Honestly, you promised me I'd never go and find you faking.
Immersion. Everyone seems so inundated by what they do. I suppose that means I'm not the only person who forgets that relaxation is a part of life too. Something goes wrong and everyone panics! If this happens then this will happen and this will happen, followed by this! What we forget is that for the most part, we're not in a life or death situation. We can throw in the towel, admit that we screwed up, and start fresh. We can always start fresh! Hell, I do it every day because it feels great! I have a friend who has stepped out into the real world and gotten stomped to pieces. He tried again. did better, but again, he wasn't able to cut it (this time, it was because of theft though.) His third occurance is happening right now, and he's doing better than ever. The simple thing is that when he fell, someone caught him. He had to ask them to, but when they heard his pleading, they caught him.
mmmmm, Ask. Just ask. No one will ever be in the know how to do and handle everything themselves. One of our greatest accomplishments is adapting the ability to share knowledge. Sharing knowledge ups your success rate big time. I mean come on, look at the difference between those who go to a class (a decent class mind you) and those who don't. Either you know your stuff or you don't. When your response becomes "???" or "I don't know" or "no clue" you get two options. forget about it or find the answer. The more time you spend thinking about how miserable things are, the less time you have to get over it.
My Mom and I drank some wine while setting up for a garage sale, so forgive any shortcomings in the previous and future statements. thank you.
Today I woke up to a phone call from good ol' Jamie Palafox. It was almost like waking up next to her again. :) speaking to her really jumpstarted my day, especially since I hadn't heard her voice for quite some time. (Yes, I consider a week a long time.) I helped my sis out and baked some fish fillets and got rolling. Well I didn't roll very far. I started working out in a way that Arnold Shwarzen.....Terminator guy used to work out, just for kicks. I wasn't able to complete 3 sets, it's good stuff! Well, after that, It's like dark matter slapped me in the face. Suddenly everything mental slipped away. I was hit by a huge feeling of emptyness, and I for some reason, I wasn't in despair. I didn't have enough emotion to care. Confusion, about life, death, love, and time. Guilt about judgement, right, wrong, truths and consequences. Regret about life choices, personality adaptations, behaviors and norm selection. (Jamie seems right about the process of adaptation, it's more instinctual to allow the environment to change you, than to change for the environment.) All of these things crushed me, but something was wrong outside of me, so I had to swallow this random state of being. It came back here and there through out the day, but it wasn't as powerful.
The rest of my day was pretty mundane, transfering iPod music, taking care of school errands, eating, hanging up garage sale posters etc etc.
EXCEPT OH WOW:
I was strolling back home from hanging up an extra garage sale poster, and a helicopter was flying over head. I was daydreaming that a spot light lit me up and that the police were after me. This thought came up because earlier, when I was setting up the garage sale in the garage, a couple walked past. they must have thought I was a random guy stealing from an open garage because a cop car showed up a few minutes later....ANYWAYS. I'm looking up at the chopper dreaming and suddenly a massive bright light, burning as bright as ignited magnesium streaks across the sky for at least a few miles. The biggest shooting star I've ever seen. It actually looked like a falling star, not just a streak in the sky. It was so magnificent that I stopped dead in my tracks for a long moment, watching it zoom through the abyss before becoming one with it. I smiled the whole time, thinking "how lucky was that? I got to witness a miracle." Yep, it's a miracle. Yes I know it's all really science, just a fat ass rock disentigrating in the earth's thick atmosphere. But science aside, it was a moment that stopped my heart and took my breath away. A flash of brilliance you might say. It was a miracle to me.
Then I walk inside, drink wine while deciding prices for all the junk to sell and here I am. Not a second of animation completed. no pencil markings on my sketch pad. I didn't get done what I had planned. But I am still happy that I did something.
\Dragoshi
oh yeah. I had an entire poem stored in my head, but it all went down the tubes when my mom made me drink wine with her. damn it. It was a really nice one. Perhaps it'll come back in the morning. But for some reason when I was buzzed I felt like a little kid again. Things had meaning other than what they were intended for, the senses were all still new and exhilarating..and well other things as well. That's what's missing between now and then. Passion. huh, go figure.
mmmmm, Ask. Just ask. No one will ever be in the know how to do and handle everything themselves. One of our greatest accomplishments is adapting the ability to share knowledge. Sharing knowledge ups your success rate big time. I mean come on, look at the difference between those who go to a class (a decent class mind you) and those who don't. Either you know your stuff or you don't. When your response becomes "???" or "I don't know" or "no clue" you get two options. forget about it or find the answer. The more time you spend thinking about how miserable things are, the less time you have to get over it.
My Mom and I drank some wine while setting up for a garage sale, so forgive any shortcomings in the previous and future statements. thank you.
Today I woke up to a phone call from good ol' Jamie Palafox. It was almost like waking up next to her again. :) speaking to her really jumpstarted my day, especially since I hadn't heard her voice for quite some time. (Yes, I consider a week a long time.) I helped my sis out and baked some fish fillets and got rolling. Well I didn't roll very far. I started working out in a way that Arnold Shwarzen.....Terminator guy used to work out, just for kicks. I wasn't able to complete 3 sets, it's good stuff! Well, after that, It's like dark matter slapped me in the face. Suddenly everything mental slipped away. I was hit by a huge feeling of emptyness, and I for some reason, I wasn't in despair. I didn't have enough emotion to care. Confusion, about life, death, love, and time. Guilt about judgement, right, wrong, truths and consequences. Regret about life choices, personality adaptations, behaviors and norm selection. (Jamie seems right about the process of adaptation, it's more instinctual to allow the environment to change you, than to change for the environment.) All of these things crushed me, but something was wrong outside of me, so I had to swallow this random state of being. It came back here and there through out the day, but it wasn't as powerful.
The rest of my day was pretty mundane, transfering iPod music, taking care of school errands, eating, hanging up garage sale posters etc etc.
EXCEPT OH WOW:
I was strolling back home from hanging up an extra garage sale poster, and a helicopter was flying over head. I was daydreaming that a spot light lit me up and that the police were after me. This thought came up because earlier, when I was setting up the garage sale in the garage, a couple walked past. they must have thought I was a random guy stealing from an open garage because a cop car showed up a few minutes later....ANYWAYS. I'm looking up at the chopper dreaming and suddenly a massive bright light, burning as bright as ignited magnesium streaks across the sky for at least a few miles. The biggest shooting star I've ever seen. It actually looked like a falling star, not just a streak in the sky. It was so magnificent that I stopped dead in my tracks for a long moment, watching it zoom through the abyss before becoming one with it. I smiled the whole time, thinking "how lucky was that? I got to witness a miracle." Yep, it's a miracle. Yes I know it's all really science, just a fat ass rock disentigrating in the earth's thick atmosphere. But science aside, it was a moment that stopped my heart and took my breath away. A flash of brilliance you might say. It was a miracle to me.
Then I walk inside, drink wine while deciding prices for all the junk to sell and here I am. Not a second of animation completed. no pencil markings on my sketch pad. I didn't get done what I had planned. But I am still happy that I did something.
\Dragoshi
oh yeah. I had an entire poem stored in my head, but it all went down the tubes when my mom made me drink wine with her. damn it. It was a really nice one. Perhaps it'll come back in the morning. But for some reason when I was buzzed I felt like a little kid again. Things had meaning other than what they were intended for, the senses were all still new and exhilarating..and well other things as well. That's what's missing between now and then. Passion. huh, go figure.