Lawn Mowing Wars #2
Title: Harry's Revenge
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 550 (approx)
Warnings: Suggestive Landscaping *struggles to keep a straight face*
Genre: Humour/Romance
Summary: Harry takes it up a notch. A follow up to Lawn Mowing Wars.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe, or the characters in it. The following was written purely for fun, not profit.
Harry spent the better part of his day ranting and raging to an empty house about his crazy, inconsiderate and altogether giant prat of a boyfriend. Draco’s latest stunt had involved a long argument about shirking household responsibilities, a lawn mower and a remarkably obscene bit of landscaping.
The crazy blond had basically gone and sheared a giant penis across their lawn and Harry was none too happy about it. Even worse, Draco had legged it right after his latest bout of lunacy and was probably cackling away in Pansy’s lair right this minute! Harry had no doubts about his boyfriend’s intentions. Draco expected him to admit defeat and set the lawn to rights or face life with a giant dick display in his front yard!
Well, he wasn’t backing down this time! Draco had crossed the line and it was on.
“Making a giant prick on the lawn” he muttered savagely to himself, as he plotted his revenge “Probably a self portrait…” He trailed off, chuckling at his own joke before his eyes widened in amazement at the sheer brilliance of it.
Harry rubbed his hands in glee as he was struck by the grandmother of all awesome ideas. It was magnificent! Seriously, this was right up there with The Wheel and Fire and Sugar Quills!
Cackling like a maniac, Harry sprinted off in search of the lawn mower.
****
Draco angled his Nimbus 2001 to head home. He’d been out flying all afternoon. It would have been decidedly unwise to hang around after Harry had had a good look at what he’d done to his precious lawn. Well, his incensed lover had had more than three hours to cool down. He was probably repairing the lawn right now. Draco smirked. He had channelled all of his artistic ability in his landscaping masterpiece and it had been worth it. He doubted if Harry would ever dare ask him to mow the lawn again.
It was with these happy thoughts that Draco decided to take a quick aerial trip around their cottage. He hadn’t had the chance to view his creation from the air yet and he suspected it would be quite the view. Of course, Harry would probably have mowed over it by now. Oh well, no harm in looking…
So he angled his broom in the direction of his home and flew on. Soon, the lawn came into view.
Ah, there it stood in all its glory. Draco grinned. Merlin, it was a monstrosity! And he’d thought the biggest he’d seen was Harry’s! Still grinning, he flew further…
…and screeched in horror. Hell, he almost fell off his broom!
His magnificent creation was not the only bit of landscaping on their lawn anymore. Draco’s eyes widened as he scoped out the four… no, five words that had been mowed across the lawn. They were large and prominent and he had no difficulty reading them from his broom. And they had been sheared right above his creation.
The words ‘DRACO MALFOY IS A HUGE’ were cut out across his lawn. They were followed by his own bit of artistry, thus completing the announcement.
So, his lawn now read…
“This means war, Potter!” Draco bellowed furiously, as he hurtled home at warp speed.
****
Lawn Mowing Wars #3
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 550 (approx)
Warnings: Suggestive Landscaping *struggles to keep a straight face*
Genre: Humour/Romance
Summary: Harry takes it up a notch. A follow up to Lawn Mowing Wars.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe, or the characters in it. The following was written purely for fun, not profit.
Harry spent the better part of his day ranting and raging to an empty house about his crazy, inconsiderate and altogether giant prat of a boyfriend. Draco’s latest stunt had involved a long argument about shirking household responsibilities, a lawn mower and a remarkably obscene bit of landscaping.
The crazy blond had basically gone and sheared a giant penis across their lawn and Harry was none too happy about it. Even worse, Draco had legged it right after his latest bout of lunacy and was probably cackling away in Pansy’s lair right this minute! Harry had no doubts about his boyfriend’s intentions. Draco expected him to admit defeat and set the lawn to rights or face life with a giant dick display in his front yard!
Well, he wasn’t backing down this time! Draco had crossed the line and it was on.
“Making a giant prick on the lawn” he muttered savagely to himself, as he plotted his revenge “Probably a self portrait…” He trailed off, chuckling at his own joke before his eyes widened in amazement at the sheer brilliance of it.
Harry rubbed his hands in glee as he was struck by the grandmother of all awesome ideas. It was magnificent! Seriously, this was right up there with The Wheel and Fire and Sugar Quills!
Cackling like a maniac, Harry sprinted off in search of the lawn mower.
****
Draco angled his Nimbus 2001 to head home. He’d been out flying all afternoon. It would have been decidedly unwise to hang around after Harry had had a good look at what he’d done to his precious lawn. Well, his incensed lover had had more than three hours to cool down. He was probably repairing the lawn right now. Draco smirked. He had channelled all of his artistic ability in his landscaping masterpiece and it had been worth it. He doubted if Harry would ever dare ask him to mow the lawn again.
It was with these happy thoughts that Draco decided to take a quick aerial trip around their cottage. He hadn’t had the chance to view his creation from the air yet and he suspected it would be quite the view. Of course, Harry would probably have mowed over it by now. Oh well, no harm in looking…
So he angled his broom in the direction of his home and flew on. Soon, the lawn came into view.
Ah, there it stood in all its glory. Draco grinned. Merlin, it was a monstrosity! And he’d thought the biggest he’d seen was Harry’s! Still grinning, he flew further…
…and screeched in horror. Hell, he almost fell off his broom!
His magnificent creation was not the only bit of landscaping on their lawn anymore. Draco’s eyes widened as he scoped out the four… no, five words that had been mowed across the lawn. They were large and prominent and he had no difficulty reading them from his broom. And they had been sheared right above his creation.
The words ‘DRACO MALFOY IS A HUGE’ were cut out across his lawn. They were followed by his own bit of artistry, thus completing the announcement.
So, his lawn now read…
“This means war, Potter!” Draco bellowed furiously, as he hurtled home at warp speed.
****
Lawn Mowing Wars #3