Not a happy camper
So since I posted my last entry, which was actually written on Friday but posted yesterday due to a hectic work schedule, things have been beginning a slight downward slope. It appears that I'm being either excluded or ignored by a small group of people I once considered friends, my two brothers will be up in the area for a concert, but don't want to take the extra hour to come and see me, and for some unknown reason, I'm lacking the motivation to go to the gym, making me feel slothful.
I dunno, I'm just in a crummy mood. I think a good chunk of it is that in three years I have yet to establish a strong friend base, and am beginning to feel lonely and isolated again. James returns phone calls after about a week or two, and I realized that with exception of my Mom and Cousin, who were in the area and decided to stop by, I have not been visited by any family members whatsoever. The hard part is that the ones who have made it up this way have not stopped in, and my Dad and his family, though they promise almost every year, have yet to come up. It's been about two weeks since the last time I talked to any of them because I haven't called. I'm always the one to call. And I'm tired of being the one.
The worst part about it is every time I'm down in Southern California, I spend as much time with my family as I can. But every dinner with my dad turns into a chance for him to try and bond with Chris or Greg. Yes, I am jealous. Yes, I am bitter. I spend my money to be there and I get shafted because Greg avoids them.
In addition, Audrey is coming up for her SEO conference in August. I went once and it was a good time crashing parties and whatnot. But whenever I ask when it is, she stops responding. She makes plans for us to get the first copies of the Ender's Game graphic novels and meet halfway and read them together. But why would I bank on that or get my hopes up when I can't even get a set date for something in one month?
Sometimes, I wonder what the point is. This is one of those times.
I apologize for my mood, but right now I just kind of want everyone to f*ck off.
It's been real...somethin'.
I dunno, I'm just in a crummy mood. I think a good chunk of it is that in three years I have yet to establish a strong friend base, and am beginning to feel lonely and isolated again. James returns phone calls after about a week or two, and I realized that with exception of my Mom and Cousin, who were in the area and decided to stop by, I have not been visited by any family members whatsoever. The hard part is that the ones who have made it up this way have not stopped in, and my Dad and his family, though they promise almost every year, have yet to come up. It's been about two weeks since the last time I talked to any of them because I haven't called. I'm always the one to call. And I'm tired of being the one.
The worst part about it is every time I'm down in Southern California, I spend as much time with my family as I can. But every dinner with my dad turns into a chance for him to try and bond with Chris or Greg. Yes, I am jealous. Yes, I am bitter. I spend my money to be there and I get shafted because Greg avoids them.
In addition, Audrey is coming up for her SEO conference in August. I went once and it was a good time crashing parties and whatnot. But whenever I ask when it is, she stops responding. She makes plans for us to get the first copies of the Ender's Game graphic novels and meet halfway and read them together. But why would I bank on that or get my hopes up when I can't even get a set date for something in one month?
Sometimes, I wonder what the point is. This is one of those times.
I apologize for my mood, but right now I just kind of want everyone to f*ck off.
It's been real...somethin'.