Just rewards
For those of you who have been keeping track of the ups and downs of my relationship with Ashley there is more. After finally realizing my mistakes and beginning to fix them, after working so hard on making myself better, after preparing my life to be flexible so I can move, it's once and for all...over. She told me she doesn't want anything beyond friendship (of course, dont they always say that?) How can you be just friends when hearing that she just spent 24 hours with a guy makes you so upset that you get a migrane? Some of you will rejoice in her decision, maybe because you think shes right and I can't change. Maybe because it means I wont be moving, who knows. My big thing is that once more I have destroyed any hope of being with her, broke her trust (as in she trusts no one), and drove her away. She told me "You used to be the man of my dreams, now your the man of my nightmares" Harsh honesty as usual. I did ask for it. I guess all of this pain Im feeling right now, and all the tears are my just rewards for what she went through... somehow I feel it isnt enough... I am afraid of what else is to come.