(no subject)
So things are getting better. I'm starting to relax more and I think I've only had a couple headaches since my last entry which is a huge relief considering that I was getting three a day minimum. Although I do have a small one right now. My mom told me that Jason called her yesterday. His journal says that it wasn't to talk about me, but she says that she thinks it was. She told me he's going to be giving the sermon in a couple weeks. I really want to go, but I can only imagine the trouble that that would cause. I miss going there so bad. I love the family that I developed there and I love the way that I felt closer to God, being around people who believed the same way that I do. I haven't been to church since the last time I went to First Christian. I think I've moved past the feeling distant from God phase, because I"ve been thinking about him a lot lately. I talk to Eriq about God periodically. I'm not sure what he believes. We've talked about it and he's told me but I just don't understand it. Eriq acts like the true christians that I know, but he doesn't talk like them.
I spend probably 3/5 of my day with Eriq. It's nice to be able to do that. I'm not just talking about proximity, but also about being able and wanting to spent that much time with him. We went to Rachel's state tennis tournament. She lost but she played really really well. I couldn't believe some of the kills she was getting at the net. YAY RACH. I remember the girls she played because I remember them killing Brittany and I last year at the Miami Invitationals. They are a really good team. I think I was more nervous then Rachel was about the match. It made me so proud when she looked up at me while she was playing and smile while mouthing "I'm Pist." It was so cute, and it made me feel so happy to be her big sis. I'm glad I can be there for her, even though I'm not there as much as I should be.
I've been really depressed lately, but I'm coming out of it. Eriq is helping me. He stays with me all night and he'll listen to me complain about everything and he'll hold me while I cry for no reason. He's doesn't give nay advice unless I ask for it, but he does let me know that he's got some if I want it. I love the way that I feel when I'm around him. I feel protected, it's like he goes on constant alert when I'm around and he makes sure that nothing will hurt me. When he hugs me, he tucks my arms in and wraps his arms around me so gentle yet so firm. In the morning he whispers sweet nothings in my ear and kisses my cheek so soft and tender. I can't remember ever being treated this way.
I spend probably 3/5 of my day with Eriq. It's nice to be able to do that. I'm not just talking about proximity, but also about being able and wanting to spent that much time with him. We went to Rachel's state tennis tournament. She lost but she played really really well. I couldn't believe some of the kills she was getting at the net. YAY RACH. I remember the girls she played because I remember them killing Brittany and I last year at the Miami Invitationals. They are a really good team. I think I was more nervous then Rachel was about the match. It made me so proud when she looked up at me while she was playing and smile while mouthing "I'm Pist." It was so cute, and it made me feel so happy to be her big sis. I'm glad I can be there for her, even though I'm not there as much as I should be.
I've been really depressed lately, but I'm coming out of it. Eriq is helping me. He stays with me all night and he'll listen to me complain about everything and he'll hold me while I cry for no reason. He's doesn't give nay advice unless I ask for it, but he does let me know that he's got some if I want it. I love the way that I feel when I'm around him. I feel protected, it's like he goes on constant alert when I'm around and he makes sure that nothing will hurt me. When he hugs me, he tucks my arms in and wraps his arms around me so gentle yet so firm. In the morning he whispers sweet nothings in my ear and kisses my cheek so soft and tender. I can't remember ever being treated this way.