Lawn Mowing Wars
Title: Draco's Antics
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 700 (approx)
Warnings: Suggestive Landscaping *struggles to keep a straight face*
Genre: Humour/Romance
Summary: Draco doesn't want to mow the lawn and makes his thoughts on the subject very apparent.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe, or the characters in it. The following was written purely for fun, not profit.
Author's notes: For slythindor100's challenge #142: Summer
Nestled in the folds of the beautiful British countryside lies a little village called Godric’s Hollow. And in this lovely little village, there is a small summer cottage. The residents of this cottage were probably the happiest people that ever lived. For they were in love- and everyone knows that for those in love, the world is full of beauty, tenderness and eternal everlasting joy.
“You’re a selfish, lazy arsewipe!” shouted resident number one, as he practically drowned in tenderness and everlasting joy.
“And you’re an absolute shite!” shouted the second resident. “I can’t believe you’re making all this fuss over a stupid lawn!”
“It’s not about the lawn!” Harry Potter bellowed at his beloved boyfriend. “It’s about the fact that you refuse to trim the hedges or water the flowers or mow the lawn or…okay fine, it’s about the lawn!”
“I’m busy right now!” Draco replied, brandishing a paintbrush “Why can’t you do it just this once?”
Harry scowled at the canvas and easel situated smugly in the living room. “You’re drawing fruit” he deadpanned. “And by the way, your grapefruit looks like Cornelius Fudge.” He ignored Draco’s shriek of outrage and ploughed on determined to have his say “And you’re not busy! Every sodding time it’s your turn to do something around the house, you decide to play artist!”
“I am an artist!” Draco protested huffily.
“You’re a lazy sod!” Harry belted back. “And I won’t take it anymore! I’ve been doing it all summer! It’s your turn to mow the lawn and you’re going to mow the sodding lawn!”
They glared at each other for several minutes- Harry with his messy, dark hair and flashing green eyes and Draco with his stiff, aristocratic stand and icy glare. The air crackled with tension- and not the good kind.
Finally Draco broke the silence. “Fine” he muttered “I’ll mow the bloody lawn. But I promise, you won’t like it.”
Harry snorted at Draco’s ridiculous threat and sauntered off, whistling. As he settled in their bedroom and picked up a book, he wondered if Draco would bail on his chores and run off to Pansy’s or something. It would be just like the sneaky git.
But then he heard the unmistakable whirring of the lawn mower and nodded smugly. His boyfriend was hard at work and about time, too!
Twenty minutes later, he realised he couldn’t hear the mower any more. Was Draco done already? It was a pretty big lawn. Harry padded to the yard, intending to check on Draco’s progress.
He wondered how mad his lover really was. Maybe he could make it up to him tonight. After all, Draco deserved a reward for all his hard work…
“Love?” he called, poking his head outside cautiously, lest his miffed boyfriend decided to throw something at him.
But Draco was nowhere to be seen. Harry trailed into the gardens, frowning. And his frown became more and more pronounced as he realised that the lawn looked the same! The grass was still half a meter high and unruly as ever. Draco hadn’t done a thing!
Glaring, the Gryffindor stomped through the grass forest, determined to find the aggravating blond and give him a piece of his mind.
“Draco, you prat!” he yelled at no one in particular as he waded through his neglected lawn “You didn’t do a damn thing, did you? Honestly, I love you but sometimes you’re a real arseho…ly mother of Merlin!” Harry’s rant ended in an oath and a barely suppressed shriek. His eyes widened in shock as he took in the horrific sight in front of him.
As it turned out, Draco had been mowing the lawn. Right there in front of Harry, in the middle of the thigh high grass forest was Draco’s handiwork- a mowed, manicured and almost perfectly trimmed expanse of lawn.
Shaped like a gigantic, very erect penis.
“Draco Malfoy, you’re a dead man!” Harry howled as he waded back to the house.
****
Lawn Mowing Wars #2
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 700 (approx)
Warnings: Suggestive Landscaping *struggles to keep a straight face*
Genre: Humour/Romance
Summary: Draco doesn't want to mow the lawn and makes his thoughts on the subject very apparent.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe, or the characters in it. The following was written purely for fun, not profit.
Author's notes: For slythindor100's challenge #142: Summer
Nestled in the folds of the beautiful British countryside lies a little village called Godric’s Hollow. And in this lovely little village, there is a small summer cottage. The residents of this cottage were probably the happiest people that ever lived. For they were in love- and everyone knows that for those in love, the world is full of beauty, tenderness and eternal everlasting joy.
“You’re a selfish, lazy arsewipe!” shouted resident number one, as he practically drowned in tenderness and everlasting joy.
“And you’re an absolute shite!” shouted the second resident. “I can’t believe you’re making all this fuss over a stupid lawn!”
“It’s not about the lawn!” Harry Potter bellowed at his beloved boyfriend. “It’s about the fact that you refuse to trim the hedges or water the flowers or mow the lawn or…okay fine, it’s about the lawn!”
“I’m busy right now!” Draco replied, brandishing a paintbrush “Why can’t you do it just this once?”
Harry scowled at the canvas and easel situated smugly in the living room. “You’re drawing fruit” he deadpanned. “And by the way, your grapefruit looks like Cornelius Fudge.” He ignored Draco’s shriek of outrage and ploughed on determined to have his say “And you’re not busy! Every sodding time it’s your turn to do something around the house, you decide to play artist!”
“I am an artist!” Draco protested huffily.
“You’re a lazy sod!” Harry belted back. “And I won’t take it anymore! I’ve been doing it all summer! It’s your turn to mow the lawn and you’re going to mow the sodding lawn!”
They glared at each other for several minutes- Harry with his messy, dark hair and flashing green eyes and Draco with his stiff, aristocratic stand and icy glare. The air crackled with tension- and not the good kind.
Finally Draco broke the silence. “Fine” he muttered “I’ll mow the bloody lawn. But I promise, you won’t like it.”
Harry snorted at Draco’s ridiculous threat and sauntered off, whistling. As he settled in their bedroom and picked up a book, he wondered if Draco would bail on his chores and run off to Pansy’s or something. It would be just like the sneaky git.
But then he heard the unmistakable whirring of the lawn mower and nodded smugly. His boyfriend was hard at work and about time, too!
Twenty minutes later, he realised he couldn’t hear the mower any more. Was Draco done already? It was a pretty big lawn. Harry padded to the yard, intending to check on Draco’s progress.
He wondered how mad his lover really was. Maybe he could make it up to him tonight. After all, Draco deserved a reward for all his hard work…
“Love?” he called, poking his head outside cautiously, lest his miffed boyfriend decided to throw something at him.
But Draco was nowhere to be seen. Harry trailed into the gardens, frowning. And his frown became more and more pronounced as he realised that the lawn looked the same! The grass was still half a meter high and unruly as ever. Draco hadn’t done a thing!
Glaring, the Gryffindor stomped through the grass forest, determined to find the aggravating blond and give him a piece of his mind.
“Draco, you prat!” he yelled at no one in particular as he waded through his neglected lawn “You didn’t do a damn thing, did you? Honestly, I love you but sometimes you’re a real arseho…ly mother of Merlin!” Harry’s rant ended in an oath and a barely suppressed shriek. His eyes widened in shock as he took in the horrific sight in front of him.
As it turned out, Draco had been mowing the lawn. Right there in front of Harry, in the middle of the thigh high grass forest was Draco’s handiwork- a mowed, manicured and almost perfectly trimmed expanse of lawn.
Shaped like a gigantic, very erect penis.
“Draco Malfoy, you’re a dead man!” Harry howled as he waded back to the house.
****
Lawn Mowing Wars #2