So long ago...
I was reading through my old lj entries out of boredom, and I happened upon my own little soap opera I had been writing. "Of Donkeys and Evil Twins" was its name, and it will never be a famous thing. Nonetheless, I found it entertaining, so I'm reposting the old posts to entertain myself. BWAHA
2002-01-09 - 7:11 p.m.
Today was a nice sleeping day, I slept through all my classes because I felt...err, not so well. Oh, yes, here is the beginning of the soap opera, where I just explain some of the characters "Of Donkeys and Evil Twins":
Joel, an unlikely character, is his own grandfather. He married a widow who had a grown up daughter. The widow's name is Marian, who has an evil twin, named Mary Ann, who is associated with the mafia. Joel's father Jordan married Marian's grown up daughter named Catrice. Joel and Marian have a son named Jason, who is now also Jordan's half brother and Joel's own uncle. As if things weren't confusing enough, Catrice and Jordan have a son named Dave, who is not only Joel's grandson, but also his half brother. Joel is being studied by Sophia, a wannabe scientist, because she is obsessed with the idea of somebody being their own grandfather. Sophia also did a few experiments earlier in her life on combining human and donkey DNA. The result was a batch of talking donkeys, one of those donkey's is friends with Mary Ann, and now all the talking donkeys are employed in the mafia. Phew, that was a lot.
And today's moral is:
"Be careful of who you marry, and make sure your dad doesn't marry your daughter, because you know what your dad wants, so hire a talking donkey to kick some sense into your old man before you become your own grandpa."
2002-01-10 - 2:50 p.m.
"Of Donkeys and Evil Twins: Part 2, The Confusion Begins"
Joel and Marian sat in their living room watching the recap episode of "Survivor." Marian looked at Joel, "When is your father/son coming over to visit us?" Joel replied, "Not anytime soon, he hates this show." Marian shrugged and went back to watching the Windex commercial that was now showing on the brief yet seemingly endless interlude. "Survivor" finally came back on and as she stared into the screen, she could have sworn she saw a man standing in the background that looked exactly like her first husband, Geoffrey. Marian blinked in amazement, she knew her husband had been dead for years, he had disappeared mere weeks after her evil twin had tried to seduce him. She sighed and looked at her husband/grandson, and at the life she now had. Yes, it was a confusing life, especially since that woman Sophia constantly stalked Marian's family. Marian suspected Sophia had a secret crush on her, but the implication of Sophia being a lesbian was unheard of in the rest of the world since some prominent scientists actually respected her research. Marian also had the notion that Sophia was employing spies to keep an eye on Joel and family. Every since Sophia had engineered those talking donkeys every major talk show wanted to have her make a guest appearance. Joel and Marian had tired of all the talk shows they went on to explain their odd relation situation. At that moment, Marian heard a strange weezing sound, but then noticed it was only Joel snoring. "He doesn't like 'Survivor,'" she shook her head and turned back to the television just in time to miss the pair of donkey ears appearing in the window across the room.
And the moral of today's story is:
"A Windex commercial can be just as interesting and intellectually stimulating as an episode of "Survivor."
2002-01-11 - 4:15 p.m.
"Guns don't kill people, physics kill people!" Dick(Third Rock)
"Of Donkeys and Evil Twins: Part 3, Manure?"
Meanwhile, in Sophia's lab....
"Sophia, something horrible!! Something awful!! Something not very good at all has happened!!!!" a panting man with a thick English accent screamed. Sophia looked at him and tilted her head in puzzlement. "What exactly is wrong this time George?" she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in an agitated manner. "Remember when I had to go collect those dung samples in Africa for your analysis on the eating habits of adult male lions?" George pleaded with Sophia to remember. She looked at him, and then said in that tone, {we all know that tone [when a mother thinks you actually told your sibling to eat a mud pie(which your sibling then ate)and you try to make her understand the truth... fine, disbelieving is a better word, okay?!]}and said, "No."
He just shook his head, and continued in his mad rave, "There was a t.v. show being taped there when I got that sample, a fairly popular t.v. show..." George looked at Sophia pitifully and said "'Suvivor'"....
Today's moral is:
"Don't get caught sifting through manure, somebody could be watching, but chances are they aren't smart enough for you to worry about their opinions hurting your reputation anyways."
2002-01-14 - 7:39 p.m.
"Of Donkeys and Evil Twins: Part three, the Intermission"
A pair of pink elephants with wings drift across the stage while a watermelon hallucinates in the desert. A yellow and purple horse that turns into a lion gallops onto the back of one of the elephants then rips off its wings. Then a dimetridon soars over head and grabs the lion's tale. The lion falls onto the watermelon and then a dvd falls from heaven. But no electricity exists, thus no dvd player could play the dvd if anyone could even find a dvd player. Then a gundam slashes up the stage and everybody is happy. Then Joel woke up and saw a pair of donkey ears disappearing from the window.
Today's moral is:
"I need more sleep." P.S. For Kyle's sake, it was a watermelon powered gundam. Don't ask anymore.
2002-04-15 - 12:08 a.m.
Darn the bad luck...
It turns out the donkeys have taken over the world and the mafia killed off all the main characters in my soap opera. How sad is that? I should have expected it, ya know, it coming from my own mind and stuff... and, well, actually, I did. I didn't like them. Let's face it, the entire story was screwed up. The donkeys killed the mafia, something about they couldn't stand taking orders from humans any longer. I think Sophia actually died of cancer, and they blamed Joel for it, and some computer hacker did something and... yeah. It was messed up. Trust me, you don't wanna know. They're all dead now, and it's a good thing too.
Today's moral:
Shantell shouldn't write soap operas unless she isn't awake, for the good of the world.
2002-01-09 - 7:11 p.m.
Today was a nice sleeping day, I slept through all my classes because I felt...err, not so well. Oh, yes, here is the beginning of the soap opera, where I just explain some of the characters "Of Donkeys and Evil Twins":
Joel, an unlikely character, is his own grandfather. He married a widow who had a grown up daughter. The widow's name is Marian, who has an evil twin, named Mary Ann, who is associated with the mafia. Joel's father Jordan married Marian's grown up daughter named Catrice. Joel and Marian have a son named Jason, who is now also Jordan's half brother and Joel's own uncle. As if things weren't confusing enough, Catrice and Jordan have a son named Dave, who is not only Joel's grandson, but also his half brother. Joel is being studied by Sophia, a wannabe scientist, because she is obsessed with the idea of somebody being their own grandfather. Sophia also did a few experiments earlier in her life on combining human and donkey DNA. The result was a batch of talking donkeys, one of those donkey's is friends with Mary Ann, and now all the talking donkeys are employed in the mafia. Phew, that was a lot.
And today's moral is:
"Be careful of who you marry, and make sure your dad doesn't marry your daughter, because you know what your dad wants, so hire a talking donkey to kick some sense into your old man before you become your own grandpa."
2002-01-10 - 2:50 p.m.
"Of Donkeys and Evil Twins: Part 2, The Confusion Begins"
Joel and Marian sat in their living room watching the recap episode of "Survivor." Marian looked at Joel, "When is your father/son coming over to visit us?" Joel replied, "Not anytime soon, he hates this show." Marian shrugged and went back to watching the Windex commercial that was now showing on the brief yet seemingly endless interlude. "Survivor" finally came back on and as she stared into the screen, she could have sworn she saw a man standing in the background that looked exactly like her first husband, Geoffrey. Marian blinked in amazement, she knew her husband had been dead for years, he had disappeared mere weeks after her evil twin had tried to seduce him. She sighed and looked at her husband/grandson, and at the life she now had. Yes, it was a confusing life, especially since that woman Sophia constantly stalked Marian's family. Marian suspected Sophia had a secret crush on her, but the implication of Sophia being a lesbian was unheard of in the rest of the world since some prominent scientists actually respected her research. Marian also had the notion that Sophia was employing spies to keep an eye on Joel and family. Every since Sophia had engineered those talking donkeys every major talk show wanted to have her make a guest appearance. Joel and Marian had tired of all the talk shows they went on to explain their odd relation situation. At that moment, Marian heard a strange weezing sound, but then noticed it was only Joel snoring. "He doesn't like 'Survivor,'" she shook her head and turned back to the television just in time to miss the pair of donkey ears appearing in the window across the room.
And the moral of today's story is:
"A Windex commercial can be just as interesting and intellectually stimulating as an episode of "Survivor."
2002-01-11 - 4:15 p.m.
"Guns don't kill people, physics kill people!" Dick(Third Rock)
"Of Donkeys and Evil Twins: Part 3, Manure?"
Meanwhile, in Sophia's lab....
"Sophia, something horrible!! Something awful!! Something not very good at all has happened!!!!" a panting man with a thick English accent screamed. Sophia looked at him and tilted her head in puzzlement. "What exactly is wrong this time George?" she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in an agitated manner. "Remember when I had to go collect those dung samples in Africa for your analysis on the eating habits of adult male lions?" George pleaded with Sophia to remember. She looked at him, and then said in that tone, {we all know that tone [when a mother thinks you actually told your sibling to eat a mud pie(which your sibling then ate)and you try to make her understand the truth... fine, disbelieving is a better word, okay?!]}and said, "No."
He just shook his head, and continued in his mad rave, "There was a t.v. show being taped there when I got that sample, a fairly popular t.v. show..." George looked at Sophia pitifully and said "'Suvivor'"....
Today's moral is:
"Don't get caught sifting through manure, somebody could be watching, but chances are they aren't smart enough for you to worry about their opinions hurting your reputation anyways."
2002-01-14 - 7:39 p.m.
"Of Donkeys and Evil Twins: Part three, the Intermission"
A pair of pink elephants with wings drift across the stage while a watermelon hallucinates in the desert. A yellow and purple horse that turns into a lion gallops onto the back of one of the elephants then rips off its wings. Then a dimetridon soars over head and grabs the lion's tale. The lion falls onto the watermelon and then a dvd falls from heaven. But no electricity exists, thus no dvd player could play the dvd if anyone could even find a dvd player. Then a gundam slashes up the stage and everybody is happy. Then Joel woke up and saw a pair of donkey ears disappearing from the window.
Today's moral is:
"I need more sleep." P.S. For Kyle's sake, it was a watermelon powered gundam. Don't ask anymore.
2002-04-15 - 12:08 a.m.
Darn the bad luck...
It turns out the donkeys have taken over the world and the mafia killed off all the main characters in my soap opera. How sad is that? I should have expected it, ya know, it coming from my own mind and stuff... and, well, actually, I did. I didn't like them. Let's face it, the entire story was screwed up. The donkeys killed the mafia, something about they couldn't stand taking orders from humans any longer. I think Sophia actually died of cancer, and they blamed Joel for it, and some computer hacker did something and... yeah. It was messed up. Trust me, you don't wanna know. They're all dead now, and it's a good thing too.
Today's moral:
Shantell shouldn't write soap operas unless she isn't awake, for the good of the world.