musebyquotes | 1.4. Teddy Pendergrass quote
1.4. "Life didn't promise to be wonderful."
- Teddy Pendergrass
Co-written with undercoverdoc
[Follows THIS]
Alex stepped back and hung his stethoscope around his neck with a small smile. "He's doing much better and responding well to the new feeding regime with Mom. I know it's tough on her feeding him a little more often than she normally would and trying to wrestle him out of the feed before he's finished, but his BSL has evened right out, his urine output is normal, and he's starting to put some weight on. Another day or two of stability and we'll be able to think about discharging him."
"Thank you," Lachlan murmured and took over from where Alex had been checking Riley over for any changes in his progress. He and Tara had requested as much hands-on involvement in their son's care as possible, so one of them always dressed him following any examinations. He started to button up the little 'Wee Campbell' jumpsuit and listened closely to the doctor's words. "She's okay. Just tired. I'm trying to make sure she sleeps when he does, but it isnae always easy to tell a head-strong wife what to do. Actually, it's impossible, so it's best to just strongly advise. We'll be glad to have the wee one home again. It hasnae been easy."
Alex shook his head, watching Lachlan with his son closely. It was a sweet scene and Alex felt honoured to have witnessed the likes of Tara and Lachlan's parenting skills. Being a Pediatrician, he all too often saw parents who just didn't give a shit about their kids. "You look quite tired yourself, Lachlan . You could both sleep when he does," he pointed out gently. He didn't want to tread on toes and especially didn't want to tell the fellow doctor how to suck eggs. But Alex always felt just as much obligation to the parents of his patients as to the kids.
Lachlan knew he looked questionable. His eyes felt heavy and he had a constant dull ache in his head. Whenever he had an emotional set-back, it physically hit him a few days later. He merely sighed a little and nodded. "Aye," he agreed and glanced up at Alex. "It's been a hard week, to say the least."
"I take it you didn't thump your best friend just for the hell of it," Alex said with a small smirk. It had spread around the hospital pretty rapidly, of course. It had been an unexpected turn of events that took Alex by surprise, especially when he learnt it happened where Lachlan had been shot. But this was the first time he had actually spoken one-on-one with the Scot since it happened and it seemed odd considering Lachlan was usually so placid. It could have relevance to his case, though, so Alex needed to address it some way, if to just rule it out as nothing. In saying that, he doubted highly that Riley Browne was anyone of significance to the drug leads. He had been in Scotland at the time of the shooting and seemed pretty straight-laced. But on the other hand, he was stabbed in the throat with a syringe by a drug addict. Alex couldn't rule out the six degrees of separation just because Lachlan and Riley were best friends. In many criminal cases, it was family or friends who perpetrated the acts.
Lachlan lifted his son into his arms and wrapped the bunny rug around him, tucking it under his little feet. He offered a faint smirk in return. He could see the amusing side to it now he knew Riley was okay and things were okay with Tara. He started to rhythmically rub Riley's back to try and encourage him to drop off to sleep. "He startled me. But if you've heard that gossip, you probably know the ins and outs of it all and I appreciate that you havenae really broached the whole subject with me before. It's easier to wear the new and worried dad cap rather than the new and worried dad who works here and was nearly murdered by gunshot hat. Sometimes it does rear it's ugly head, though, and it drags me down. This past week is a good example of that, which is why I look like a piecefo shit someone stepped in."
Alex didn't outwardly react, but he hadn't thought for an instant Lachlan would directly raise the subject with him. In fact, when he was put undercover here, he never expected to directly interact with the victim at all. It was like winning a prize, but if only it hadn't taken Lachlan's infant son to get seriously sick to pave the way for it. And for maybe the merest of moments, he felt a pang of guilt that Lachlan was oblivious to what he really was. "You're only a worried new father here, Lachlan . The only reason the other is in play right now is because I'm worried you're leading yourself into a risky exhaustion. Have you got medication to help you sleep or help with the emotional and psychological reactions?" he asked.
"Is the Pope Catholic?" Lachlan returned evenly and then shook his head. "Sorry. I havenae been off meds since it happened. There isnae any medication for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's therapy and talking and relying on people around you to keep you sane. But sometimes you just run out of words. Some days, there just isnae a way to fight the negative heaviness. These days, I'm mostly okay a majority of the time, but I'm nay ever going to be able to completely escape it. It's just a matter of dealing."
"Are you dealing?" Alex asked quietly.
"I wasnae," was Lachlan's small reply accompanied by a shrug. "Something happened to bring it all back for a few days, but it's okay now. Riley unfortunately got me in the midst of a drowning depression where my awareness of my fears was heightened..." He suddenly stopped talking and pierced Alex with an intent gaze. "Why are you so interested? Itisnae really going to make much of a difference to my son's treatment, is it?"
Alex sensed that he had toed over that line just a little too far. Suspicion was never going to gain him Lachlan's trust. He shook his head. "No, not at all," he conceded. "My apologies for pushing too much. I was just worried you weren't getting enough rest yourself. You don't need me to tell you that taking care of a newborn is intense, but an ill one is draining, mind, body and soul."
Lachlan nodded, still rubbing his son's back. "Aye, and dinnae mind. You havenae pushed too much. It isnae like anything with my situation is much of a secret in this place. I've only just got over the smug satisfaction that the bairn looks like me... some still didnae believe he was even mine." His voice was flat and tired, resolute to the many months of hell he'd gone through to get to this place. "The thing is, I havenae anything to hide. If you want to know anything, please ask me or my wife directly. Gossip is... creative, at best."
It could've been a prime opening, but Alex just smiled with a nod. He didn't want to piss all over the glimmer of trust offered freely here. Victim impact of a crime of this depth was one of the main avenues of investigation. He didn't want to be a pushy bastard and take advantage of Lachlan's exhaustion or polite honesty. Baby Campbell falling ill had been a spanner in the works from day one. It was going to take much more time than originally thought. And Alex had the time. There was no rush. Rushing without fail led to errors of judgement and missed clues. "I'm learning that. Apparently I used to be a Playgirl centrefold in my teens," he said with a smirk at the rumour about himself littering around the hospital.
Lachlan smirked. "Oh aye. That's clever. It could be much worse, believe me." He stopped the rubbing briefly to meet Alex's eyes. "Thanks for the understanding, Dr Carter. It's the wee bursts of support like that making the harder shit easier to wade through. I cannae thank you enough for all the efficient treatment of Riley, too. I cannae imagine it's been easy having parents like Tara and me eyeing your every move."
Alex waved his hand with a smile. "I prefer parents like you. Because I know when we send him home, he's going to have the best care and attention possible. But get some sleep, okay? You really do look like you need it," he advised and with a polite nod, ended his shift with even more food for thought now than he had fifteen minutes ago.
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,459
- Teddy Pendergrass
Co-written with undercoverdoc
[Follows THIS]
Alex stepped back and hung his stethoscope around his neck with a small smile. "He's doing much better and responding well to the new feeding regime with Mom. I know it's tough on her feeding him a little more often than she normally would and trying to wrestle him out of the feed before he's finished, but his BSL has evened right out, his urine output is normal, and he's starting to put some weight on. Another day or two of stability and we'll be able to think about discharging him."
"Thank you," Lachlan murmured and took over from where Alex had been checking Riley over for any changes in his progress. He and Tara had requested as much hands-on involvement in their son's care as possible, so one of them always dressed him following any examinations. He started to button up the little 'Wee Campbell' jumpsuit and listened closely to the doctor's words. "She's okay. Just tired. I'm trying to make sure she sleeps when he does, but it isnae always easy to tell a head-strong wife what to do. Actually, it's impossible, so it's best to just strongly advise. We'll be glad to have the wee one home again. It hasnae been easy."
Alex shook his head, watching Lachlan with his son closely. It was a sweet scene and Alex felt honoured to have witnessed the likes of Tara and Lachlan's parenting skills. Being a Pediatrician, he all too often saw parents who just didn't give a shit about their kids. "You look quite tired yourself, Lachlan . You could both sleep when he does," he pointed out gently. He didn't want to tread on toes and especially didn't want to tell the fellow doctor how to suck eggs. But Alex always felt just as much obligation to the parents of his patients as to the kids.
Lachlan knew he looked questionable. His eyes felt heavy and he had a constant dull ache in his head. Whenever he had an emotional set-back, it physically hit him a few days later. He merely sighed a little and nodded. "Aye," he agreed and glanced up at Alex. "It's been a hard week, to say the least."
"I take it you didn't thump your best friend just for the hell of it," Alex said with a small smirk. It had spread around the hospital pretty rapidly, of course. It had been an unexpected turn of events that took Alex by surprise, especially when he learnt it happened where Lachlan had been shot. But this was the first time he had actually spoken one-on-one with the Scot since it happened and it seemed odd considering Lachlan was usually so placid. It could have relevance to his case, though, so Alex needed to address it some way, if to just rule it out as nothing. In saying that, he doubted highly that Riley Browne was anyone of significance to the drug leads. He had been in Scotland at the time of the shooting and seemed pretty straight-laced. But on the other hand, he was stabbed in the throat with a syringe by a drug addict. Alex couldn't rule out the six degrees of separation just because Lachlan and Riley were best friends. In many criminal cases, it was family or friends who perpetrated the acts.
Lachlan lifted his son into his arms and wrapped the bunny rug around him, tucking it under his little feet. He offered a faint smirk in return. He could see the amusing side to it now he knew Riley was okay and things were okay with Tara. He started to rhythmically rub Riley's back to try and encourage him to drop off to sleep. "He startled me. But if you've heard that gossip, you probably know the ins and outs of it all and I appreciate that you havenae really broached the whole subject with me before. It's easier to wear the new and worried dad cap rather than the new and worried dad who works here and was nearly murdered by gunshot hat. Sometimes it does rear it's ugly head, though, and it drags me down. This past week is a good example of that, which is why I look like a piecefo shit someone stepped in."
Alex didn't outwardly react, but he hadn't thought for an instant Lachlan would directly raise the subject with him. In fact, when he was put undercover here, he never expected to directly interact with the victim at all. It was like winning a prize, but if only it hadn't taken Lachlan's infant son to get seriously sick to pave the way for it. And for maybe the merest of moments, he felt a pang of guilt that Lachlan was oblivious to what he really was. "You're only a worried new father here, Lachlan . The only reason the other is in play right now is because I'm worried you're leading yourself into a risky exhaustion. Have you got medication to help you sleep or help with the emotional and psychological reactions?" he asked.
"Is the Pope Catholic?" Lachlan returned evenly and then shook his head. "Sorry. I havenae been off meds since it happened. There isnae any medication for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's therapy and talking and relying on people around you to keep you sane. But sometimes you just run out of words. Some days, there just isnae a way to fight the negative heaviness. These days, I'm mostly okay a majority of the time, but I'm nay ever going to be able to completely escape it. It's just a matter of dealing."
"Are you dealing?" Alex asked quietly.
"I wasnae," was Lachlan's small reply accompanied by a shrug. "Something happened to bring it all back for a few days, but it's okay now. Riley unfortunately got me in the midst of a drowning depression where my awareness of my fears was heightened..." He suddenly stopped talking and pierced Alex with an intent gaze. "Why are you so interested? Itisnae really going to make much of a difference to my son's treatment, is it?"
Alex sensed that he had toed over that line just a little too far. Suspicion was never going to gain him Lachlan's trust. He shook his head. "No, not at all," he conceded. "My apologies for pushing too much. I was just worried you weren't getting enough rest yourself. You don't need me to tell you that taking care of a newborn is intense, but an ill one is draining, mind, body and soul."
Lachlan nodded, still rubbing his son's back. "Aye, and dinnae mind. You havenae pushed too much. It isnae like anything with my situation is much of a secret in this place. I've only just got over the smug satisfaction that the bairn looks like me... some still didnae believe he was even mine." His voice was flat and tired, resolute to the many months of hell he'd gone through to get to this place. "The thing is, I havenae anything to hide. If you want to know anything, please ask me or my wife directly. Gossip is... creative, at best."
It could've been a prime opening, but Alex just smiled with a nod. He didn't want to piss all over the glimmer of trust offered freely here. Victim impact of a crime of this depth was one of the main avenues of investigation. He didn't want to be a pushy bastard and take advantage of Lachlan's exhaustion or polite honesty. Baby Campbell falling ill had been a spanner in the works from day one. It was going to take much more time than originally thought. And Alex had the time. There was no rush. Rushing without fail led to errors of judgement and missed clues. "I'm learning that. Apparently I used to be a Playgirl centrefold in my teens," he said with a smirk at the rumour about himself littering around the hospital.
Lachlan smirked. "Oh aye. That's clever. It could be much worse, believe me." He stopped the rubbing briefly to meet Alex's eyes. "Thanks for the understanding, Dr Carter. It's the wee bursts of support like that making the harder shit easier to wade through. I cannae thank you enough for all the efficient treatment of Riley, too. I cannae imagine it's been easy having parents like Tara and me eyeing your every move."
Alex waved his hand with a smile. "I prefer parents like you. Because I know when we send him home, he's going to have the best care and attention possible. But get some sleep, okay? You really do look like you need it," he advised and with a polite nod, ended his shift with even more food for thought now than he had fifteen minutes ago.
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,459