Valentine's Day
ughh i hate Valentine's Day. Today was supposed to be really special...but that all went down the drain like a week ago.
in case any of you didn't catch that: yes, we broke up so stop asking. i hope all of those people that were against us are happy...they finally got what they wanted...I guess its just been a shitty couple of weeks. everybody keeps telling me that things'll be ok soon. i just hate that the things i love get taken away one by one. They promise not to go, but they always end up leaving. I guess thats just life...promises are always broken and i guess i should've learned that by now, but i've always believed in trusting people unless i have a reason not to and im defnitely a sucker for second chances. I always think i see something in people, but it ends up being an act. its ok, with every experience is a lesson learned. my lesson learned: DON'T DATE GOLFERS ANYMORE. Haha just kidding.. =) whattt? gotta have a little humor in here or ill go nuts. People used to say that they loved how i was so happy all the time, no matter how hard things got. I'm not that person anymore and i want her back, so im going to try my best.
I went to bed at 11:30 last night but couldnt fall asleep for the life of me. My mind started racing and I opened my eyes to the first tear running down my cheek and looked over at the clock. It was 12:00, February 14. Not a very good way to start an already-anticipated-to-be-difficult day.
Anyways, my Valentine's day could've been worse i guess. We had a really awesome assembly. This surfer guy, Jesse, came to our school to talk about how he'd become paralyzed and all his dreams were shattered. But, going through it made him realize that he's really lucky to have what he has and life is precious and short and shouldnt be wasted. so i guess that was kinda reassuring/depressing./inspiring.
Since i had nobody to show me their love, i showed it to myself.
nothing heals better than Dirty Dancing. i just wish i coulda watched it with....nevermind, i don't need to finish that sentence.
then i treated to myself to a tatoo that the dentist gave me on friday =). i <3 it.
Then, i took eryn's advice and took a nice hot bath with yummy smelling candles.
and just throw a little ring dance in there. =) we had fun...i got to be a princess again and it was so amazing. Even if it was for only one night.
Oh no- here comes that sun again.
And means another day without you my love.
And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself.
And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes - sometimes,
you just have to walk away - walk away.
With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one?
But you put the happy in my ness, you put the good times into my fun.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes - sometimes,
you just have to walk away - walk away and head for the door.
We've tried the goodbye so many days.
We walk in the same direction so that we could never stray.
They say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free,
but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery.
They say time will make all this go away,
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.
And once again that rising sun is droppin' on down
And once again, you my love, are nowhere to be found.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away, walk away and head for the door.
You just walk away - walk away - walk away.