(no subject)
I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep
I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask
Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me
I'm the cripple on the corner
You've passed me on the street
And I wouldn't be out here beggin'
If I had enough to eat
And don't think I don't notice
That our eyes never meet
I lost my wife and little boy when
Someone cross that yellow line
The day we laid them in the ground
Is the day I lost my mind
And right now I'm down to holdin'
This little cardboard sign...so
Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me
I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall
I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey, aren't we all
Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me
Beautiful song. Country music can be so beautiful. And if my stupid computer didnt act stupid all the time, i'd be listening to Paul Brandt right now. Great guy. ^_^
So, this eveneing i went to a 60th birthday pot luck thing for the five year old's grampa. and guess who was there?
George! it was great.
that guy's amazing. so... South African, or something. What does Suave mean? for some reason i feel like it describes George.
George:
Giganticaly energetic over really great Elevators.
or
Gorgeous Except Old Really... Good Enough!
heh. the second one is best.
So, if i were to say "him" would any one remember who i mean?
(no i'm not talking about george anymore. this is a new subject)
I was just wondering. How come every single dream i have, or have had recently, has something to do with him and the fact that he loves me? I mean he doesnt in real life, right? so i should give up completely on that one, right? And besides, i love someone else right? Right. But when i dream about him its always the dreams that i should have had about nine months ago. When he was okay to think about. to dream about. so strange. and always these dreams are like Quick hug, kiss, or something, but never anything else because who knows when he could show up, and how would that make him feel, like a complete fool or something much worse. i think its another hidden meaning. It means this: I still like him but dont want him to know because i dont want to hurt him. Because i love him.
And then comes this thought: what is Love, exactly. How do i even know whether or not i do love anyone at all. when have i ever felt love, either from myself for someone, or from someone for myself. Is love supposed to be joyous, painful, frightening, exciting, or what? Do you feel it in your heart, your head, you stomach, your throat,or where? Can other people see it? Or do they overlook it, or ignore it.
Ugh, i think sometimes i hate being a teenager, a girl with stupid mixed up emotions and a stupid mixed up family.
Sometimes i wish i could see into the future so i could know exactly what i should do now, or that i could go back in time and do exactly what i know now should have been done.
So many things. But i cant hurt anyone. Not even for my own good.
I think thats whats wrong with me. Everything is inside and because i cannot hurt anyone, i end up hurting myself. but how do i just come up with words to say or explinations or anything. i cant. i know what might happen and i dont want that to happen. and i know that some one reading this might begin to understand me and it might hurt him, even though i dont want to hurt him at all. i never ever want to hurt him or do anything to hurt him. Because i love him so very much. But i'm afraid.
i dont know. i'm confused.