i have no idea why
i ran into my honors professor, dr. ramsey, at starbucks today. i said hello to be friendly, and after greeting me he asked if i’ve ever read any of thoreau’s work. i told him that i (sort of) read walden my junior year, and that i didn’t like it very much then, but i imagine i would enjoy it more now. “do you have a moment to sit?” he asked.
every year, apparently, asu hosts what’s called a featured faculty reading group. a faculty member from the university chooses a book and invites a select group of students to participate in a three-day “class” of sorts with members of the community. the intent is to, as could be expected, offer something educational for the general public to participate in. it’s offered specifically (this year, at least) to the sun city lifelong learning program, so the main goal is to mix different generations to get a wide range of perspectives on some book or other written work. a really cool idea, if you ask me.
dr. ramsey said to me at starbucks that, judging by some of the insight i’ve expressed in class, he believes i would be a good candidate for this program. and the first thing i thought after he said that was “…but i’ve only said like, three things in class…” honestly, i don’t have any idea what makes him think i’m qualified to participate in something like this. discussing walden, of all things, with other honors peers who have been deemed articulate and intelligent, and with people who probably have accumulated much more wisdom than i have over the years. i’ve been taking dr. ramsey’s class for only a month, and i’ve honestly only raised my hand to say something three, maybe four times. and i would venture to say that i haven’t said the most profound things out of all the comments made between myself and my classmates.
i don’t get it. i’ve been recognized more than once for my intellect or the way i excel in academics. and i have no idea why, because honestly, i’m not that smart. i’m not that well-read.
i don’t write this to brag or give off this arrogant, well-i-don’t-even-try-that-hard-but-i’m-still-awesome attitude - far from that. i write this to say that it has become so obvious to me that it is God who has gifted me with this intellect that people acknowledge i have. i am saying right now, in this journal, that it is so not me. i seriously have done nothing to deserve good grades or a scholarship or acceptance into the barrett honors college or this opportunity. apart from God, it makes zero sense to me. i’m not trying to be this “humble,” self-demeaning person either. i just want to give credit where credit is due; and that is to God, not to me, in any way, shape or form.
obviously He’s gifted me in this way for a reason. therefore, i will take advantage of this opportunity, read walden, and see what i can contribute to the world, and how i can glorify God.