anti-wells fargo action macgyver montage sequence

[dream_logic]

required items:

• 1 ice cube
  
• 3 new order cd singles
  
• 1 prodigy cd
  
• 1 pint coffee
  
• 2 USB cables
  
• 3 sticks of orbit raspberry mint gum
  
• old coax network card
  
• shoelace
  
• internet connection (or printer driver cd)
  
• broken printer
  
• soldering iron
  
• screwdriver w/ torx wrench attachments
  
• dremel tool

steps:

1. put on 1st new order cd
   
2. reboot back to XP because linux can't get its fucking story straight *
   
3. log whole episode in lj for posterity
   
4. chew a piece of gum, take it out and stick it on the edge of the monitor to dry out
   
5. chew another piece of gum, this time for the pure pleasure of it
   
6. retrieve broken printer from other room
   
7. carefully remove case using fingernails & screwdriver
   
8. put on 2nd new order cd
   
9. clean up broken pieces of printer cover case
   
10. tie shoelace to door so kittens will play with that instead of usb cables
    
11. throw away 2nd usb cable.. the one with all the kitten chew marks in it
    
12. put ice cube in coffee and drink
    
13. chew the last piece of gum to get rid of the coffeebreath
    
14. put on 3rd new order cd - feel the energy and the success flowing through your veins
    
15. cut the end off one of the usb cables, strip back the wires
    
16. be completely unable to find a roll of solder, so melt some off of the network card
    
17. use the wirebrush/dremel attachment to clean the leads in the printer where the previous usb port was broken off
    
18. use the now dry piece of gum from the monitor to cement the naked usb cable wires to the leads in the printer
    
19. (optional) throw in thrill kill kult's 13 above the night : JOIN THE CHILDREN OF HELL!!
    
20. solder the end of the usb cord to the exposed leads in the printer
    
21. take care! DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS!!
    
22. open a window to get rid of the smell of burnt bubblegum
    
23. download and install printer drivers
    
24. power down the computer & plug in the now hardwired printer to the front usb port
    
25. put in the prodigy cd and turn that bitch up to 11!!
    
26. put several slices of paper in the printer, power it up
    
27. ...realize it's completely out of ink.
    
28. listen to rest of prodigy cd, just because

* linux is soooo much like a cool ex-girlfriend. she's, you know, cool, so you don't really want to dump her, but she can't get her drivers straight to save her life.

...i saw miss fate assisting a suicide in fate colored glasses...

...or, as oz so patiently pointed out, i could've just emailed it to my phone which i forgot had excel on it. hurrrrrr....