Always end on a plus!
I'm tired of bad news or bad days. I really am!
-Yesterday I broke up with Alex, he doesn't really care that much. I did it because he lied to me when my trust in him was already lacking. Although most details will remain undisclosed, he lied to me about getting me flowers and he lied to me about writing something he didn't. Both of which I didn't believe he was telling the truth on, but he swore up and down he was. Although he did eventually admit it, and although neither were life threatening or really even damaging lies, it doesn't change the fact that he lied to me. I already lost a LOT of trust when he did what he did with Kayla and that whole story. For him to add that I can't do it. He doesn't want to get back together now either; I'll admit, if he would have tried in the slightest I would have. I love him, more then he loves me. A relationship cannot work where one person cares more about the other. Until I find that I intend to remain single. Although I do like sex (okay thats an understatement), I can go without for the sake of my happiness.
-Valencia refused to give me my transcripts but told me they sent them and that they would be sent out. If my transcripts don't go to USF I'm going to be pissed. I have spent so many fucking days at the fucking school trying to get that shit worked out, if I lose my scholarship because of their dumb slow asses I am going to be so pissed! Way more then I already am!
-Because of the shit I had to do with Valencia I now have to go in at 6 tomorrow morning. I will work until 3! Thats 9 hours of waitressing. That is 9 hours of hell. Because in case you didn't know Denny's=Hell. I have never minded working before, I dread going into this place. I don't like the managers, I don't like the people I work with, and I don't like the cliental that come in. I wasn't given friday off, and because I wanted to leave one hour early yesterday I have to go in an hour early tomorrow. WTF! Give me a fucking break!
-Oh and wait I also have 2 test's on Thursday. I am supposed to study when? Please tell me? When I'm working 9 hours tomorrow, or when I'm driving out to Tampa, or is it when I'm eating the one meal a day I get to eat (because its all I seem to be eating lately). I'm unintentionally becoming almost anorexic. I am going to fail these tests. And because I was so stressed because of what happened with Alex and because I went to the movies last night and got almost no sleep I was falling asleep/trying not to cry in class and ended up leaving an hour in and not even going to my second one. So I'm missing a third of the info on both tests!
-Just incase that wasn't enough. I get home to my dad telling me I have a one in ten chance of having Celiac disease. While I realize that isn't that high, its still pretty damn high. It isn't life threatening if it is caught. It is in no way, shape, or form contagious; it is strictly genetic. It does, however, mean that I cannot eat any gluten (wheat, rye and barely). My grandma was not diagnosed until extremely late in life, and now the list of foods she can eat is less then one page. I love food! My dad was a Celiac baby. That means the chances of me having it are probably way higher then 1 in 10. My dad went to the doctors and got tests run on him, since he was when he was a baby, he prolly still is. That means I get to go to the doctors and get blood drawn. Fucking fun!
I know it seems like all I've been doing is complaining lately, but I just can't help it. I have been so unhappy lately and it is SO unlike me. Since I have been in high school I have been happy, last year was amazing. One of the best, probably the best in my life. Why am I so depressed lately?!?! I need to be happy! I am a happy person normally! I can't let this shit get to me this much! I can't fuck up, I have so much I want to do!
Well my birthday is the last day of summer classes, then I can look forward to time off and being able to see people and visit people! I'm going to work super hard at Denny's so I can walk out of there everyday with over $70 (thats what the experienced ones pull). That would mean at least $350 per week (not including if I make more on Sundays) and thats just tips not even the base pay. If I can do that I can afford to quite a couple weeks early. I have to save up $2500. If I make the $350 thats only 7 weeks of work. I think I can do that. <--My plus note for the entry :-D Yes I am a dork
-Yesterday I broke up with Alex, he doesn't really care that much. I did it because he lied to me when my trust in him was already lacking. Although most details will remain undisclosed, he lied to me about getting me flowers and he lied to me about writing something he didn't. Both of which I didn't believe he was telling the truth on, but he swore up and down he was. Although he did eventually admit it, and although neither were life threatening or really even damaging lies, it doesn't change the fact that he lied to me. I already lost a LOT of trust when he did what he did with Kayla and that whole story. For him to add that I can't do it. He doesn't want to get back together now either; I'll admit, if he would have tried in the slightest I would have. I love him, more then he loves me. A relationship cannot work where one person cares more about the other. Until I find that I intend to remain single. Although I do like sex (okay thats an understatement), I can go without for the sake of my happiness.
-Valencia refused to give me my transcripts but told me they sent them and that they would be sent out. If my transcripts don't go to USF I'm going to be pissed. I have spent so many fucking days at the fucking school trying to get that shit worked out, if I lose my scholarship because of their dumb slow asses I am going to be so pissed! Way more then I already am!
-Because of the shit I had to do with Valencia I now have to go in at 6 tomorrow morning. I will work until 3! Thats 9 hours of waitressing. That is 9 hours of hell. Because in case you didn't know Denny's=Hell. I have never minded working before, I dread going into this place. I don't like the managers, I don't like the people I work with, and I don't like the cliental that come in. I wasn't given friday off, and because I wanted to leave one hour early yesterday I have to go in an hour early tomorrow. WTF! Give me a fucking break!
-Oh and wait I also have 2 test's on Thursday. I am supposed to study when? Please tell me? When I'm working 9 hours tomorrow, or when I'm driving out to Tampa, or is it when I'm eating the one meal a day I get to eat (because its all I seem to be eating lately). I'm unintentionally becoming almost anorexic. I am going to fail these tests. And because I was so stressed because of what happened with Alex and because I went to the movies last night and got almost no sleep I was falling asleep/trying not to cry in class and ended up leaving an hour in and not even going to my second one. So I'm missing a third of the info on both tests!
-Just incase that wasn't enough. I get home to my dad telling me I have a one in ten chance of having Celiac disease. While I realize that isn't that high, its still pretty damn high. It isn't life threatening if it is caught. It is in no way, shape, or form contagious; it is strictly genetic. It does, however, mean that I cannot eat any gluten (wheat, rye and barely). My grandma was not diagnosed until extremely late in life, and now the list of foods she can eat is less then one page. I love food! My dad was a Celiac baby. That means the chances of me having it are probably way higher then 1 in 10. My dad went to the doctors and got tests run on him, since he was when he was a baby, he prolly still is. That means I get to go to the doctors and get blood drawn. Fucking fun!
I know it seems like all I've been doing is complaining lately, but I just can't help it. I have been so unhappy lately and it is SO unlike me. Since I have been in high school I have been happy, last year was amazing. One of the best, probably the best in my life. Why am I so depressed lately?!?! I need to be happy! I am a happy person normally! I can't let this shit get to me this much! I can't fuck up, I have so much I want to do!
Well my birthday is the last day of summer classes, then I can look forward to time off and being able to see people and visit people! I'm going to work super hard at Denny's so I can walk out of there everyday with over $70 (thats what the experienced ones pull). That would mean at least $350 per week (not including if I make more on Sundays) and thats just tips not even the base pay. If I can do that I can afford to quite a couple weeks early. I have to save up $2500. If I make the $350 thats only 7 weeks of work. I think I can do that. <--My plus note for the entry :-D Yes I am a dork