oil and water
My art proffesor obviously has a higher appreciation of my abilities than i do.
i tried to tell him that the last time i entered an art exibition, it was one of the single most disasterous, cruel and esteem destroying-feeling of nakedness experiences that i have ever had, well maybe not the worst, but the memory of it makes me shudder. its not that i think i stink, though sometimes i do, its the experience of seeing my work on the wall, more importantly, other people seeing my work on the wall and critiquing it. i guess the feeling is very close to what i would feel if my journal was stolen from me and somehow published or framed and on display. i tried to explain this to him and his response was, yeah i know, but you should anyway. so i didnt feel like i got the situation across to him in its entirety, but it was nice of him to ask unpon later reflection. maybe i did get it across to him and what i feel is normal and sort of like going to your first day of school. terrible, nervewreaking, but something you have to do and will get over... but i nerver really liked elementary school, so i guess im doomed.
my teacher is smokin' though. whew! man is he hot.
im working on self portraits right now, and i am starting to enjoy it. though the self portrait, in my opinion, is a psycological exercise. so, it was a little painfull at first, getting the portrait to be honest and to actually look like me. which is a combination of mastering some skill and mastering my ego. i have yet to put glasses on it. but, i am really enjoying oil paint as a medium and i am finding that the reason i never really enjoyed painting on paper, but really enjoyed painting on walls was directly linked to my distaste of water colors. oil is much more...fun and forgiving. though, funny thing is that my teacher says that i paint in oil, in a manner that is reminiscent of water colors, very light and in washes. i think this is due to my hesitancy and i need to become more comfortable with the canvas and that if i make a mistake it will be fine. i need to take a canvas outside and beat the hell out of it or something. he says that it shows i have a sensitive hand, and the mans attractivness made me apreciate his perspective even more.
every time he comes over and looks at my work i think im gonna fail and hes all, oh yes this is coming along fine....and im saved again for the moment.
i tried to tell him that the last time i entered an art exibition, it was one of the single most disasterous, cruel and esteem destroying-feeling of nakedness experiences that i have ever had, well maybe not the worst, but the memory of it makes me shudder. its not that i think i stink, though sometimes i do, its the experience of seeing my work on the wall, more importantly, other people seeing my work on the wall and critiquing it. i guess the feeling is very close to what i would feel if my journal was stolen from me and somehow published or framed and on display. i tried to explain this to him and his response was, yeah i know, but you should anyway. so i didnt feel like i got the situation across to him in its entirety, but it was nice of him to ask unpon later reflection. maybe i did get it across to him and what i feel is normal and sort of like going to your first day of school. terrible, nervewreaking, but something you have to do and will get over... but i nerver really liked elementary school, so i guess im doomed.
my teacher is smokin' though. whew! man is he hot.
im working on self portraits right now, and i am starting to enjoy it. though the self portrait, in my opinion, is a psycological exercise. so, it was a little painfull at first, getting the portrait to be honest and to actually look like me. which is a combination of mastering some skill and mastering my ego. i have yet to put glasses on it. but, i am really enjoying oil paint as a medium and i am finding that the reason i never really enjoyed painting on paper, but really enjoyed painting on walls was directly linked to my distaste of water colors. oil is much more...fun and forgiving. though, funny thing is that my teacher says that i paint in oil, in a manner that is reminiscent of water colors, very light and in washes. i think this is due to my hesitancy and i need to become more comfortable with the canvas and that if i make a mistake it will be fine. i need to take a canvas outside and beat the hell out of it or something. he says that it shows i have a sensitive hand, and the mans attractivness made me apreciate his perspective even more.
every time he comes over and looks at my work i think im gonna fail and hes all, oh yes this is coming along fine....and im saved again for the moment.