Re: A Little White Lie (5/?)
anonymous
May 3 2011, 14:07:32 UTC
A few minutes later they had seats at the bar and fresh drinks in hand.
“All right, love. Spill. What’s the deal with your gorgeous sister? Why aren’t she and Anders shagging like rabbits already?”
Bethany sighed. “You’re asking me, but I honestly don’t get it. I’ve never seen a situation Autumn couldn’t handle -- except for men. For some reason, every time she meets a man she’s attracted to, she clams up and can’t open her mouth. And when she tries to get past that and actually make a move, she ends up sounding like a brothel worker.”
Isabela laughed. “Oh, this I’ve got to hear,” she said. “What does she say?”
“Well,” said Bethany, “there was a farmer’s son when we were teenagers in Lothering. He was a couple of years older than her and didn’t know either of us existed. But she had such a crush on him. One day, she got up all her nerve, walked out to his farm where he was working, and asked him if he was looking for a good place to sow his seed.”
Isabela choked on her drink.
“I know,” Bethany said. “The worst part was, she was completely oblivious to the double meaning. Well, until after she said it.”
“I don’t mean to belittle her horror,” said Isabela, “but that actually sounds like a line most men would fall over themselves for. Especially from a woman who looks like Hawke.”
“You’re...not wrong. He took her up on it. Had his way with her in the barn, then told all his friends. The next day, she ran up to him in town, all smiles. He laughed at her. They all laughed at her. Then one of his friends asked her if he could ‘sow his seed,’ too.”
“Andraste’s tits, that’s awful.” Isabela frowned at Bethany. “I was looking for a good laugh, but this is tragic.”
“It was, a bit. Autumn went home and cried for an hour. Then she went back out and broke his nose.”
“That’s the Hawke we all know and love. Pity she didn’t break something a little more dear to him than his nose.”
“She accomplished her goal, anyway. No one in Lothering ever talked about the...incident, again.”
Bethany took a drink. “Then, there was that friend of Carver’s,” she continued. “Braden, his name was. He was Autumn’s age, and he had the biggest crush her. She was completely normal around him until I told her that he fancied her. I thought I was doing her a favor, but she started acting so strangely. Hanging around while Braden and Carver were training, but not saying a word. Just standing there like some kind of statue. Carver and Braden both planned to go into the army, you see, and they had these wooden practice swords they used to train with. One day, Sister blurts out, ‘Braden, I sure would like to see your real sword.’”
Isabela laughed. “Surely that wasn’t so bad? I can’t imagine this Braden didn’t like that.”
“Did I mention it was right in front of his mother?”
“Ooh, you’re right. That is bad.”
“Carver wanted to kill her. Braden stopped training with him after that. Although, as it happens, Braden ended up in the Templars, so I can’t be too sorry it didn’t work out.”
“So your confident, fearless, silver-tongued sister loses all sense of propriety around men?”
“That’s not even it. It’s like she loses her ability to reason. I can’t even explain it properly. It’s not just the things she says, it’s the way she says it. Like she’s afraid if she doesn’t go completely over the top that the man will never know that she’s flirting. And if she’s not making bad attempts at flirting, she loses the capability of speech.”
Both women looked back at the table, where Hawke was dealing out two hands of cards and still not looking at the man beside her. Anders had leaned over and was speaking encouragingly in her ear.
Bethany sighed. “If only there was a way to get her to act naturally around men.”
Isabela drained her glass and set it on the counter with a thunk. “Kitten,” she said, “I think I’ve got an idea.”
Re: A Little White Lie (5/?)
anonymous
May 4 2011, 12:09:33 UTC
OP again~
I just can't get over how cute Anders teaching Hawke how to play cards in such a friendly manner is. And Isabelas comment about deflowering Bethany XD Brilliant.
Re: A Little White Lie (6/?)
anonymous
May 5 2011, 13:33:46 UTC
“This staff looks really nice,” said Hawke. “Bethany, what do you think?”
Hawke, Bethany, and Isabela were in the Lowtown market, stocking up on supplies. Hawke was appraising a rather handsome staff. She ran a finger along the mahogany wood, admiring its smooth finish. She’d noticed that the staff Anders had been using was a bit worn down. He could probably use a replacement.
“It’s a good staff,” Bethany agreed.
“Do you think it’s nicer than the staff Anders has?”
Isabela chuckled. “Sweet thing, I’d bet that Anders’s staff is much nicer than that.”
Hawke felt her ears getting warm. “Isabela, can’t you ever get your mind out of the gutter?”
“But it’s so much fun there, kitten.”
Hawke deliberately turned her attention back to the merchant’s display. It was a good staff. She could picture Anders using it, his body twisting and lunging as he shot fire or lightning at his foes. Not that she spent a lot of time watching Anders’s body or anything. She was just...looking out for him. Making sure he didn’t get overwhelmed by enemies.
“You have to admit,” Isabela said, perching herself on the merchant’s table, “it is a pity.”
Hawke sighed and opened her purse, fumbling for her coins. “I’m going to regret asking this, but what’s a pity?”
“Anders, of course.” She sighed dramatically. “Why do all the good ones go for other men?”
Hawke’s head snapped up. “Why do--what?”
“Didn’t you know?” Isabela smiled slyly. “Anders plays for the other team.”
“Anders--”
“--is romantically interested in men, yes.” Isabela paused. “Didn’t he tell you about Karl?”
Hawke felt lightheaded.
“I thought they were friends,” Hawke said. “He told me Karl was his friend.”
The pirate shrugged. “If you have a loose definition of the word ‘friend,’ perhaps.”
It couldn’t be true. Surely Anders would have told her something like that. Even Bethany hadn’t noticed; she wouldn’t have encouraged her toward Anders if she thought he might....
Hawke looked at Bethany, who shrugged apologetically.
Her heart turned to lead in her chest. She put her hands on the table, leaning on it for support. “I can’t believe it. Why wouldn’t he tell me? I thought...”
Isabela raised an eyebrow expectantly.
“...that he trusted me,” Hawke finished lamely.
Isabela hopped down from the table. “I’m sure he does, love. Maybe...it just hasn’t come up yet.”
There was absolutely no reason she should feel like this, Hawke told herself. No reason why her chest should feel tight or her breath come with difficulty. No reason her eyes should be stinging.
She wasn’t going to cry.
He was just a friend, after all. He’d told her she didn’t have a chance, that she would just end up getting hurt. She’d already come to terms with that.
So why did this news seem worse than another Blight?
“You’re probably right,” Hawke mumbled as she paid for the staff.
Behind her back and out of her hearing, Bethany whispered to Isabela, “She looks so miserable. Are you sure we did the right thing?”
“Of course, kitten,” Isabela whispered back with a grin. “You just watch and see.”
Re: A Little White Lie (7/?)
anonymous
May 8 2011, 19:39:48 UTC
Hawke hesitated just outside Anders’s clinic. With one hand, she reached back and touched the new staff, which was strapped to her back next to her two-handed sword.
Maybe she should just come back another time.
No. That was stupid. She’d come all the way down here, and this wasn’t going to be any easier if she came back. No point in wasting the trek through Darktown.
She took a deep breath and went in.
Her eyes were drawn to Anders immediately, almost as if she’d known where he would be before she entered. He was bent over a patient, a young man. A rather handsome young man, Hawke noted with annoyance. Anders was holding his arm and pressing it gently, as if testing to see where it hurt. The young man flinched slightly and glanced up at Anders apologetically. Anders patted his hand and said something to him, flashing a rare half-smile at the patient.
Suddenly Hawke wanted to set the man on fire. If only she were a mage.
-----
“It wasn’t a bad break,” Anders told his patient. “I’ve healed the bone, but you may have some tenderness. You should take it easy if possible. Don’t return to the mine, at least not right away.”
The young man shook his head. “I’ve got to, ser. My mother and sister won’t eat if I don’t work.”
“At least a few days,” Anders insisted. “That mine is too dangerous. Talk to Lirene. She may be able to help you out those few days.”
The man hesitated, then nodded. “Of course, ser.”
Anders knew he was being placated, that his patient had no intention of taking it easy, but there was nothing he could do. Deep in his soul, the part of him he associated with Justice rumbled at the inequity--Fereldans forced to work in unconscionable conditions just to avoid starvation--but this was something he saw every day, and there was only so much he could do to make it right. People’s choices remained their own, and he could not take away their free will. Nor would he wish to.
With a sigh, he rose from his patient, turned, and saw Hawke hovering in the doorway.
His heart started thumping in his chest, and the troubling thoughts that filled his mind melted away. She looked beautiful, as always. Even with her hair mussed, dressed in head-to-toe armor, there was something undeniably feminine about her. Maybe it was the curve of her lip, or the sparkle in her eye...
He’d never met a woman like her. She was bold and outspoken, brave and challenging. She dealt with nobles and smugglers with equal assurance.
Yet, somehow, she was different with him, and Anders wasn’t sure what that meant. She rarely met his eyes and hardly spoke except to answer his questions. She wasn’t rude...just distant. Had he offended her by rejecting her earlier advances?
Turning her down had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. But he’d had to do it. He had nothing to offer her but instability and heartache. If he cared about her, he couldn’t subject her to that. She deserved so much better.
He was no longer sure she’d even been flirting with him, anyway. Maybe that was just her sense of humor. Maybe he’d put her off by assuming she was interested when she was just kidding around.
Maker, wouldn’t that just make him the biggest fool in Thedas.
Re: A Little White Lie (8/?)
anonymous
May 8 2011, 19:52:47 UTC
Hawke smiled and started towards him. Realizing he was just standing there, staring at her like an idiot, he raised a hand in greeting and went to meet her.
“Hawke,” he said in greeting. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today. I hope nothing is wrong?” Stupid, stupid. Now she would think he didn’t want to see her.
“No, everything is fine. I...wanted to give you something.” She reached for her back and removed a mahogany wood staff. As focused as he’d been on admiring her face, he hadn’t even noticed it there.
“You got me a staff?” Anders was shocked--and touched--that she’d thought of him.
She smiled. “Well, you’re no good to me without a decent weapon.”
Her tone encouraged him. She sounded light and unrestrained, and her smile was open. He found himself smiling back.
He took the staff, his hand brushing against hers and sending a little thrill through him. It was polished mahogany, carved in beautiful, intricate detail at the top. He could feel the energy in it when he touched it. Strong, healing energy.
“This is too much,” he murmured. “You shouldn’t have done this, Hawke. I know how much you need the money for your expedition.”
“I can make more money.”
She was dismissing it too easily. “Hawke. I understand what this expedition means for you. It’s your key to keeping your sister safe.”
Anders knew how important Bethany was to Hawke. He saw the protective way she watched her sister, the frightened look in her eyes whenever Bethany got injured, the fiercely determined set of her jaw whenever a Templar’s gaze might linger on her. Bethany was the luckiest mage in Thedas, as far as he was concerned.
“Nothing will happen to Bethany on my watch.” Hawke grinned. “Just take the staff. And maybe a ‘thank you’ would be nice.”
Something had definitely changed--and for the better. Anders couldn’t remember the last time Hawke had smiled so freely at him. If she ever had.
“Thank you,” Anders said simply. “It means a lot.”
Hawke looked at the floor.
Inwardly, Anders panicked. What had he done wrong to break this sudden and unexpected camaraderie?
“Anders,” Hawke said, avoiding his eyes, “can I ask you something?”
“Of course you can. Is--is this about Justice?”
“No. I was wondering--is it true that Karl was your lover?”
Anders felt his heart sink into his shoes. “You know about that?”
He hadn’t been trying to keep it a secret. He was planning to tell her. But he’d been...apprehensive. What if she took it badly that he’d been involved with men? He knew from experience that many women didn’t respond well to that kind of thing.
It shouldn’t matter how she reacted. There was no future for them. But still...he just hadn’t been able to tell her yet.
“Isabela told me,” Hawke said.
Anders mentally cursed Isabela and her big mouth to the Void.
“Yes,” Anders said. “Yes, it’s true.”
Hawke bit her bottom lip. “Why didn’t you tell me? If I had known...”
“I’m sorry,” Anders said. “I wanted to tell you myself. It’s just...I was afraid...”
She shook her head and gave him a sad smile. “It’s okay, Anders. I don’t mind. It doesn’t bother me.”
“Really?” Anders examined her face, looking for some sign of what she was thinking. “You’re okay with it?”
“Of course I am. Don’t be silly. I just--” She stopped.
“Just...what?”
“I wish I’d known sooner. Maker, it’s hard enough to lose a friend like that. But a lover...” She took his hand, and a jolt of electricity went through him.
“Thank you,” Anders murmured. “We hadn’t been together for some time. But it means a lot to me to know you care. You’re a better friend than I deserve.”
For a moment they stood there, looking at each other. Then Hawke leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.
Anders was stunned.
“I should go,” she said. “Before it gets dark. Mother worries, you know. But if you need anything, you just have to ask. I’m here for you.”
“Thank you,” Anders said again, still dazed.
Hawke flashed a smile at him, and then she was gone.
Anders raised his hand and touched it to his cheek.
Re: A Little White Lie (9/?)
anonymous
May 8 2011, 20:01:59 UTC
-----
Hawke replayed the conversation in her head as she walked home.
I was wondering--is it true that Karl was your lover?
....Yes. Yes, it’s true.
Why didn’t you tell me? If I had known...
I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you myself. It’s just...I was afraid...
He was afraid that she would be humiliated at having thrown herself at a man who wasn’t interested in women. She understood.
She hoped she’d been gracious about it. He didn’t need to know that her heart was breaking. How silly, falling for a man who preferred the company of other men. She felt like a complete fool.
Feet heavy, Hawke trudged up the steps to her uncle’s house and pushed open the door.
Bethany was sitting at the desk with a book. She looked up when Hawke came in.
“You saw him? What did he say?”
Hawke smiled wryly. “It’s true.”
Bethany let out a breath. “I’m sorry, Sister. I shouldn’t have pushed you towards him.”
“It’s okay, Beth. You couldn’t have known.”
“Are you...how are you holding up?”
“I’m all right. It’s probably for the best. We were never going to happen anyway. Now...I can focus on being a good friend to him.”
“I know that won’t be a problem for you,” Bethany said. “He does like you, you know. And he is lonely. I think a good friend is exactly what he needs.”
Hawke hugged Bethany back. “That’s good,” she said. “I know how to be a friend.”
“All right, love. Spill. What’s the deal with your gorgeous sister? Why aren’t she and Anders shagging like rabbits already?”
Bethany sighed. “You’re asking me, but I honestly don’t get it. I’ve never seen a situation Autumn couldn’t handle -- except for men. For some reason, every time she meets a man she’s attracted to, she clams up and can’t open her mouth. And when she tries to get past that and actually make a move, she ends up sounding like a brothel worker.”
Isabela laughed. “Oh, this I’ve got to hear,” she said. “What does she say?”
“Well,” said Bethany, “there was a farmer’s son when we were teenagers in Lothering. He was a couple of years older than her and didn’t know either of us existed. But she had such a crush on him. One day, she got up all her nerve, walked out to his farm where he was working, and asked him if he was looking for a good place to sow his seed.”
Isabela choked on her drink.
“I know,” Bethany said. “The worst part was, she was completely oblivious to the double meaning. Well, until after she said it.”
“I don’t mean to belittle her horror,” said Isabela, “but that actually sounds like a line most men would fall over themselves for. Especially from a woman who looks like Hawke.”
“You’re...not wrong. He took her up on it. Had his way with her in the barn, then told all his friends. The next day, she ran up to him in town, all smiles. He laughed at her. They all laughed at her. Then one of his friends asked her if he could ‘sow his seed,’ too.”
“Andraste’s tits, that’s awful.” Isabela frowned at Bethany. “I was looking for a good laugh, but this is tragic.”
“It was, a bit. Autumn went home and cried for an hour. Then she went back out and broke his nose.”
“That’s the Hawke we all know and love. Pity she didn’t break something a little more dear to him than his nose.”
“She accomplished her goal, anyway. No one in Lothering ever talked about the...incident, again.”
Bethany took a drink. “Then, there was that friend of Carver’s,” she continued. “Braden, his name was. He was Autumn’s age, and he had the biggest crush her. She was completely normal around him until I told her that he fancied her. I thought I was doing her a favor, but she started acting so strangely. Hanging around while Braden and Carver were training, but not saying a word. Just standing there like some kind of statue. Carver and Braden both planned to go into the army, you see, and they had these wooden practice swords they used to train with. One day, Sister blurts out, ‘Braden, I sure would like to see your real sword.’”
Isabela laughed. “Surely that wasn’t so bad? I can’t imagine this Braden didn’t like that.”
“Did I mention it was right in front of his mother?”
“Ooh, you’re right. That is bad.”
“Carver wanted to kill her. Braden stopped training with him after that. Although, as it happens, Braden ended up in the Templars, so I can’t be too sorry it didn’t work out.”
“So your confident, fearless, silver-tongued sister loses all sense of propriety around men?”
“That’s not even it. It’s like she loses her ability to reason. I can’t even explain it properly. It’s not just the things she says, it’s the way she says it. Like she’s afraid if she doesn’t go completely over the top that the man will never know that she’s flirting. And if she’s not making bad attempts at flirting, she loses the capability of speech.”
Both women looked back at the table, where Hawke was dealing out two hands of cards and still not looking at the man beside her. Anders had leaned over and was speaking encouragingly in her ear.
Bethany sighed. “If only there was a way to get her to act naturally around men.”
Isabela drained her glass and set it on the counter with a thunk. “Kitten,” she said, “I think I’ve got an idea.”
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Thanks for the laughs, writeranon! I'm looking forward to more! :D
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Congratulations anon, I couldn't stop laughing
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I just can't get over how cute Anders teaching Hawke how to play cards in such a friendly manner is. And Isabelas comment about deflowering Bethany XD Brilliant.
Bahaha, sounding like a brothel worker indeed.
This is turning out awesome author anon :D
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Hawke, Bethany, and Isabela were in the Lowtown market, stocking up on supplies. Hawke was appraising a rather handsome staff. She ran a finger along the mahogany wood, admiring its smooth finish. She’d noticed that the staff Anders had been using was a bit worn down. He could probably use a replacement.
“It’s a good staff,” Bethany agreed.
“Do you think it’s nicer than the staff Anders has?”
Isabela chuckled. “Sweet thing, I’d bet that Anders’s staff is much nicer than that.”
Hawke felt her ears getting warm. “Isabela, can’t you ever get your mind out of the gutter?”
“But it’s so much fun there, kitten.”
Hawke deliberately turned her attention back to the merchant’s display. It was a good staff. She could picture Anders using it, his body twisting and lunging as he shot fire or lightning at his foes. Not that she spent a lot of time watching Anders’s body or anything. She was just...looking out for him. Making sure he didn’t get overwhelmed by enemies.
“You have to admit,” Isabela said, perching herself on the merchant’s table, “it is a pity.”
Hawke sighed and opened her purse, fumbling for her coins. “I’m going to regret asking this, but what’s a pity?”
“Anders, of course.” She sighed dramatically. “Why do all the good ones go for other men?”
Hawke’s head snapped up. “Why do--what?”
“Didn’t you know?” Isabela smiled slyly. “Anders plays for the other team.”
“Anders--”
“--is romantically interested in men, yes.” Isabela paused. “Didn’t he tell you about Karl?”
Hawke felt lightheaded.
“I thought they were friends,” Hawke said. “He told me Karl was his friend.”
The pirate shrugged. “If you have a loose definition of the word ‘friend,’ perhaps.”
It couldn’t be true. Surely Anders would have told her something like that. Even Bethany hadn’t noticed; she wouldn’t have encouraged her toward Anders if she thought he might....
Hawke looked at Bethany, who shrugged apologetically.
Her heart turned to lead in her chest. She put her hands on the table, leaning on it for support. “I can’t believe it. Why wouldn’t he tell me? I thought...”
Isabela raised an eyebrow expectantly.
“...that he trusted me,” Hawke finished lamely.
Isabela hopped down from the table. “I’m sure he does, love. Maybe...it just hasn’t come up yet.”
There was absolutely no reason she should feel like this, Hawke told herself. No reason why her chest should feel tight or her breath come with difficulty. No reason her eyes should be stinging.
She wasn’t going to cry.
He was just a friend, after all. He’d told her she didn’t have a chance, that she would just end up getting hurt. She’d already come to terms with that.
So why did this news seem worse than another Blight?
“You’re probably right,” Hawke mumbled as she paid for the staff.
Behind her back and out of her hearing, Bethany whispered to Isabela, “She looks so miserable. Are you sure we did the right thing?”
“Of course, kitten,” Isabela whispered back with a grin. “You just watch and see.”
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Please continue dear author anon!
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Hah, I knew Isabela wouldn't be able to resist the staff comment.Poor Hawke, I feel bad for her but it's for her own good.
Can't wait to see how things go next :D
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Maybe she should just come back another time.
No. That was stupid. She’d come all the way down here, and this wasn’t going to be any easier if she came back. No point in wasting the trek through Darktown.
She took a deep breath and went in.
Her eyes were drawn to Anders immediately, almost as if she’d known where he would be before she entered. He was bent over a patient, a young man. A rather handsome young man, Hawke noted with annoyance. Anders was holding his arm and pressing it gently, as if testing to see where it hurt. The young man flinched slightly and glanced up at Anders apologetically. Anders patted his hand and said something to him, flashing a rare half-smile at the patient.
Suddenly Hawke wanted to set the man on fire. If only she were a mage.
-----
“It wasn’t a bad break,” Anders told his patient. “I’ve healed the bone, but you may have some tenderness. You should take it easy if possible. Don’t return to the mine, at least not right away.”
The young man shook his head. “I’ve got to, ser. My mother and sister won’t eat if I don’t work.”
“At least a few days,” Anders insisted. “That mine is too dangerous. Talk to Lirene. She may be able to help you out those few days.”
The man hesitated, then nodded. “Of course, ser.”
Anders knew he was being placated, that his patient had no intention of taking it easy, but there was nothing he could do. Deep in his soul, the part of him he associated with Justice rumbled at the inequity--Fereldans forced to work in unconscionable conditions just to avoid starvation--but this was something he saw every day, and there was only so much he could do to make it right. People’s choices remained their own, and he could not take away their free will. Nor would he wish to.
With a sigh, he rose from his patient, turned, and saw Hawke hovering in the doorway.
His heart started thumping in his chest, and the troubling thoughts that filled his mind melted away. She looked beautiful, as always. Even with her hair mussed, dressed in head-to-toe armor, there was something undeniably feminine about her. Maybe it was the curve of her lip, or the sparkle in her eye...
He’d never met a woman like her. She was bold and outspoken, brave and challenging. She dealt with nobles and smugglers with equal assurance.
Yet, somehow, she was different with him, and Anders wasn’t sure what that meant. She rarely met his eyes and hardly spoke except to answer his questions. She wasn’t rude...just distant. Had he offended her by rejecting her earlier advances?
Turning her down had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. But he’d had to do it. He had nothing to offer her but instability and heartache. If he cared about her, he couldn’t subject her to that. She deserved so much better.
He was no longer sure she’d even been flirting with him, anyway. Maybe that was just her sense of humor. Maybe he’d put her off by assuming she was interested when she was just kidding around.
Maker, wouldn’t that just make him the biggest fool in Thedas.
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“Hawke,” he said in greeting. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today. I hope nothing is wrong?” Stupid, stupid. Now she would think he didn’t want to see her.
“No, everything is fine. I...wanted to give you something.” She reached for her back and removed a mahogany wood staff. As focused as he’d been on admiring her face, he hadn’t even noticed it there.
“You got me a staff?” Anders was shocked--and touched--that she’d thought of him.
She smiled. “Well, you’re no good to me without a decent weapon.”
Her tone encouraged him. She sounded light and unrestrained, and her smile was open. He found himself smiling back.
He took the staff, his hand brushing against hers and sending a little thrill through him. It was polished mahogany, carved in beautiful, intricate detail at the top. He could feel the energy in it when he touched it. Strong, healing energy.
“This is too much,” he murmured. “You shouldn’t have done this, Hawke. I know how much you need the money for your expedition.”
“I can make more money.”
She was dismissing it too easily. “Hawke. I understand what this expedition means for you. It’s your key to keeping your sister safe.”
Anders knew how important Bethany was to Hawke. He saw the protective way she watched her sister, the frightened look in her eyes whenever Bethany got injured, the fiercely determined set of her jaw whenever a Templar’s gaze might linger on her. Bethany was the luckiest mage in Thedas, as far as he was concerned.
“Nothing will happen to Bethany on my watch.” Hawke grinned. “Just take the staff. And maybe a ‘thank you’ would be nice.”
Something had definitely changed--and for the better. Anders couldn’t remember the last time Hawke had smiled so freely at him. If she ever had.
“Thank you,” Anders said simply. “It means a lot.”
Hawke looked at the floor.
Inwardly, Anders panicked. What had he done wrong to break this sudden and unexpected camaraderie?
“Anders,” Hawke said, avoiding his eyes, “can I ask you something?”
“Of course you can. Is--is this about Justice?”
“No. I was wondering--is it true that Karl was your lover?”
Anders felt his heart sink into his shoes. “You know about that?”
He hadn’t been trying to keep it a secret. He was planning to tell her. But he’d been...apprehensive. What if she took it badly that he’d been involved with men? He knew from experience that many women didn’t respond well to that kind of thing.
It shouldn’t matter how she reacted. There was no future for them. But still...he just hadn’t been able to tell her yet.
“Isabela told me,” Hawke said.
Anders mentally cursed Isabela and her big mouth to the Void.
“Yes,” Anders said. “Yes, it’s true.”
Hawke bit her bottom lip. “Why didn’t you tell me? If I had known...”
“I’m sorry,” Anders said. “I wanted to tell you myself. It’s just...I was afraid...”
She shook her head and gave him a sad smile. “It’s okay, Anders. I don’t mind. It doesn’t bother me.”
“Really?” Anders examined her face, looking for some sign of what she was thinking. “You’re okay with it?”
“Of course I am. Don’t be silly. I just--” She stopped.
“Just...what?”
“I wish I’d known sooner. Maker, it’s hard enough to lose a friend like that. But a lover...” She took his hand, and a jolt of electricity went through him.
“Thank you,” Anders murmured. “We hadn’t been together for some time. But it means a lot to me to know you care. You’re a better friend than I deserve.”
For a moment they stood there, looking at each other. Then Hawke leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.
Anders was stunned.
“I should go,” she said. “Before it gets dark. Mother worries, you know. But if you need anything, you just have to ask. I’m here for you.”
“Thank you,” Anders said again, still dazed.
Hawke flashed a smile at him, and then she was gone.
Anders raised his hand and touched it to his cheek.
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Hawke replayed the conversation in her head as she walked home.
I was wondering--is it true that Karl was your lover?
....Yes. Yes, it’s true.
Why didn’t you tell me? If I had known...
I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you myself. It’s just...I was afraid...
He was afraid that she would be humiliated at having thrown herself at a man who wasn’t interested in women. She understood.
She hoped she’d been gracious about it. He didn’t need to know that her heart was breaking. How silly, falling for a man who preferred the company of other men. She felt like a complete fool.
Feet heavy, Hawke trudged up the steps to her uncle’s house and pushed open the door.
Bethany was sitting at the desk with a book. She looked up when Hawke came in.
“You saw him? What did he say?”
Hawke smiled wryly. “It’s true.”
Bethany let out a breath. “I’m sorry, Sister. I shouldn’t have pushed you towards him.”
“It’s okay, Beth. You couldn’t have known.”
“Are you...how are you holding up?”
“I’m all right. It’s probably for the best. We were never going to happen anyway. Now...I can focus on being a good friend to him.”
“I know that won’t be a problem for you,” Bethany said. “He does like you, you know. And he is lonely. I think a good friend is exactly what he needs.”
Hawke hugged Bethany back. “That’s good,” she said. “I know how to be a friend.”
“Yes,” Bethany said. “I know.”
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