Complete Apathy...
Some of you know the story behind my 'gran Gordon' - my mum's mum - and how bitter and sad her life was. Some of you know first hand the panic that a letter from her could cause. One of you has seen a card arrive and me and my sister having to open it to soften the blow for my mum. 'Gran Gordon' was horrible and twisted and she only lived to make her children's life miserable. She hadn't spoken to my mum for years, after my mum hung up the phone on her cos she called me and Elaine something horrible that my mum refused to tell us. I've only met the woman a few times, about twice that I can remember, and for 8 years she sent neither me or my sister birthday or Christmas cards. Then she felt guilty about that and tried to buy us off to ease her conscience, but refused to see us so we could say thankyou for the large amounts of money she'd send us.
She's dead. She died last night, in an ambulance on transit between the two hospitals in Edinburgh cos they were transfering her. And I don't know how to feel. I don't know how I'm meant to feel. Would it make me a bad person if I'm a little glad because all the wounds and the hurts that she's created in my family might get to heal now? Does it make me a bad person because any tears I shed will be for my mum, and not for the person who died?
I'm so apathetic to the woman and that scares me. She's in my family, and yet I don't care that she's gone. I only care about the mess of broken relationships she's left behind.
She's dead. She died last night, in an ambulance on transit between the two hospitals in Edinburgh cos they were transfering her. And I don't know how to feel. I don't know how I'm meant to feel. Would it make me a bad person if I'm a little glad because all the wounds and the hurts that she's created in my family might get to heal now? Does it make me a bad person because any tears I shed will be for my mum, and not for the person who died?
I'm so apathetic to the woman and that scares me. She's in my family, and yet I don't care that she's gone. I only care about the mess of broken relationships she's left behind.