(no subject)
Today was supposed to be relaxed. I was gonna play Phoenix Wright 2: Before the Armageddon and listen to the stuff I just downloaded onto my Ipod. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night thanks to a rousing bout of insomnia. However, I bumbled to work relatively content with the knowledge that today would be relaxing and the biggest stress factor would what I would do for music when my Ipod died. I made my daily round of obligatory hellos and plopped my purse down next to Magan and started searching for a chair. However, the cosmic powers that be had other plans for me. Mrs. Hernandez flies into the office we were chatting in and announces with a grave tone that there are 2 Pre-K and 2 Kindergarten substitute teachers missing. And since we were available, we had to pick our poisons and go babysit. I got stuck with Pre-K. My expression could only be comparable to this one:
Anyway, 5 hours of screaming kids, runny noses and a fucked up amalgam of Barney and the Teletubbies I started fantasizing about the sweet oblivion that Death would bestow upon me. 20 minutes later I was released from the little Hellions with scarred memories of some of the things they said. For example, one little girl was playing "house". But instead of pretending to be a mommy or a daughter, she was a cat. Now, she took it upon herself to leave her play area and approach me with a startling bit of information. "When I meow, it means I'm having my babies," she announced happily. "Excuse me?" I asked, unsure if I had heard her correctly. She repeated herself and I was, officially, curious as to what children really did learn in Preschool. Now, that aside, there was another little boy who took it upon himself to start mooning people in the bathroom. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. I was completely uncomfortable going into the boy's bathroom, especially with the knowledge that there's a bare bottom waving around inside. Fuck that. I got the principal and watched her rage at the little miscreant.
For now, I rest with ease understanding that tomorrow will be different. However, if for some reason I am forced to work with the Pre-K again, I'm committing hari-kari on the spot with a stapler and the copy machine.
Anyway, 5 hours of screaming kids, runny noses and a fucked up amalgam of Barney and the Teletubbies I started fantasizing about the sweet oblivion that Death would bestow upon me. 20 minutes later I was released from the little Hellions with scarred memories of some of the things they said. For example, one little girl was playing "house". But instead of pretending to be a mommy or a daughter, she was a cat. Now, she took it upon herself to leave her play area and approach me with a startling bit of information. "When I meow, it means I'm having my babies," she announced happily. "Excuse me?" I asked, unsure if I had heard her correctly. She repeated herself and I was, officially, curious as to what children really did learn in Preschool. Now, that aside, there was another little boy who took it upon himself to start mooning people in the bathroom. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. I was completely uncomfortable going into the boy's bathroom, especially with the knowledge that there's a bare bottom waving around inside. Fuck that. I got the principal and watched her rage at the little miscreant.
For now, I rest with ease understanding that tomorrow will be different. However, if for some reason I am forced to work with the Pre-K again, I'm committing hari-kari on the spot with a stapler and the copy machine.