Boys
So I have finally decided where it feels like I stand with Phil. I'm like his best friend with benefits... no wait, I'm just a friend with benefits. I know that there should be some things that are kept to your self, or at least not shared all the time, but when it feels like he knows everything about me and I'm not even sure he's who he says he is... there's something wrong. And for the life of me I can't make him understand that. I don't feel very comfortable with him, cuz it feels like everything he says is a cover-up for something I'll learn about later.
Mabe I'm just the stereotypical girl, expecting her boyfriend to understand what she meant even when thats not what she said, expecting him to get every little iceberg that she lets show through. But how can two people date when they aren't even at the same level. Not that I'm trying to diss on him or his family, but we have two totally different lifestyles and expectations from life. My parents expect me to go to college, get a good job and probably live as good as we do now, if not better. I honestly don't know if his mom expects anything out of him. I feel like a stranger in his life, and I feel like he's intruding on mine.
If either of us have changed for the other, I feel like it has been me. I don't have any of my friends from when we met, all of his friends are now mine,sort of. If it came down to it, they would still choose him and I would be left all alone. But I guess thats what I deserve for letting him take over my life. I never thought about skipping school before I met him, I never thought about spending an entire weekend with someone and hating every minute of time spent with him. I never thought that it would be so hard to leave something I despise so damn much.
Well the boy is here to help me figure out a program...
and mabe we can talk about this
*kisses*
~Kendra
Mabe I'm just the stereotypical girl, expecting her boyfriend to understand what she meant even when thats not what she said, expecting him to get every little iceberg that she lets show through. But how can two people date when they aren't even at the same level. Not that I'm trying to diss on him or his family, but we have two totally different lifestyles and expectations from life. My parents expect me to go to college, get a good job and probably live as good as we do now, if not better. I honestly don't know if his mom expects anything out of him. I feel like a stranger in his life, and I feel like he's intruding on mine.
If either of us have changed for the other, I feel like it has been me. I don't have any of my friends from when we met, all of his friends are now mine,sort of. If it came down to it, they would still choose him and I would be left all alone. But I guess thats what I deserve for letting him take over my life. I never thought about skipping school before I met him, I never thought about spending an entire weekend with someone and hating every minute of time spent with him. I never thought that it would be so hard to leave something I despise so damn much.
Well the boy is here to help me figure out a program...
and mabe we can talk about this
*kisses*
~Kendra