.
Just wish i would have someone come sweep me off my feet, be totally ok that i have a child and hold me so i know everything would be alright... you know... that fairy tale stuff - yeah? well i want that.... and i'm impatientant so now would be good :p
love neika
I had a lot more to write... but think i might go sit in the bottom of the shower for a while and just let the emotion run out of me.
I will always love him in some way, but not enough to be with in a relationship. He has changed into a person that i wished he would have been more in our relationship. As he said, we obviously weren't in the right relationship. I miss his company and some of his stupid ways, but i did the right thing and that is the most important thing. He was my first everything, so will always be in my heart.
Just wish i would have someone come sweep me off my feet, be totally ok that i have a child and hold me so i know everything would be alright... you know... that fairy tale stuff - yeah? well i want that.... and i'm impatientant so now would be good :p
love neika