(no subject)
“So what lump of coal equivalent are you going to give to my mother this year?”
“I’ve never given your mum a lump of coal, Draco.”
“I know, I know. That’s why I said equivalent. You’re both more creative than that. I know you’re still smarting from the ‘Beginner’s Guide to Basic Grooming’ book that she gave you for your birthday so I thought you would have something special planned for her.”
“I do, but I’m not telling. You know it still surprises me that you deal with our dislike of each other with such equanimity.”
“It’s a gift. The way I see it, you only act that way because you both love me so much.”
“That’s twisted.”
“It’s true though. She wouldn’t hate you half as much if she wasn’t worried about losing me to you. You wouldn’t be hostile in return if you weren’t afraid that one day she’ll convince me to leave you. So every time she says something nasty to you, and every time you take a jab at her…it’s like you’re saying you love me.”
“Only you would see it that way.”
“I know. Aren’t you glad you love me? You’re the luckiest witch in the entire world. Your beloved husband is happy to let you hate his mother as much as you want.”
“I’ve never given your mum a lump of coal, Draco.”
“I know, I know. That’s why I said equivalent. You’re both more creative than that. I know you’re still smarting from the ‘Beginner’s Guide to Basic Grooming’ book that she gave you for your birthday so I thought you would have something special planned for her.”
“I do, but I’m not telling. You know it still surprises me that you deal with our dislike of each other with such equanimity.”
“It’s a gift. The way I see it, you only act that way because you both love me so much.”
“That’s twisted.”
“It’s true though. She wouldn’t hate you half as much if she wasn’t worried about losing me to you. You wouldn’t be hostile in return if you weren’t afraid that one day she’ll convince me to leave you. So every time she says something nasty to you, and every time you take a jab at her…it’s like you’re saying you love me.”
“Only you would see it that way.”
“I know. Aren’t you glad you love me? You’re the luckiest witch in the entire world. Your beloved husband is happy to let you hate his mother as much as you want.”