More heart wrenching material
Ugh...so yestarday was probably one of the most lazy days in my life. I swear to god i did nothing at all the entire day. I watched TV, I snacked, and I lied around everywhere. There wasn't really anything else to do, but be lazy. In fact for the most part it was quite nice...but then again it was nicer when I finally got my act together and went out.
I showered then went and got Erin. I took her to dinner at Floridino's and that was nice. We had some good chatting and it was just nice to spend that time with erin. After that we went to Blockbuster for some unknown apparant reason. Queer as folk Season 3 is on DVD...so Briand and Erin, we are going to have another homoerotic weekend again...sometime soon. Well after we decided there was nothing at blockbuster we wanted...we went to Albertson's to buy ice cream and sprinkles...hoorah! We wacthed Sailor Moon movies until Zach arrived, and right as Zach arrived Brian got back from Tucson. So we got him and then we went to my house where we hung out for a bit.
In the two minutes where we went inside and almost went upstairs I went to get my phone that I left in my truck. In that time, in that little amount of time...matt called. That would be the third time in four nights that I have missed his call. I was so angry, luckily this time he left a message. The message entailed wanting me to pick him up from work tonight because there is something he wants to talk to me about. Grr at me for not keeping my phone with me at all times. It has been plaugeing my mind and heart since I got that message, and I am awaiting for him to call me today so that I can tell him that I will go get him from work. If this is something that requires him to talk to me in person and not just say it over the phone, it must be something big. Of course I have hopes it will be what I want to hear come out of his mouth, but the chances of that happening are slim to none. But I will go see what he has to say...and because of it being so late at night, i can only predict what will happen, so that means I will be bringing a change of clothes for tomorrow. haha. In my heart I am debating what my answer would be if he asked me to come back to him. You would think that I would say yes so fast, but I was thinking about it today, and I do need to think about it. If that is what he asks then am I just setting myself up for him to break up with me again? Would this time be different and would he be ready for the long haul? This is something I will spend a lot of time thinking about because there is no doubt of my feelings for him, but there is doubt of whether or not we could stay together. I would like to bring him to Passover as my boyfriend, but if I bring him as my close friend, that would be just as good. Ryan said to beware friends with benefits (as he is the expert, haha) and I plan on listening to that advice. I could not deal with the emotional strain of being his friend with benefits...I would need something more from him. I dunno, I should not be getting my hopes up at all in regards of what could happen tonight. He has had a tough couple of weeks and could just use a close friend to be there for a hug, which I would be more than happy to do. I have feelings for him, and I worry about him at times, so if there is ever anything I could do for him that I would make him feel better I would be more than willing to do that for him.
In other news, flippn' Stanford lost last night in the NCAA Tourney, I cannot believe that. Stanford was a team that went 29-1 through the entire season and scrwed up the one game that meant something. Stupid Pac-10 teams. UofA lost because of their stupidity, and washington lost just barely...they were a team who deserved to go farther. ugh.
I showered then went and got Erin. I took her to dinner at Floridino's and that was nice. We had some good chatting and it was just nice to spend that time with erin. After that we went to Blockbuster for some unknown apparant reason. Queer as folk Season 3 is on DVD...so Briand and Erin, we are going to have another homoerotic weekend again...sometime soon. Well after we decided there was nothing at blockbuster we wanted...we went to Albertson's to buy ice cream and sprinkles...hoorah! We wacthed Sailor Moon movies until Zach arrived, and right as Zach arrived Brian got back from Tucson. So we got him and then we went to my house where we hung out for a bit.
In the two minutes where we went inside and almost went upstairs I went to get my phone that I left in my truck. In that time, in that little amount of time...matt called. That would be the third time in four nights that I have missed his call. I was so angry, luckily this time he left a message. The message entailed wanting me to pick him up from work tonight because there is something he wants to talk to me about. Grr at me for not keeping my phone with me at all times. It has been plaugeing my mind and heart since I got that message, and I am awaiting for him to call me today so that I can tell him that I will go get him from work. If this is something that requires him to talk to me in person and not just say it over the phone, it must be something big. Of course I have hopes it will be what I want to hear come out of his mouth, but the chances of that happening are slim to none. But I will go see what he has to say...and because of it being so late at night, i can only predict what will happen, so that means I will be bringing a change of clothes for tomorrow. haha. In my heart I am debating what my answer would be if he asked me to come back to him. You would think that I would say yes so fast, but I was thinking about it today, and I do need to think about it. If that is what he asks then am I just setting myself up for him to break up with me again? Would this time be different and would he be ready for the long haul? This is something I will spend a lot of time thinking about because there is no doubt of my feelings for him, but there is doubt of whether or not we could stay together. I would like to bring him to Passover as my boyfriend, but if I bring him as my close friend, that would be just as good. Ryan said to beware friends with benefits (as he is the expert, haha) and I plan on listening to that advice. I could not deal with the emotional strain of being his friend with benefits...I would need something more from him. I dunno, I should not be getting my hopes up at all in regards of what could happen tonight. He has had a tough couple of weeks and could just use a close friend to be there for a hug, which I would be more than happy to do. I have feelings for him, and I worry about him at times, so if there is ever anything I could do for him that I would make him feel better I would be more than willing to do that for him.
In other news, flippn' Stanford lost last night in the NCAA Tourney, I cannot believe that. Stanford was a team that went 29-1 through the entire season and scrwed up the one game that meant something. Stupid Pac-10 teams. UofA lost because of their stupidity, and washington lost just barely...they were a team who deserved to go farther. ugh.