Checking in
(Trigger warnings: Mention of mass shooting, discussion of Chad behavior)
I don't feel like writing a lengthy update today. I've done enough of that in my physical journal lately, and I'm trying to keep my mind in a better place.
But I will acknowledge that I am fully recalling last year's July 4th tragedy where a mass shooting occurred in nearby Highland Park, prompting all of the surrounding areas to wisely cancel their festivities. My hope is that attending a more typical Independence Day tomorrow will help detach all of that. My fear is that the atmosphere will be different, or worse, that someone somewhere will attempt to be a copycat.
Of course, by writing about it here and now, I'm practically ensuring I remind myself the day before for the next several years.
Dad life is comfortable and challenging. He's continuing to develop new skills every day, and we have to stay three steps ahead of him. It sounds like he's antagonizing the cat with his affections in the living room as I write this, where Evie is reminding him not to grab for Marisa's tail.
Poly life is comfortable and challenging. Now I'M the one who has difficulty making myself available due to my daily duties at home. Oh, right, I need to get back to (you know who you are, I assume you'll be reading this today) about my availability now that the conventions I'm doing this year are almost done.
Oh, and D&D has been on hold since January due to interpersonal difficulties between the DM and a former partner. Fun. Moreover, I've been having difficulty with another group member who opted to trigger my trauma response, which I made clear to the group, and refused to talk about it. This was in response to making a joke in chat, not at anyone's expense, but them deciding I had crossed an unstated personal boundary and needed to be blocked for a while in response. I'm wary of interacting with the individual on any level now, given their dismissive approach to it and the likeliness of it happening again. They're one of those who will do passive (and sometimes assertive, such as loudly interrupting people, VERY loudly) harm to others and call it self-care or establish themselves the victim of a bad interaction they incited, and the more I see that in them, the less I want to have any interaction with them at all. I've recognized it with their interactions with most of the gaming group, so it's not just me. But I went into a multi-week panic attack over that one, and I am not willing to experience anything similar again.
This has ended up including the things after all that I didn't want to write about today. Oh well.
On a happier note, the gaming convention a week ago went well. I feel accomplished. Next one is this weekend, requiring little additional preparation. Along with the holiday and our anniversary, this has made for a very busy time, but at least it's all positive stuff.
You know, expect for today. Forever not fond of today.
I don't feel like writing a lengthy update today. I've done enough of that in my physical journal lately, and I'm trying to keep my mind in a better place.
But I will acknowledge that I am fully recalling last year's July 4th tragedy where a mass shooting occurred in nearby Highland Park, prompting all of the surrounding areas to wisely cancel their festivities. My hope is that attending a more typical Independence Day tomorrow will help detach all of that. My fear is that the atmosphere will be different, or worse, that someone somewhere will attempt to be a copycat.
Of course, by writing about it here and now, I'm practically ensuring I remind myself the day before for the next several years.
Dad life is comfortable and challenging. He's continuing to develop new skills every day, and we have to stay three steps ahead of him. It sounds like he's antagonizing the cat with his affections in the living room as I write this, where Evie is reminding him not to grab for Marisa's tail.
Poly life is comfortable and challenging. Now I'M the one who has difficulty making myself available due to my daily duties at home. Oh, right, I need to get back to (you know who you are, I assume you'll be reading this today) about my availability now that the conventions I'm doing this year are almost done.
Oh, and D&D has been on hold since January due to interpersonal difficulties between the DM and a former partner. Fun. Moreover, I've been having difficulty with another group member who opted to trigger my trauma response, which I made clear to the group, and refused to talk about it. This was in response to making a joke in chat, not at anyone's expense, but them deciding I had crossed an unstated personal boundary and needed to be blocked for a while in response. I'm wary of interacting with the individual on any level now, given their dismissive approach to it and the likeliness of it happening again. They're one of those who will do passive (and sometimes assertive, such as loudly interrupting people, VERY loudly) harm to others and call it self-care or establish themselves the victim of a bad interaction they incited, and the more I see that in them, the less I want to have any interaction with them at all. I've recognized it with their interactions with most of the gaming group, so it's not just me. But I went into a multi-week panic attack over that one, and I am not willing to experience anything similar again.
This has ended up including the things after all that I didn't want to write about today. Oh well.
On a happier note, the gaming convention a week ago went well. I feel accomplished. Next one is this weekend, requiring little additional preparation. Along with the holiday and our anniversary, this has made for a very busy time, but at least it's all positive stuff.
You know, expect for today. Forever not fond of today.