How am i supposed to dream with all this static in my head...

[dramaticstars]

I dont know why... but im depressed. maybe its because i cant do much on my own with these damn crutches. maybe its because im stuck at home and i have no friends here anymore. maybe its because ever since ive had my surgery i havent been able to do one thing of excercising and i feel absolutely disgusting. maybe its because i miss my wagner friends so freakin much. maybe its because ive been seperated from my boyfriend for 3 weeks. maybe im depressed about not being able to do one ounce of dancing this semester. maybe my extended family is just not what it used to be and that is so fuckin sad. maybe its because i cant have 3 hour conversations with my boyfriend anymore because a) theres no time and b) i have nothing to fucking say anymore... my life is shit. i dont do ANYTHING from day to day and i fuckin hang out with my parents. or im stuck in this terrible room by myself. and i fucking miss him so much.... its so hard. it really is... this surgery killed me... gave me too much fuckin time to think. i hate thinking.

maybe its all of these things put together and more... maybe its the pms talking... i dont even fuckin know anymore. im just praying that wagner will make it all go away. im scared.