It's gona kill me, The rest of my life, Let me apoligize while I'm still alive.
It is no secret that my life in New Jersey was not the best of lives. I was working in a dead end job and going to a dead end school. Generally there were few times i was truely happy. Most of the time it was argueing with my father, working 45 hour weeks inside of a stuffy CVS and trying to pay for car insurance and the phone bill. I honestly could not stand it there. Any oppurtunity to get out of that "life" for even a day was jumped on. The road trip with my friends, going to Surf practice and shows, those were my high points.
Then Disney.
For those of you who don't know. I love it here. These past two and a half months have been the best times i could possibly imagine. I work 50 hour weeks but that doesn't even matter becasue i feel like a matter here. I look foreword to going to work every morning, whereas in New Jersey I dreaded going into CVS. Most people in the world would kill to have a feeling of pleasure when they go to work. I can work at Tower of Terror and see people getting off smiling and cheering and they thank me. People appreciate us for giving them some fun in their lives. I can go and work Fantasmic! at night and talk with people and see them smiling and enjoying themselves and knowing that in some small way i helped them in having some fun makes my day worth it.
They say people only work for Disney for one of two reasons. One is they are desperate for a job. Two is that they honestly believe in the product being presented.
I do believe that i matter here. If even in the littlest way i have had some effect on helping someone i am happy.
The other day i was working Fantasmic! and i began talking to a family seated in my section. At the end of the night they all took a picture with me casue i wa so nice to them. Now I am going to be honest, they probably forgot my name by the time they walked out of the theatre but when they look at the pictures they will know they had a fun time wating for that show to begin.
I could easily go on like this for hours with countless tales of how I somehow in some small way made someones day better but thats not what this is about.
Today i told my mom that i have four days to decide if i want to extend or not, I wanted to hear her opinion. If i extend, i will not be able to march. If i don't extend, i will have a slight chance of marching because i can't afford it and i will be in North Carolina. So either way, Marching is almost out of the question, which kills me inside. But if I am going to take that sacrifce i want to still have something that i love in my life, this.
I dropped everything in New Jersey to come here, the little that i had. But now i find that I have so much here and i dont want to lose that. There are so many people here and there are so many opportunities that are avalible to me.
My mom is big on the whole "starting new" in North Carolina. I will be honest, i am looking foreword to it also, but after this i dont think i'll want to go back to a normal job. She mentioned school ad told me i have to go back, i know i have to go back. She asked if i was going to go to school in Florida and i rudely said back that i could apply anywhere and i feel bad casue i was rude to my mother, but it was justified. I could go to a school in Wyoming if i really wanted to, there are hundreds of thousands of schools out there.
I have already "started new" here in Florida, and i actually enjoy it. How do i know if i'll like it in North Carolina?
What it really comes down to is, I have no idea what i want to do wth my self. Any thoughts?
I have five days to decide my future.
I want to be happy, but it kills me seeing my mother sad.
Then Disney.
For those of you who don't know. I love it here. These past two and a half months have been the best times i could possibly imagine. I work 50 hour weeks but that doesn't even matter becasue i feel like a matter here. I look foreword to going to work every morning, whereas in New Jersey I dreaded going into CVS. Most people in the world would kill to have a feeling of pleasure when they go to work. I can work at Tower of Terror and see people getting off smiling and cheering and they thank me. People appreciate us for giving them some fun in their lives. I can go and work Fantasmic! at night and talk with people and see them smiling and enjoying themselves and knowing that in some small way i helped them in having some fun makes my day worth it.
They say people only work for Disney for one of two reasons. One is they are desperate for a job. Two is that they honestly believe in the product being presented.
I do believe that i matter here. If even in the littlest way i have had some effect on helping someone i am happy.
The other day i was working Fantasmic! and i began talking to a family seated in my section. At the end of the night they all took a picture with me casue i wa so nice to them. Now I am going to be honest, they probably forgot my name by the time they walked out of the theatre but when they look at the pictures they will know they had a fun time wating for that show to begin.
I could easily go on like this for hours with countless tales of how I somehow in some small way made someones day better but thats not what this is about.
Today i told my mom that i have four days to decide if i want to extend or not, I wanted to hear her opinion. If i extend, i will not be able to march. If i don't extend, i will have a slight chance of marching because i can't afford it and i will be in North Carolina. So either way, Marching is almost out of the question, which kills me inside. But if I am going to take that sacrifce i want to still have something that i love in my life, this.
I dropped everything in New Jersey to come here, the little that i had. But now i find that I have so much here and i dont want to lose that. There are so many people here and there are so many opportunities that are avalible to me.
My mom is big on the whole "starting new" in North Carolina. I will be honest, i am looking foreword to it also, but after this i dont think i'll want to go back to a normal job. She mentioned school ad told me i have to go back, i know i have to go back. She asked if i was going to go to school in Florida and i rudely said back that i could apply anywhere and i feel bad casue i was rude to my mother, but it was justified. I could go to a school in Wyoming if i really wanted to, there are hundreds of thousands of schools out there.
I have already "started new" here in Florida, and i actually enjoy it. How do i know if i'll like it in North Carolina?
What it really comes down to is, I have no idea what i want to do wth my self. Any thoughts?
I have five days to decide my future.
I want to be happy, but it kills me seeing my mother sad.