Poop.
So I am trying to study right now, as well as work on my campaign. I am not being successful in either department. haha, I will read my book later. I just need a break. A break from what you may ask? A break from facing my future. My future...oh my, it is so near and yet I know I am not ready to face it. I am not ready to be on my own and do everything for myself. I am scared of what lies beyond Gilbert, yet I tell myself I do want to be out of this place.
I know I want to move on, yet I have inhibitions about doing. I am makinf excuses for myself so that I can stay here. i.e. running an election that I know I will win and then have to stay at CGCC for another year. I am finding reasons for me to stay when I know I should not, but I am scared to move on. I am scared to face life outside of my parent's protection, and outside the people I know and rely on for support.
I want to be a kid again, well a high school kid again. When I was in high school I had no worries about being in the outside world. The only worries were that of pointless high school drama, and where me and my friends were going after school. I miss the days of waiting for drama club to come, and work on the shows and get close with everyone in the cast. Life in high school was so much simpler and I loved everyday of it. But the four years went fast and I was flung into the world that i am in now. A world that is between what I had and what I am becoming. I am stuck in the middle and I cannot free myself. I just want to scream because i cannot take it anymore.
I have got to go, I am picking matt up from work.
I know I want to move on, yet I have inhibitions about doing. I am makinf excuses for myself so that I can stay here. i.e. running an election that I know I will win and then have to stay at CGCC for another year. I am finding reasons for me to stay when I know I should not, but I am scared to move on. I am scared to face life outside of my parent's protection, and outside the people I know and rely on for support.
I want to be a kid again, well a high school kid again. When I was in high school I had no worries about being in the outside world. The only worries were that of pointless high school drama, and where me and my friends were going after school. I miss the days of waiting for drama club to come, and work on the shows and get close with everyone in the cast. Life in high school was so much simpler and I loved everyday of it. But the four years went fast and I was flung into the world that i am in now. A world that is between what I had and what I am becoming. I am stuck in the middle and I cannot free myself. I just want to scream because i cannot take it anymore.
I have got to go, I am picking matt up from work.