Life
So I had a long discussion with Mike last night. We were at "Wafflepalouza," a camping trip amongst my friends, involving as many people in the group that can come as possible. Fun times had by all (except for when there are squabbles... that's another story, though.)
In any case, we talked about me moving out soon and being nervous about finding a job. He assured me that I was a good guy, and that I can probably find something, particularly if I swallow my pride a little bit... From there, it evolved into a discussion about growing up. We've come to realize that we can't seem to just stay up until 5 AM anymore, talking about things. Even when we have no obligation the next day, there just seems to come a time in the night where it's like "Oh, it's late. Time to go to bed."
Time is closing in on us. There are more constraints than there used to be. I remember in High School, all night was like an infinite amount of time and possibility. Now, I just don't like staying up past two, and that's like the absolute latest I feel like staying up. I'm sure that will get earlier and earlier as time progresses, too.
Furthermore, I'm starting to appreciate more the early hours, maybe because I forget they exist, and what they look like; for example, the sun rising. It's nice to see, but usually when I see it, I have to be at work soon or at the same time.
It really kinda felt like Wafflepalouza was maybe one of those last bits of childhood/adolescence for us. Or, as Mike said, maybe it will be the annual thing that brings us back together again. I suppose there's a lot of life left. But I really think maybe I don't want to be a grown up yet, still. I'm resisting, when it would probably be for the best that I didn't. But I don't want to lose who I am now, either.
I look at the generation up from me-like Valentine or even his and Tim's friends-and even some in my generation. There seems to be a more practical, mature level of thinking there that I have yet to achieve. I will say something, Val will counter it with that adult thinking, and I will likely feel embarrassed.
Yet there's other things that "adults" seem to have lost, or have had to give up along the way that I don't want to let go of yet. Almost like a certain level of compassion, or passion for things in general. Like, "we're too grown up to be this passionate about something." Hiding your passion. That may be more of a cultural thing than a "growing up" thing, though. I think Scott said it best: "God says 'I see you hiding your passion and calling it "maturity." I am not impressed.'"
Back to moving out: I realize that I am probably going to be getting a couple checks of at least 900-1000 dollars each for the next two months, so that should hold me over for the next few months if I can't find anything right away. When I move out, too, I will have my own computer, but I will not have the internet anymore. I will see my immediate, real life friends anyway, and that brings me to something else...
"Online Friends." How real a friendship is that? I've sustained a few in the past, but all of them seem to have run out now. They're only good for the moment, and then when someone loses interest, it's forgotten. And it's not just online friends, either, but people I knew in real life as well. I'll feel kinda guilty when I realize I haven't talked to someone for a long time sometimes, but then I realize they haven't taken the effort to contact me, either.
I've even tried multiple times getting into contact with some people, and they never respond, so whatever. I'm pretty sure I'm not doing anything wrong. If I did do something, I've never been told about it for most these people. Maybe it's a case of, "I've moved on, period. I'm not willing to talk to you ever again." So I think I'm gonna do the same thing; [b]I'm done with online/long-distance friends.[/b] If [i]you[/i] want to write to [i]me[/i] or get in touch some other way still, be my guest; I will probably respond (unlike some.) But I'm not seeking anyone out anymore (unless we were really good, true friends in the past.) I'm not gonna waste the effort. Anyhoo...
Wuv, Yer Mom
In any case, we talked about me moving out soon and being nervous about finding a job. He assured me that I was a good guy, and that I can probably find something, particularly if I swallow my pride a little bit... From there, it evolved into a discussion about growing up. We've come to realize that we can't seem to just stay up until 5 AM anymore, talking about things. Even when we have no obligation the next day, there just seems to come a time in the night where it's like "Oh, it's late. Time to go to bed."
Time is closing in on us. There are more constraints than there used to be. I remember in High School, all night was like an infinite amount of time and possibility. Now, I just don't like staying up past two, and that's like the absolute latest I feel like staying up. I'm sure that will get earlier and earlier as time progresses, too.
Furthermore, I'm starting to appreciate more the early hours, maybe because I forget they exist, and what they look like; for example, the sun rising. It's nice to see, but usually when I see it, I have to be at work soon or at the same time.
It really kinda felt like Wafflepalouza was maybe one of those last bits of childhood/adolescence for us. Or, as Mike said, maybe it will be the annual thing that brings us back together again. I suppose there's a lot of life left. But I really think maybe I don't want to be a grown up yet, still. I'm resisting, when it would probably be for the best that I didn't. But I don't want to lose who I am now, either.
I look at the generation up from me-like Valentine or even his and Tim's friends-and even some in my generation. There seems to be a more practical, mature level of thinking there that I have yet to achieve. I will say something, Val will counter it with that adult thinking, and I will likely feel embarrassed.
Yet there's other things that "adults" seem to have lost, or have had to give up along the way that I don't want to let go of yet. Almost like a certain level of compassion, or passion for things in general. Like, "we're too grown up to be this passionate about something." Hiding your passion. That may be more of a cultural thing than a "growing up" thing, though. I think Scott said it best: "God says 'I see you hiding your passion and calling it "maturity." I am not impressed.'"
Back to moving out: I realize that I am probably going to be getting a couple checks of at least 900-1000 dollars each for the next two months, so that should hold me over for the next few months if I can't find anything right away. When I move out, too, I will have my own computer, but I will not have the internet anymore. I will see my immediate, real life friends anyway, and that brings me to something else...
"Online Friends." How real a friendship is that? I've sustained a few in the past, but all of them seem to have run out now. They're only good for the moment, and then when someone loses interest, it's forgotten. And it's not just online friends, either, but people I knew in real life as well. I'll feel kinda guilty when I realize I haven't talked to someone for a long time sometimes, but then I realize they haven't taken the effort to contact me, either.
I've even tried multiple times getting into contact with some people, and they never respond, so whatever. I'm pretty sure I'm not doing anything wrong. If I did do something, I've never been told about it for most these people. Maybe it's a case of, "I've moved on, period. I'm not willing to talk to you ever again." So I think I'm gonna do the same thing; [b]I'm done with online/long-distance friends.[/b] If [i]you[/i] want to write to [i]me[/i] or get in touch some other way still, be my guest; I will probably respond (unlike some.) But I'm not seeking anyone out anymore (unless we were really good, true friends in the past.) I'm not gonna waste the effort. Anyhoo...
Wuv, Yer Mom