(no subject)
I know Wy's been busy occupying herself with my blog archives these days. She reads, feels for me, feels bad that she cannot be this and that, gets upset with herself, then get me frustrated. I get frustrated because I don't get why she wants to dig out my past to 'understand me better' because I really think she's just trying to fix something that isn't broken. So today, in a bid to try and understand her trying to understand me better, I reread my archives. I read about the whole issues with Cheryl, how much anger I'd when I first got my case, how much of a drama king Ice was (and still is, up till now), and how I fell in love with G. I read about the things he used to do for me, and our rocky relationship through the appearance of A and .. I felt mostly nonchalance actually. It was kinda like a Hey-oh-yes-I-remember-that feeling. Some parts I smiled, usually at how I'd played up situations when blogging. I don't miss G at all, I'm just glad that I've these memories to keep.
So I got to September 2007 and then thought, 'What the fuck, two years ago, some 730 days ago. Why the hell do I still want to read this shit ?' So I stopped. Yes, the past made me who I'm today, but what I've today - right now - gives me absolutely NO reason to look back at the past.
Don't you see, baby ? You're another individual, and I don't need you to live up (so to speak) to G. I didn't fall in love with you because you resembled XXX, spoke like YYY, or acted like ZZZ. I love you for you, and that's just that. You make me happy; so happy, it can be seen from how I'm betraying my body to grow sideways without (much of) a care. Please let those things go, because you're acting almost as stupidly as Nic does when she goes on about G to Lae. Because we are us and we are gonna take on the world. Because you've set a whole new benchmark for anyone else in future. Because one fine day, someone will read my blog and get jealous that you've made me so happy, I can shit rainbows from my ass. Because you and I, we never had to look back and compare. Because y'know.. I love you, and you only.
So I got to September 2007 and then thought, 'What the fuck, two years ago, some 730 days ago. Why the hell do I still want to read this shit ?' So I stopped. Yes, the past made me who I'm today, but what I've today - right now - gives me absolutely NO reason to look back at the past.
Don't you see, baby ? You're another individual, and I don't need you to live up (so to speak) to G. I didn't fall in love with you because you resembled XXX, spoke like YYY, or acted like ZZZ. I love you for you, and that's just that. You make me happy; so happy, it can be seen from how I'm betraying my body to grow sideways without (much of) a care. Please let those things go, because you're acting almost as stupidly as Nic does when she goes on about G to Lae. Because we are us and we are gonna take on the world. Because you've set a whole new benchmark for anyone else in future. Because one fine day, someone will read my blog and get jealous that you've made me so happy, I can shit rainbows from my ass. Because you and I, we never had to look back and compare. Because y'know.. I love you, and you only.