(no subject)
Yeah okay so my christmas is going very strangely and crappily right now.
I fed my sister's cats last night at two in the morning because her sorry ass 17 year old cat that was beat up over ten years ago but she wouldn't put to sleep so now it limps around and has a kitty bmi of like 12 was meowing next to the food dishes. Instead of cleaning out the old food I just took two small plates from the cabinet to put the food on cause it was 230 in the morning and I was only up to finish the stupid book I was reading. Now she's pissed because she can never ever ever ever eat off those plates again even after they've been washed. Can we say OCD? Plus she's over self-medicated herself on pot and it annoys me because she used to be a vibrant smart little girl and now she's fried her brain on too many drugs and it makes me sad. Now I have to be here through friday because for some reason I thought I'd want to visit my sister for a week.
On sunday I flew from my sister's in Phoenix to my Grandpa's in San Diego. I stayed at a hotel that night and took the evening off not telling him I was in town. THen I went to visit him all day on Monday. I felt so guilty for only staying a day but he's got alzheimers and my last trip to see him was very weird. Last time he told my how skinny and beautiful I was and was giving me weird dirty old man looks. Creepy. So I decided to make this a very very short visit. I feel horrible about that.
1. He talked about women's weight in general, or my weight in particular at least a dozen times if not more in a 12 hour timespan. It's no wonder weight and food issues run in my family.
2. He's a fucking racist.
3. He's abusive towards my mom and now blames her for everything after she's done so much for him and has practically disowned her.
4. He has alzheimer's so his brain right now is a little fucked up. He also has frontal lobe disease from too much drinking. (intermittent low grade alcoholism, not super duper alcoholism) I showed him a picture of my boyfriend and he said, yeah! That's a great picture of you! WHat are you drinking there? Uh.. okay gramps. Then he asked if I had two sisters. Anne and Kar- Uh, yep that's right gramps. I AM KAREN. He confused the words boy and girl a couple times. It was odd and odder all day long. BUt you can't argue at all with him because his world isn't based on logic or properly functioning brain matter.
SO I decided to ask grandpa for a bunch of old picture for my mom because she's pretty much not welcome in that house anymore and I don't think she or I trust her brothers to divide things equally in the future. I'll have to post copies of the pictures later. I was a fucking cute-ass little kid! I was skinny and normal at one point in my childhood! I'm not quite sure when exactly I got chubby but I was a healthy and happy little kid for a while. It all went downhill after we moved to Iowa. I really don't want to live in that state when I grow up.
One of the coolest pictures I found to take to make copies of for everyone was given to my grandpa by a friend of his who was a camera-man for the navy during the war. The photos are of Yamomoto (SP) the Japanese General who surrendered for the Japanese and his entourage getting off a plane before going to the ship to sign the surrender treaty. Crazy eh?
Oh, and don't read Emma's secret. I was given the book for christmas and it's a great build up with no follow through or big news at the end. Plus all it does for 500 pages is talk about how beautiful, skinny, smart, and accomplished everyone is. Really I had to work not to be triggered by the damn book. Really, if you do read it you'll hate yourself for it at the end.
I fed my sister's cats last night at two in the morning because her sorry ass 17 year old cat that was beat up over ten years ago but she wouldn't put to sleep so now it limps around and has a kitty bmi of like 12 was meowing next to the food dishes. Instead of cleaning out the old food I just took two small plates from the cabinet to put the food on cause it was 230 in the morning and I was only up to finish the stupid book I was reading. Now she's pissed because she can never ever ever ever eat off those plates again even after they've been washed. Can we say OCD? Plus she's over self-medicated herself on pot and it annoys me because she used to be a vibrant smart little girl and now she's fried her brain on too many drugs and it makes me sad. Now I have to be here through friday because for some reason I thought I'd want to visit my sister for a week.
On sunday I flew from my sister's in Phoenix to my Grandpa's in San Diego. I stayed at a hotel that night and took the evening off not telling him I was in town. THen I went to visit him all day on Monday. I felt so guilty for only staying a day but he's got alzheimers and my last trip to see him was very weird. Last time he told my how skinny and beautiful I was and was giving me weird dirty old man looks. Creepy. So I decided to make this a very very short visit. I feel horrible about that.
1. He talked about women's weight in general, or my weight in particular at least a dozen times if not more in a 12 hour timespan. It's no wonder weight and food issues run in my family.
2. He's a fucking racist.
3. He's abusive towards my mom and now blames her for everything after she's done so much for him and has practically disowned her.
4. He has alzheimer's so his brain right now is a little fucked up. He also has frontal lobe disease from too much drinking. (intermittent low grade alcoholism, not super duper alcoholism) I showed him a picture of my boyfriend and he said, yeah! That's a great picture of you! WHat are you drinking there? Uh.. okay gramps. Then he asked if I had two sisters. Anne and Kar- Uh, yep that's right gramps. I AM KAREN. He confused the words boy and girl a couple times. It was odd and odder all day long. BUt you can't argue at all with him because his world isn't based on logic or properly functioning brain matter.
SO I decided to ask grandpa for a bunch of old picture for my mom because she's pretty much not welcome in that house anymore and I don't think she or I trust her brothers to divide things equally in the future. I'll have to post copies of the pictures later. I was a fucking cute-ass little kid! I was skinny and normal at one point in my childhood! I'm not quite sure when exactly I got chubby but I was a healthy and happy little kid for a while. It all went downhill after we moved to Iowa. I really don't want to live in that state when I grow up.
One of the coolest pictures I found to take to make copies of for everyone was given to my grandpa by a friend of his who was a camera-man for the navy during the war. The photos are of Yamomoto (SP) the Japanese General who surrendered for the Japanese and his entourage getting off a plane before going to the ship to sign the surrender treaty. Crazy eh?
Oh, and don't read Emma's secret. I was given the book for christmas and it's a great build up with no follow through or big news at the end. Plus all it does for 500 pages is talk about how beautiful, skinny, smart, and accomplished everyone is. Really I had to work not to be triggered by the damn book. Really, if you do read it you'll hate yourself for it at the end.