Been thinking... could be dangerous
So many thoughts have been buzzing round in my head of late. I don't know whether i am coming or going - which is nothing new as such, but this feeling i have is different. I have been happier, yet still drowning in a mass of sorrow for some reason, if that makes any sense at all.. It's like life has hit me and i am overwhelmed by the reality of it of late. I have felt like getting back to myself, felt like writing (which i have not done in years)... i'm starting to think i may have forgotten how to make coherant ramblings seem readable (does that make any sense?). I got to thinking... what would happen if people started being true to themselves... being themselves... being a complete person... being something that they lost long ago and have been trying to find for the longest of times... what if? I'm getting back to the person i lost years ago... but with that comes growing up finally.. taking responsibility and all that other stuff that i never got and thought i was getting. Sounds funny saying this considering i am a single mother and have grown up a lot in the past nine and a half months. I have been told that i have matured more in that time than the last 3 years prior to it. Now I have a hell of a long way to go, i know this. but i dont' think living at home is helping. Mum and dad help me out so much! It's like riley has got four parents. They go to work all day and come home and make dinner and clean up and all i can do is look after riley and feel completely guilty. I feel so useless, and yet when they went away to perth for a couple of week, i managed fine. I know i can do it all... i am just so lazy!!
Anywho, let's move away from that topic shall we?
My random thought today whilst driving... 'I used to stich my broken heart with leather... Now i wait for prince charming to kiss my jigsaw lips' - don't know what made me think that... but well it stuck in there for a while and got me thinking that it would be an interesting painting... a heart with torn leather stitching and jigsaw lips.... ahhh yes... random craziness!
Well meeps and mullets I did have something decent to write in here but that was early this morning and now... well it's gone... today was a day of many jobs and feeling like i have done nothing... yet i haven't stopped all day - go figure on that!
Anywho, I have to go and try design a flyer for massage and getting me business and some kind of income to pay off some of these bills *sigh* i'm drowning in debt... i hate living at home and relying on mum and dad so much... so this is one of the first stepping stones to leaving... we'll see
Love and light
love neika
Anywho, let's move away from that topic shall we?
My random thought today whilst driving... 'I used to stich my broken heart with leather... Now i wait for prince charming to kiss my jigsaw lips' - don't know what made me think that... but well it stuck in there for a while and got me thinking that it would be an interesting painting... a heart with torn leather stitching and jigsaw lips.... ahhh yes... random craziness!
Well meeps and mullets I did have something decent to write in here but that was early this morning and now... well it's gone... today was a day of many jobs and feeling like i have done nothing... yet i haven't stopped all day - go figure on that!
Anywho, I have to go and try design a flyer for massage and getting me business and some kind of income to pay off some of these bills *sigh* i'm drowning in debt... i hate living at home and relying on mum and dad so much... so this is one of the first stepping stones to leaving... we'll see
Love and light
love neika