<3 it was the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
wow. april 13th... a lot has happened since then. okay so we went on vacation and i went to the carnival every single night, except for saturday cuz it was raining a lot i guess. one of those nights i met these kids who came with curtis and sam. they were dirkey, some other kid, and jay. jay asked me for my phone number and everything and i thought i liked him, but i was confuzzled.
sometime the next week, when school started up again, rob, dirkey, curtis, and jay came here. we all went to kellys and it was like pitch black in her basement. everyone was basically just throwing stuff around at eachother and shit like that. in case no one knows i fucking hate curtis for reasons i will say later. well he was being and asshole and shit. all flirty and gross and grabbing at anything with a vagina. errrrrr!! i wanted to smack him. then jay had to bring him home or he was gonna start to like cry. hehe.
that was the only time i actually hung out with jay so i didnt really get to know him, but i thought i kinda liked him. then, i went to revere that friday and he didnt show up. curtis had a little mini breakdown type thing cuz it was the day before his birthday and it only brought bad memories i guess. sam didnt know what to do so the whole time i tried to help her figure everything out and cheer her up. the whole time this is going on kelly and rob are like grinding on the roof (me and sam were up there too) and me and sam almost fell off cuz we were laffing so hard. haha. but then sam we got off the roof and there was john with his little pastries. there were tons. cuz he works in a coffee shop and he took home all the extra ones they were gonna throw away.
john i had already met like a while ago at the mall with his little brother justin. i bet he thinks im some kinda freak for remembering meeting him cuz apparently he didnt remember me from then. o well. i mostly remembered him cuz number one - i thought he was pretty cute, and number two - i was in a bad mood and i felt like shit so he was like all touching my neck going "smile. cummon, smile. cheer up." and shit like that and its kinda hard to forget that. (well for me it is) raaaar!! no one else remembers any of that, but whatever. but he was there friday and i remembered him and i was thinking, "wow. hes really cute". its greeeat. he loves to tell his little stories so he was telling me about some stuff. i musta looked like upset or something cuz he came over and like sat on my lap. ha. i didnt think anything of it though.
so wednesday the next week rob and chris came with john. they met us at the library and we all hung out or whatever. there were also these random girls who popped out of nowhere that chris remembered from the fall out boy concert. he kinda likes on of them i guess... which sucks cuz he also kinda likes sam i guess and she likes him... well anyway... we went to mcdonalds and then drove chris home. when we got back to kellys i sat on the couch and john layed on top of me. then they all turned the lights out, but nothing happened really, he mostly just talked... then we started like holding hands and before the end of the night we ended up making out. ha. then he and rob dropped me off at my house and they went home.
the next day curtis came and told me all this stuff about john and how hes a bad boyfriend and everything. so i was all like okay i'll go to the spring fling with him. so he asked him for me and he said yes. i was wicked happy... until the next day. eveything kinda hit me. im like, "okay. i just make out with john and think its no gonna go anywhere. he probably thinks it will... i think." then im like "oh fuck!! jay" and i felt bad. errrr!! it was the kiss. if i didnt kiss him i wouldnt have likeed him as much, i dont think. it confused me. "it was the collision of your kiss that made it so hard" <-- haha. wow. you know youre really skrewed up and pathetic when you start quoting lines like that from songs. ha.
well anyway... then afterschool rob calls kelly and tells her that johns gonna ask me out and not to say yes to jay. well he did ask me out, but i said i needed to think about it and i said, "okay?" his reply was, "no. im gonna make you answer right now. just kidding." or something like that. o yeah. he asked me after we got to kellys later that night. its was so great... we were listening to the used the entire time, their first album! haha.
then, on monday they popped out of nowhere. and rob got kicked out of our school for waiting for us. raaaar! i dont get why but whatever. tuesday they also popped out of nowhere. wednesday was the day they were supposed to actually come. rob and chris did, but john couldnt cuz he got grounded. i know it was stupid of me to be sad about it but i was. that me for ya. but he found a way to get out of his house and drove here. after everything that happened that day i realized i had to go out with him. duude i like really like him. thursday they also popped out of nowhere and we chased a fire, and somehow ended up in i think danvers. we went to this like bike and skating shop then to guitar center. it was so sad for me and sam to go there cuz we cant play anything but... well i want to but have no motivation. chris is fucking great at every instrument. no fair! then we went to kellys to pick her up and john broke her window and her mom blamed us when she got home, then appologized. we didnt tell kelly we really did do it til the next day. we went to the lake and hung out. the whole time me and john were trying to get sam and chris to hook up or whatever.
curtis fucking cheated on sam. that asshole! he also bragged about it and said she was like "innocent" or whatever. and it didnt matter cuz he had already done it before. raaar!! i cant believe i actually thought he was kewl. he seemed like the only person out of all my friends i could talk to that understood me. apperently it was an act and he sucks ass. but sam wouldnt kiss chris cuz she would feel too guilty. IM SORRY SAM FOR BEING A STUBBORN BITCH. YOU AND CHRIS ARE JUST GREAT, AND IF YOU WERE TOGETHER YOU WOULD BE SOO GREAT!! i think chris is gonna beat the shit out of curtis on wednesday when they come. awwwwww. hehe.
friday john and rob skipped like a ton periods and went to like k-mart, then came and chilled here and waited for us. they skated around breakheart and such. then we got out of school and there they were. kelly had to go home and get her hair cut and shave he legs. haha. then we went to robs and john went to work. thats basically where the night started sucking for me. robs little brother harry wouldnt leave us alone. and then curtis came and sam and him were all over eachother. i could have killed him. errrrr!! i was trying so hard to be nice to him for sams sake. robs parents are really fuct up and thats all im gonna say about them. then, after a few hours of curling up in a ball in the corner trying to ignore the sounds of sam and curtis (im not trying to be mean there), harrys fucking annoyingness, and robs parents, JOHN and chris came. rob threw harry across the room and we ran out of the house and drove off without curtis. everyone, especially john, hates curtis so robs parents were supposed to drive him home, but they werent in the best shape. so john went back and picked up curtis. it was the funniest thing in the world when we were talking about everything and rob forgot curtis was in the car. he said, "my night started to suck when CURTIS walked in to my room" or something like that. im like, "yeah. ummm. rob... you know hes in the car... right." haha. everyone except curtis was laffing their asses off. haha. he was PISSED off!!
we all went to mcdonalds then to kellys. we all slept in her basement. all im gonna say is... im never gonna forget that night. it was great. i was so hyper. and i was wicked HAPPY!!! i havent been like happy in like forever. i think im really starting to like john, but it really seems wayy too good to be true. something hasta go wrong... something will. i have really bad trust issues and i have a really hard time accepting the fact that someone likes me. i left jay a message on his myspace that im going out with john and if he wants to, im probably gonna go to the spring fling with him. i know this is kinda selfish but im wayy to happy to feel that bad about it.
yay. theyre coming on wednesday!!! maybe even tomorrow. i think i really like him. wo0t!! oh my godd. i feel so weird. im like happy!! haha. SORRY CAITLIN AND DEREK AND ANYONE ELSE WHOS MAD AT OR HATES ME!! omg, i miss john so much. haha. hellllp, theres something wrong with me!
errrrr!!! my leg wont stop its tapping!!! bibizZz.
sometime the next week, when school started up again, rob, dirkey, curtis, and jay came here. we all went to kellys and it was like pitch black in her basement. everyone was basically just throwing stuff around at eachother and shit like that. in case no one knows i fucking hate curtis for reasons i will say later. well he was being and asshole and shit. all flirty and gross and grabbing at anything with a vagina. errrrrr!! i wanted to smack him. then jay had to bring him home or he was gonna start to like cry. hehe.
that was the only time i actually hung out with jay so i didnt really get to know him, but i thought i kinda liked him. then, i went to revere that friday and he didnt show up. curtis had a little mini breakdown type thing cuz it was the day before his birthday and it only brought bad memories i guess. sam didnt know what to do so the whole time i tried to help her figure everything out and cheer her up. the whole time this is going on kelly and rob are like grinding on the roof (me and sam were up there too) and me and sam almost fell off cuz we were laffing so hard. haha. but then sam we got off the roof and there was john with his little pastries. there were tons. cuz he works in a coffee shop and he took home all the extra ones they were gonna throw away.
john i had already met like a while ago at the mall with his little brother justin. i bet he thinks im some kinda freak for remembering meeting him cuz apparently he didnt remember me from then. o well. i mostly remembered him cuz number one - i thought he was pretty cute, and number two - i was in a bad mood and i felt like shit so he was like all touching my neck going "smile. cummon, smile. cheer up." and shit like that and its kinda hard to forget that. (well for me it is) raaaar!! no one else remembers any of that, but whatever. but he was there friday and i remembered him and i was thinking, "wow. hes really cute". its greeeat. he loves to tell his little stories so he was telling me about some stuff. i musta looked like upset or something cuz he came over and like sat on my lap. ha. i didnt think anything of it though.
so wednesday the next week rob and chris came with john. they met us at the library and we all hung out or whatever. there were also these random girls who popped out of nowhere that chris remembered from the fall out boy concert. he kinda likes on of them i guess... which sucks cuz he also kinda likes sam i guess and she likes him... well anyway... we went to mcdonalds and then drove chris home. when we got back to kellys i sat on the couch and john layed on top of me. then they all turned the lights out, but nothing happened really, he mostly just talked... then we started like holding hands and before the end of the night we ended up making out. ha. then he and rob dropped me off at my house and they went home.
the next day curtis came and told me all this stuff about john and how hes a bad boyfriend and everything. so i was all like okay i'll go to the spring fling with him. so he asked him for me and he said yes. i was wicked happy... until the next day. eveything kinda hit me. im like, "okay. i just make out with john and think its no gonna go anywhere. he probably thinks it will... i think." then im like "oh fuck!! jay" and i felt bad. errrr!! it was the kiss. if i didnt kiss him i wouldnt have likeed him as much, i dont think. it confused me. "it was the collision of your kiss that made it so hard" <-- haha. wow. you know youre really skrewed up and pathetic when you start quoting lines like that from songs. ha.
well anyway... then afterschool rob calls kelly and tells her that johns gonna ask me out and not to say yes to jay. well he did ask me out, but i said i needed to think about it and i said, "okay?" his reply was, "no. im gonna make you answer right now. just kidding." or something like that. o yeah. he asked me after we got to kellys later that night. its was so great... we were listening to the used the entire time, their first album! haha.
then, on monday they popped out of nowhere. and rob got kicked out of our school for waiting for us. raaaar! i dont get why but whatever. tuesday they also popped out of nowhere. wednesday was the day they were supposed to actually come. rob and chris did, but john couldnt cuz he got grounded. i know it was stupid of me to be sad about it but i was. that me for ya. but he found a way to get out of his house and drove here. after everything that happened that day i realized i had to go out with him. duude i like really like him. thursday they also popped out of nowhere and we chased a fire, and somehow ended up in i think danvers. we went to this like bike and skating shop then to guitar center. it was so sad for me and sam to go there cuz we cant play anything but... well i want to but have no motivation. chris is fucking great at every instrument. no fair! then we went to kellys to pick her up and john broke her window and her mom blamed us when she got home, then appologized. we didnt tell kelly we really did do it til the next day. we went to the lake and hung out. the whole time me and john were trying to get sam and chris to hook up or whatever.
curtis fucking cheated on sam. that asshole! he also bragged about it and said she was like "innocent" or whatever. and it didnt matter cuz he had already done it before. raaar!! i cant believe i actually thought he was kewl. he seemed like the only person out of all my friends i could talk to that understood me. apperently it was an act and he sucks ass. but sam wouldnt kiss chris cuz she would feel too guilty. IM SORRY SAM FOR BEING A STUBBORN BITCH. YOU AND CHRIS ARE JUST GREAT, AND IF YOU WERE TOGETHER YOU WOULD BE SOO GREAT!! i think chris is gonna beat the shit out of curtis on wednesday when they come. awwwwww. hehe.
friday john and rob skipped like a ton periods and went to like k-mart, then came and chilled here and waited for us. they skated around breakheart and such. then we got out of school and there they were. kelly had to go home and get her hair cut and shave he legs. haha. then we went to robs and john went to work. thats basically where the night started sucking for me. robs little brother harry wouldnt leave us alone. and then curtis came and sam and him were all over eachother. i could have killed him. errrrr!! i was trying so hard to be nice to him for sams sake. robs parents are really fuct up and thats all im gonna say about them. then, after a few hours of curling up in a ball in the corner trying to ignore the sounds of sam and curtis (im not trying to be mean there), harrys fucking annoyingness, and robs parents, JOHN and chris came. rob threw harry across the room and we ran out of the house and drove off without curtis. everyone, especially john, hates curtis so robs parents were supposed to drive him home, but they werent in the best shape. so john went back and picked up curtis. it was the funniest thing in the world when we were talking about everything and rob forgot curtis was in the car. he said, "my night started to suck when CURTIS walked in to my room" or something like that. im like, "yeah. ummm. rob... you know hes in the car... right." haha. everyone except curtis was laffing their asses off. haha. he was PISSED off!!
we all went to mcdonalds then to kellys. we all slept in her basement. all im gonna say is... im never gonna forget that night. it was great. i was so hyper. and i was wicked HAPPY!!! i havent been like happy in like forever. i think im really starting to like john, but it really seems wayy too good to be true. something hasta go wrong... something will. i have really bad trust issues and i have a really hard time accepting the fact that someone likes me. i left jay a message on his myspace that im going out with john and if he wants to, im probably gonna go to the spring fling with him. i know this is kinda selfish but im wayy to happy to feel that bad about it.
yay. theyre coming on wednesday!!! maybe even tomorrow. i think i really like him. wo0t!! oh my godd. i feel so weird. im like happy!! haha. SORRY CAITLIN AND DEREK AND ANYONE ELSE WHOS MAD AT OR HATES ME!! omg, i miss john so much. haha. hellllp, theres something wrong with me!
errrrr!!! my leg wont stop its tapping!!! bibizZz.