happy birthday to the boy who means more than the world to me... <3 I LOVE YOU
ok so im back at the wag... been here for a full week already and im glad to be here. Missed all my friends, love getting to see my baby every single day. classes arent that bad, my schedule is pretty good too.. alot of spare time to do WHATEVER i want! so thats good.... but being here and being injured really sucks. and by really i mean REALLLLLY. Trying to get around this campus on crutches is like a big joke. the hills and stairs are a real bitch and NOTHING is handicapp accessable. Everyone on this campus has been SO nice to me. I cant even tell you how many people open doors for me, ask if i need anything, or just go out of their way to help me out. and although its really great of everyone and stuff, i hate it. again i feel helpless and needy and dependent on people. I just want to do things on my own... i want to be able to bring all my food to my table at dinner without making 20 trips because i only have one hand to do it. I'm tired of slowing people down when they're walking someplace on campus. I'm tired of it taking like 20 minutes for me to get up or down a pair of stairs. I want to be able to carry a bunch of shit and not have to stop every 5 minutes because its falling off my arms and i need to stop so i can use my hands and fix it. basically, im tired of being a gimp. being a gimp does NOT make me feel like myself at all. I just feel lost i guess. I just want to go back to my crazy self again... running around attacking people and just being out of control. its hard to be out of control when you are so limited to the things you can do...
i dunno enough about my inabilities to do ANYTHING. Today is Jay's birthday!!! woo!! he turns the big 21!! Unfortunately he has his first football game of the season in pennsylvania today so he will be gone for the whole day! He'll be back tonight and hopfully we can fill his little body with lots and lots of beer so its a good 21st bday! haha We might hang out in his apartment or maybe even venture out to a bar or something. we'll see i guess... just hope he is happy with whatever he decides to do. :-) just really happy that i get to spend it with him! <3
i dunno enough about my inabilities to do ANYTHING. Today is Jay's birthday!!! woo!! he turns the big 21!! Unfortunately he has his first football game of the season in pennsylvania today so he will be gone for the whole day! He'll be back tonight and hopfully we can fill his little body with lots and lots of beer so its a good 21st bday! haha We might hang out in his apartment or maybe even venture out to a bar or something. we'll see i guess... just hope he is happy with whatever he decides to do. :-) just really happy that i get to spend it with him! <3