I don't think I'm as strong as I once though...
Well summer has been in session for a little while, however, I can hardly tell. I mean the weather is obviously hot, but me personally, I think summer, I think relax. Such could not be father from my reality. Although I thought I could do it, I'm not 100% sure now. Part of me wants to keep it up just to prove everyone who says its to much wrong; part of me wants to just say all these people are saying its to much, I'm tired, it must be to much. There are so many people I want to see, I want to talk to, I want to hang out with, but I can't; I have no time. I'm not working as much as I was last summer, but for starters my job last summer was mindless, I didn't have to know and remember who ordered what, I worked there for two years and never learned the menu, it was just an easier job; also I was not going to school.
Just going to school and working alone would not be that bad, but I also have to add driving to Tampa and back twice a week to go to school. I'm hardly seeing my parents, I'm hardly seeing Alex, I'm not seeing any of my friends (not even MBS, I miss you Katie!!). It's just so hard because I'm trying so hard to see and talk to people, and I can't tell you where my time goes. I'm hardly online, and I'm hardly watching tv. My room isn't clean, my car (my baby) is a mess! I don't know, I just feel extremely stressed right now. I'd like to ask Denny's to give me Wednesday's off to; that way I could stay in Tampa, only have to drive out and back once, and have a day off to relax so I don't over stress myself. I wouldn't lose money doing that, it costs me just as much to drive back and work as it would to just stay in Tampa (did that make sense?). I know I sound like I'm being a baby, but I am working 30+ hours as a server in one of the hardest restaurants to work at (or so people tell me), taking 5 credits in Tampa (school from 9am to 4:15pm with only an hour break) on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I want to succeed so bad; I want to do what I know some people have done all their life; I want to know that I am strong enough and determined enough to do it. In all honesty I don't know what choice I have. My parents can't afford to just put me through school; they can pay for my food and rent, which is more then most, but they can't pay for everyday living, and in all actuality they far from pay for all my food, I'll say half. So I don't have a choice. The only real choice I have is risking Denny's firing me if I ask for Wednesday's off. I don't know.
I do apologize for this entry, I just really needed to vent. Stress and I...Well we just don't work so well...I'm with my big, I need a hug!
And I don't even get to sleep with Alex when I drive out to Tampa, he works nights from 9:30 to 6. And I do mean sleep as in zzzZZZZ.
ARG!
Good news: my dads house gets internet on Sunday!
Just going to school and working alone would not be that bad, but I also have to add driving to Tampa and back twice a week to go to school. I'm hardly seeing my parents, I'm hardly seeing Alex, I'm not seeing any of my friends (not even MBS, I miss you Katie!!). It's just so hard because I'm trying so hard to see and talk to people, and I can't tell you where my time goes. I'm hardly online, and I'm hardly watching tv. My room isn't clean, my car (my baby) is a mess! I don't know, I just feel extremely stressed right now. I'd like to ask Denny's to give me Wednesday's off to; that way I could stay in Tampa, only have to drive out and back once, and have a day off to relax so I don't over stress myself. I wouldn't lose money doing that, it costs me just as much to drive back and work as it would to just stay in Tampa (did that make sense?). I know I sound like I'm being a baby, but I am working 30+ hours as a server in one of the hardest restaurants to work at (or so people tell me), taking 5 credits in Tampa (school from 9am to 4:15pm with only an hour break) on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I want to succeed so bad; I want to do what I know some people have done all their life; I want to know that I am strong enough and determined enough to do it. In all honesty I don't know what choice I have. My parents can't afford to just put me through school; they can pay for my food and rent, which is more then most, but they can't pay for everyday living, and in all actuality they far from pay for all my food, I'll say half. So I don't have a choice. The only real choice I have is risking Denny's firing me if I ask for Wednesday's off. I don't know.
I do apologize for this entry, I just really needed to vent. Stress and I...Well we just don't work so well...I'm with my big, I need a hug!
And I don't even get to sleep with Alex when I drive out to Tampa, he works nights from 9:30 to 6. And I do mean sleep as in zzzZZZZ.
ARG!
Good news: my dads house gets internet on Sunday!