It's Texas
Given all the things I feel I should talk about, I really should have set aside more time to write out an entry. Ah well, so goes procrastination. So, more in depth about that Texas thang and a peak into my mind...
While I was in Arizona, I realized just how much I really did hate living with my family. Do I think my family is a bad family? No, I don't. I just didn't feel like they respected me as a person, and perhaps in their minds there was a good reason to treat me like I was incapable of surviving on my own. I can't blame them for that, I mean, after a few years on my own I come back twenty pounds under my ideal weight, sickly pale, unable to eat decently sized meals, and recovering from breaking up from a four year relationship. I wasn't in the best of shape, not by a long shot. With that being said, I really didn't want to be treated like I was a teenager that didn't understand how difficult surviving in "the real world" could be. I had seen it, and been battered to a pulp by it. I love my family, I really do. I just can't stand them for extended periods of time, especially not now. At this point in my life, I don't expect to have everything figured out. I don't want kids anytime soon, I don't want to settle into the self-perpetuating trailer trash lifestyle, popping out kids, living off welfare, getting divorces and getting into new just as dysfuntional relationships. Sadly, it seemed that's all my family thought I was destined to become. I really want to figure out what direction to take my life in, but I have no idea where to even start analyzing. I love geology, that hasn't changed, though now I'm unsure if I could ever really picture myself as a full fledged scientist. I doubt I have the mental prowess and problem solving capabilities to come up with original solutions to new problems, or even come up with decent theses. Perhaps I need a more structured work in my future, but I have no idea, absolutely none, about what work that would be.
I didn't get to see Flint in Arizona, though the whole time I kept hoping that there was a chance to steal him away. While lounging around alone in the hotel room, by that Saturday I decided I couldn't bear the idea of going back to Ohio with my family. The freedom to choose my own pizza toppings... the allure was too great. So instead of going back to Ohio, I got a plane ticket to Texas. I surprised myself with that one. Once in Texas, I got to realize what it was like to feel like a person again. Everybody here is awesome, and I'm incredibly happy I've made such great friends since I got here. I did feel a little akward the first couple of days, especially after not having really ever talked to Christie beforehand, and only having been talking to Kyle for a couple months. Being around James was easy, but I already considered him a fairly close friend before I arrived here in the lonestar state. Then I got to meet Casey and Shannon, who are both incredibly entertaining people. It's odd, though I had known James the longest, I hang around with Casey and Christie more often. James said something about it being a bad idea to get me and Christie together... I'm not sure if that was before or after the porn shop... or if it had something to do with large amounts of sugar that have been consumed since my arrival. I'm really happy to be here, it's been a while since I felt like I belonged anywhere. So thank all of you for taking me in ^_^ Thanks to James and Kyle for inviting me down here, and hosting me while I searched for a job. And many huge thanks to Kyle for everything, I dunno how I'll ever repay you. No amount of meatloaf I can bake will ever make us even =P Now I have a job and have the capability to become a functional individual. WHOOO!!
And to my Flint, thank you for being so understanding about all of this. I know my roommate situation is kind of akward for you, as well as the sudden change in so many things. Here is a good place for me for now, and thank you for humoring my spontaneity. You know I love ya, and I can bide my time until things are in such an arrangement that you and I can be together. Just think, someday, I'll bake muffins just for you. And I still have your Valentine's day present to give you =P
Time to go and celebrate the birthday of the mighty James. Yay!! I have a social life and fun people to be around!! Whee!!!
While I was in Arizona, I realized just how much I really did hate living with my family. Do I think my family is a bad family? No, I don't. I just didn't feel like they respected me as a person, and perhaps in their minds there was a good reason to treat me like I was incapable of surviving on my own. I can't blame them for that, I mean, after a few years on my own I come back twenty pounds under my ideal weight, sickly pale, unable to eat decently sized meals, and recovering from breaking up from a four year relationship. I wasn't in the best of shape, not by a long shot. With that being said, I really didn't want to be treated like I was a teenager that didn't understand how difficult surviving in "the real world" could be. I had seen it, and been battered to a pulp by it. I love my family, I really do. I just can't stand them for extended periods of time, especially not now. At this point in my life, I don't expect to have everything figured out. I don't want kids anytime soon, I don't want to settle into the self-perpetuating trailer trash lifestyle, popping out kids, living off welfare, getting divorces and getting into new just as dysfuntional relationships. Sadly, it seemed that's all my family thought I was destined to become. I really want to figure out what direction to take my life in, but I have no idea where to even start analyzing. I love geology, that hasn't changed, though now I'm unsure if I could ever really picture myself as a full fledged scientist. I doubt I have the mental prowess and problem solving capabilities to come up with original solutions to new problems, or even come up with decent theses. Perhaps I need a more structured work in my future, but I have no idea, absolutely none, about what work that would be.
I didn't get to see Flint in Arizona, though the whole time I kept hoping that there was a chance to steal him away. While lounging around alone in the hotel room, by that Saturday I decided I couldn't bear the idea of going back to Ohio with my family. The freedom to choose my own pizza toppings... the allure was too great. So instead of going back to Ohio, I got a plane ticket to Texas. I surprised myself with that one. Once in Texas, I got to realize what it was like to feel like a person again. Everybody here is awesome, and I'm incredibly happy I've made such great friends since I got here. I did feel a little akward the first couple of days, especially after not having really ever talked to Christie beforehand, and only having been talking to Kyle for a couple months. Being around James was easy, but I already considered him a fairly close friend before I arrived here in the lonestar state. Then I got to meet Casey and Shannon, who are both incredibly entertaining people. It's odd, though I had known James the longest, I hang around with Casey and Christie more often. James said something about it being a bad idea to get me and Christie together... I'm not sure if that was before or after the porn shop... or if it had something to do with large amounts of sugar that have been consumed since my arrival. I'm really happy to be here, it's been a while since I felt like I belonged anywhere. So thank all of you for taking me in ^_^ Thanks to James and Kyle for inviting me down here, and hosting me while I searched for a job. And many huge thanks to Kyle for everything, I dunno how I'll ever repay you. No amount of meatloaf I can bake will ever make us even =P Now I have a job and have the capability to become a functional individual. WHOOO!!
And to my Flint, thank you for being so understanding about all of this. I know my roommate situation is kind of akward for you, as well as the sudden change in so many things. Here is a good place for me for now, and thank you for humoring my spontaneity. You know I love ya, and I can bide my time until things are in such an arrangement that you and I can be together. Just think, someday, I'll bake muffins just for you. And I still have your Valentine's day present to give you =P
Time to go and celebrate the birthday of the mighty James. Yay!! I have a social life and fun people to be around!! Whee!!!