Free to a good home: One shitty priest. Ugly ginger hair. Needs to be neutered. Not housebroken.

[At first, this looks like normal home video stuff -- Braska is behind the camera, trying to direct Jecht and a recalcitrant Auron into a picture. But then the screen fizzes, and goes blank, and when it comes back it's just Jecht, staring into the sphere.]

( video beneath the cut )

Right. So. I guess maybe there's one or two -- maybe more'n that -- fine. Most've the chicks -- I mean, women here, I've been kind of a pig to. So, y'know, fuck it... I'm sorry and shit.

[Jecht is virused with chastity and feels he needs to apologize for his previous behavior.]

( Part One: In which 'stabbing the shoopuff' is not a metaphor )

( OOC cut for context lol )

Like it ain't bad enough I gotta slog across this godfersaken hellhole on foot with only Big Red an' his boyfriend fer company. But you think there'd be at least one halfway decent piece've ass anywhere we stopped fer the night. Fuck! Help a guy out, community. I just want one night with booze an' a couple chicks with faces that don't look like Big ( Read more... )

[Fuzzy video]

Oh, c'mon! I pay out the ass fer this thing and it's got someone else's crap on it? Fuckin' awesome.

Quit yappin', all've ya. I gotta make a video for my kid. Like he gives a shit about this fuckin' hick village...

So, you've probably been wondering where I was.

[Kefka is dangling, pinned, between three statues: one angelic diva, one devilish knight, one demonic dancer. His shirt and pants are stained dark red from a nasty-looking stab wound in his stomach. And the ground they're all on is slowly crumbling away to reveal...sky. Uh oh.]It has been a really ( Read more... )

[Jecht is sitting amongst ruins, outside what looks to be a destroyed temple.]

I thought we'd get here an' there'd be answers, ya know? I thought -- I thought we'd figure things out here. [He laughs.] Guess we did, at that.

This is it for me, community. Ain't like I'll be sad t'see the end of this place, fuck.

Guess that's it.

[OOC: Last ( Read more... )

I went to bed with two beautiful women on either side, passed out on a bed of feathers and closing my eyes in post bedding bliss.

I wake up alone, filthy and Jecht. His life is horrible and he should be made into a charity case. And when I say him, I mean me. Cross.